Time Flies Too Fast But I'm Still Glad the Newborn Stage Is Long Gone

Mom Moment 10

I remember the bleary days spent trying to drink enough caffeine so that I could properly answer the phone without crying.

Lack of sleep and postpartum depression (which had followed prepartum depression - depression while pregnant) had me in such a state that when my beloved ice maker broken, I found myself prostrate with grief - I could barely function. It was as though a long-lost friend had died, and, let me tell you, I am not the sort of person who normally weeps over broken appliances. 

I'd call someone: my mom, a friend, whomever, and they'd always say this...

"Enjoy these moments, they grow up so fast."

I'm not sure why anyone would say that to someone so out of her mind from lack of sleep and caring single-handedly for a child so needy that I had to bring him to the bathroom with me - if he couldn't see me, he'd freak out and I'd have to spend the next three hours soothing him.

Miserable wasn't a word that carried enough weight - I was downright suicidal (a year of no sleep will do that to a person), and the people I'd called for comfort simply offered me that guilt-inducing statement.

I did, in fact, love my son. I did also, in fact, need a damn break. The guilt didn't help - like he and I were supposed to be running through a field of sunflowers rather than screaming every thirty seconds he didn't have a breast in his mouth.

I enjoyed many of those moments; I'd been so anxious to have another baby that I genuinely adored him, difficult or not, and was beyond thrilled that he was in my life.

I signed that baby up for kindergarten on Monday.

I could hardly believe that he was the same squalling infant, as I held his hand through the hallowed halls of his older brother's former elementary school. He looked up at me, made several fart jokes, then launched into his laugh - the sort of laugh that makes everyone nearby join in. It's just that full of joy.

I remember all the small moments we had as he grew; I remember the love I felt (and still feel for him). And I cannot - genuinely - believe how much he's grown. He's no longer a baby or a toddler - he's a big boy, ready to go to big boy school (rather than preschool). He loves to joke and play, scampering about with his siblings, playing their own made-up games.

And when I look at my son as he is now, I remember those sleepless nights and those days that appeared so bleak. The tiny moments of joy we found together. The thrill I felt when I watched him take his first step, then his second. Soon, he'd taken off running, scampering after his big brother.

And in two weeks, he will go off to school, his backpack full of nifty kindergarten supplies, and I will cry. Not because the ice maker isn't working or I haven't slept in three years, no.

This time, it will be tears of joy. Of pride. Of happiness.

My son, I am beyond proud to be your mother.

I can only hope to make you as proud of me as I am of you.

activities, back to school, boys, elementary school


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shann... shannipoo714

This brought happy tears to my eyes too.I also had the baby weep came to the bathroom with me, even the shower (only way I could get one). That baby is starting 3rd grade next week

we2an... we2angels

I hear ya. Mine is starting kindergarten Tuesday and i'm so happy the newborn days are over. Not a fan, not at all

nonmember avatar Hayley

This is SO reassuring! I have a 3 month old (my first), and we are struggling so much right now. He has severe reflux, colic, and food allergies. He cries between 5-8 hours every day. We cannot put him down without him screaming from pain and discomfort. It is beyond hard right now, and some days I think I am losing my mind. We are trusting that better days lie ahead!

nonmember avatar hhhh

Loved this post. I had a very similar situation when my daughter was a baby, & my mom, who I expected to say something helpful, just said 'its gonna go fast & then you will look back & miss it'. Not nice to hear & no, I don't miss those colicky, waking every hr, no naps, sleepless days & nights. Now that she is 4 we r all sleeping & much happier!!!! Love your posts.

early... earlybird11

We are nowhere near done child rearing.with a one year old, we are hoping to go for a second then a third within 5 years and I remember not sleeping for one year exactly ( he gave me a gift on his first birthday and slept through the night ) had I read an article like this then, it would have been such a relief. Hope to be able to reference back to it in the years to come

nonmember avatar kay

Our daughter spoiled us. The first few weeks were rough with colic and some allergies, difficulty breastfeeding, etc but it passed very quickly and she was sleeping thru the night in her own room by EIGHT WEEKS!! After her we struggled with fertility and praying for another child. Our son was born this year and he was not as kind. Not horrible compared to other babies, but he kicked my ass. I don't want anymore child SOLELY based on that newborn stage. Anyone that can handle that without taking a flying leap off a bridge is a superhero.

mount... mountainmommy37

great post.  My baby boy is going to kindergarten this week too.  I know exactly how you feel.  I was a crazy person while pregnant and for awhile after too....I relate completely!!

Candi... CandiceCorner

I really liked reading this, I totally identify.

Even with 2 yr old toddlers (my daughter right now), another dificult time, people left and right tell me, these are the best times, just wait until they get older, time goes by too fast- I beg to differ with all of these points! I also signed my 5 yr old son for kindergarten this year and we are both thrilled. While I cherish each stage of babyhood, I am real glad to be past the newborn one and look fwd to the day where I'm longer wiping butts on a daily basis :)

nonmember avatar mami

My son just turned 1. The newborn stage was awful. im glad its over.

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