8 Most Ridiculous Things Moms Brag About When It Comes to Their Kids

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honor roll studentDidja hear? Didja hear? We American parents are totally over-the-top wicked awesome at the whole bragging thing.

No, really! We are so good at talking about how awesomesauce our kids are that the Wall Street Journal wrote a whole article this week about how absolutely impressive we are at annoying the crap out of our fellow parents. But while they put the blame on the instant gratification we get from posting pictures of our kids' exploits on Facebook, I think it's something deeper.

Some parents just thrive on one-upping other parents. The problem is we're all kind of insecure as parents, and the braggy moms and dads know how to push our buttons big time.

Don't want to come across as one of these jerks? We talked to a host of parents about the brags that really get under their skin. Here are the top offenders:

1. The Early Developer. Yes, we get it, your kid lost all her teeth by the end of kindergarten. Unfortunately it will take a whole lot more for her to get into college!

2. The Percentile Pusher. So, your kid is in the 99th percentile ... and your husband is 6'5". Could have seen that one coming ... now let's get on to something that really matters.

3. The Simpatico Siblings. It's nice that your kids get along, but something tells me that all those "perfect" moments you're constantly sharing get forgotten on long road trips. Sibling rivalry is normal, it's OK to admit it happens!

4. The Kids Who Potty Train Themselves. Honey, if she watched you go into the bathroom every day, she was learning from you ... that's part of training. So let's revisit: WHO didn't have to potty train their kid?

5. The Multilingual Toddler. Yes, they can count to 10 in 5 languages thanks to Dora and her pals. No, that will not help you in the least when the whole fam takes a trip to Europe this summer.

6. The Perfectly Behaved Kids. I'm sorry that you've never once had to discipline your daughter. She sounds awfully boring.

7. High Performing Children. Sweetie, are these children or are they car engines?

8. The Kids Who "Need" Extra Everything (Classes, Toys, Whatever). Regarding the word need, let me borrow a phrase from the classic, The Princess Bride: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

What are the most annoying things your mom friends brag about?


Image via miggslives/Flickr

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kebrowni kebrowni

Haha, I have friends who brag about every single one of those. Especially the percentile pushers and the ones who claim their kids potty trained themselves (at less than a year 1/2 old). People also like to brag about how their kids slept through the night from birth and how they will eat anything and everything you put in front of them.

nonmember avatar Rachel

My aunt is the queen of bragging. Even though my cousin is an adult now, she brags every Thanksgiving that he made the mashed potatoes. "Aren't the delicious, everyone!? He made them all by himself!! They're so good, right???" ...I want to slap her. If he couldn't make something as simple as mashed potatoes there would be a problem. I firmly believe that if a parent needs to brag about their child, their child isn't that impressive.

Chris... ChrisakaMama

You left out the people who brag about how bad thier kids are/were! They are my favorites. "And then little Johnny just punched that kid right in the face. I told that kid's mom he would if her kid kept walking right in front of him..."  Hahaha, like it's awesome that your kid is evil, and if you get 2 of them in the room it's even better, then they out evil child each other!  I love that we all brag about things our kids do that we have no influence/contol over, too silly.

MeowLove MeowLove

luckily i dont deal with a lot of bragging moms. i bragged when my daughter started walking! i was proud at that milestone! i think we all deserve bragging rights, i go through a lot of frustration, damn right im gonna be proud when things are going right lol! i personally want to see more articles on mommy guilt. how to cope, whats normal to feel and how to deal with it. please stir people! im dying to know what guilts moms go through rather than brags!

SuzyB... SuzyBarno

I have a friend who is a "one upper" mom. If your kid walked by 12 months, hers walked at 7 months. If you ran 1 mile, she ran 3 miles and faster. Lol! I take everything she says with a grain of salt.

Tripl... TripleC14

The percentile ones kill me, along with the CIO-to-perfect sleep parents. Telling me you let your baby scream for 2hrs until he "learned" doesn't impress me, just makes me wanna call CPS! Lol

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

I doubt half those parents are even bragging. So many parents hear about a kid who hit a milestone before their kid did and they assume the parent is bragging. It's wicked obnoxious. If someone asks me what potty training method I used should I lie and say it was a hugs struggle? I don't think so but if I say I just waited till he announced he was ready and we had an easy time with it there are plenty of people would class that as bragging.

God forbid your child do something earlier than average too. If someone asks what age your child learned to walk or talk or tie shoelaces and it's earlier than average people will accuse you of lying or bragging or whatever, even if you give a short answer like "8 months" and don't elaborate at all.

the4m... the4mutts

You make it sound like everything a parent is proud of, makes them an automatic one-upper. I brag about my kids, and I'm not going to stop. I'm proud of them! Anyone that doesn't want to hear it, can leave my house, block me online, and get a life.

Victo... VictoriaGayle

I would not consider a child who can count in other languages "multilingual".  I would call them "a kid that can count in another language".

The idea that your child learning a few Spanish words from Dora is impresive is just...weird.  I mean come on that show doesn't even teach very many words per episode, and after that episode, the words ae never mentioned again!  They are not repeated enough for your child to remember them for more tha a week.

Want a bilingual kid?  Teach yourself a secon language and talk to them in that language every day.

nonmember avatar Amy

So proud parents aren't allowed to be happy and brag about their kids? Why all the negativity? Embrace it, if these kids hit a milestone - then praise them. As adults we shouldn't be so petty - how about we be HAPPY for others instead of living in this selfish society!

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