Something happened the other day that I wished I'd experienced during the first week of summer. It was a gorgeous sunny day, and I rushed through my work in order to take the kids out for a festive, let's-make-the-most-of-August extravaganza. I drove them to parks and playgrounds, we rode bikes, I bought them drippy cones at a gourmet ice cream shop, we went to a pool. And here's how they reacted to our Super Summer Day of Amazing Childhood Memories: they whined.
The sun's too hot. The pool's too cold. There's nothing to do in this park. Can we just go home and watch cartoons?
The reason I say I wish I'd have enjoyed this deeply rewarding day several weeks ago is that it was a much-needed reminder that I don't need to feel guilty that I'm not bombarding my kids with a nonstop influx of fun activities and enriching summertime pursuits. Our Afternoon of Ridiculously Privileged Whining helped me put down the expensive camp brochures -- and boot my kids into the backyard.
We moved from Seattle to Eugene, Oregon at the end of May, and the kids have been on break ever since (I didn't see the point in having them finish out three weeks of school here). The change has been hugely positive -- we're closer to family, friends, and all the activities we love to do -- but if there's been one fly in my otherwise picture-perfect summer it's the long afternoons of being home with my kids.
It's just -- you know, it's hard, trying to balance working-from-home with mothering-from-home. I rely on the TV a lot in the mornings, I often have to bark at them to quit fighting or screeching or making gun sounds, and my response to being interrupted yet again by someone asking for their frillionth cup of milk is rarely a cheery, "Sure, honey! Coming right up!"
I've spent a fair amount of time feeling bad that my kids aren't necessarily experiencing the best of summer on a daily basis. My idea of the "best of summer" being a mashup of my own memories of visiting my grandparents at their remote beach home in Michigan and a flurry of vaguely-remembered Pinterest images, that is. Shouldn't they be running around barefoot every day, lost in a sun-drenched world of make believe, engrossed in photogenic craft activities that secretly boost their math skills? Shouldn't I be doing a better job of hand-selecting their summer experiences?
Like I said, it was the day of interminable whining that got me to snap out of this unrealistic mode. I mean, for one thing, both my kids HATE being barefoot. For another thing, what kind of unrealistic helicopter-parenting existence was I thinking I needed to create for my kids? In the real world, Mom has to work, and at any rate, it's not my job to make every single moment a magical fairytale of wonder and delight.
Besides, here's what I've learned: my kids may bitch and moan about being sent outside to play while I'm hunched over the laptop -- but two seconds later, I look out the window and they're hidden in the bushes at the end of the yard, chattering excitedly about how they're Ninjago guys who have to fight the evil Lord Garmadon. Hey, there's that sun-drenched world of make believe after all.
I've decided to stop feeling guilty about the fact that my kids have to entertain themselves during the day. Instead, I'm focusing on all the awesome things we HAVE been doing as a family this summer, and I hope when my kids are older, those are exactly the same things they're remember most of all.
How do you balance life with kids during the summer? Do you ever feel guilty for not "doing enough" each day?
Images via Linda Sharps
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Comments 6
Thank you for this, Linda! Too many moms have this summertime-guilt complex and they shouldn't. We have had some great adventures this summer, and we have had some days where we don't do anything at all and I don't feel a bit bad about those days. When I say great adventures, I'm talking about a road trip to the Oregon Coast with my Grandma Vicky that concluded with my sister's wedding in Gig Harbor, a rafting trip down the Minam that involved camping way out in the wilderness and another rafting trip down the Deschutes river which included a side trip up White River for the lava shoots that are almost like a nature-made water slide. We are now 3 weeks out to the start of the school year and now it's time to get back to real life. Vacation's over and it's time to get back in to the routine. I don't regret any of my daughter's summer because I know what she's going to remember is the fun days more than the dull days.
Amen to that! While I too battle the internal struggle over the WAH balance while the kids are home for the summer months, I have to remind myself that not only are the kids happy to play in the back yard, ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk or run through the sprinkler, but they are also in the minority of kids these days that can actually entertain themselves. All I have to do is peek across the street to see my neighbor stressing over the daily activity that she has planned (and spent big bucks on) for her 2 girls (ages 9 & 7) who are not able to entertain themselves to appreciate what we have right here at home.
This summer we have done one "big" activity every week. Like, my DDs 6th bday. Or going to Cambria, then to see the elephant seals. They spent 10 days with their dad. The girls had their first away-from-home sleep over.
But, when fun time is over, its over. They swim every other day, whether they want to or not. The other days, I plop in front of the tv with them, and eat popcorn till we explode lol