6 Types of Moms You'll Meet at School Drop-Off

LOL 161

mom at schoolRemember high school filled with jocks, nerds, band geeks, bullies, cheerleaders, and a dozen or so other cliques? As if learning Calculus wasn't tough enough without having to fight your way through an obstacle course of peer pressure and bullying. At least things got so much better once you became an adult, right?

Uh, yeah. Right. Unless you keep your kid in a bubble and never step foot inside their school at all, yeah, things are groovy. But for 99.99 percent of the rest of us, stereotypes and cliques still hold true as adults. So how do today's moms shake down as parents? What groups do they all fall into? Glad you asked! Here's the skinny:

The Bully Moms
You know the type. They're the moms yelling loudest at the PTA meetings. They're the ones who walk right up to the teacher you're in the middle of a conversation with, and without skipping a beat, step right in front of you and just start talking to the teacher. You may know them by another name, though, one that rhymes with "bitch."

The Sports Moms
Notice I didn't say Soccer Moms, because it's not just soccer. It's baseball. And swimming. And lacrosse. And basketball. And tennis. And it's all of those at once. Unless you are one of these moms, chances are you don't have a friendship with any of them because they're way too busy driving from one practice to the next to the next, seven days a week.

More from The Stir: 11 Types of Moms at the Playground

The Cool Moms
Everyone wants to be friends with them. They're like the Heathers from Heathers, the Pink Ladies from Grease, or the, er, Mean Girls from Mean Girls. They're the popular crowd and they know it. And they couldn't care less about you.

The Wannabe Moms
These ladies desperately want to be the cool moms, but aren't. So they'll slum it and be your friend. They'll talk to you no problem ... as long as no one else is around. The second someone slightly cooler than you shows up, it's "sayonara sister."

The Loner Moms
They may come across as mean. Or crazy. Or out of their gourd. But these moms just sit on the periphery of everything without giving you a second thought. They don't talk to anyone. They don't care what clique you're from, they want nothing to do with you. Clearly they have their own friends somewhere else. Most likely online.

The Granola Moms
Be ultra careful around these natural moms. One false move and you can quickly find yourself at the receiving end of a three-hour lecture on why you're the anti-Christ for not breastfeeding your kids for six years like they did. They're into recycling, not vaccinating their kids, eating only organic food, etc. Can you really be friends with someone who actively protests against cupcakes?

What type of mom are you?

Image via Cliff Beckwith/Flickr



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the4m... the4mutts

I would LIKE to say how fucking stupid this is...

But maybe its not.

At my kids' school, we all live within 10 blocks of eachother. We see eachother @ stores nearby. We wave across the street. There MAY be the random bitch that is "too good" for some of th other moms... but if there is, in 3 yrs of my kids being at this school, I've never met her, or seen her.

My son went to Kinder at another school though, and this is how the TEACHERS acted. They were awful! So I guess if teachers can be clique-ey, then parents can be too. Just one more reason I feel lucky to have my kids in this small town, in a city school district.

Angie Hayes

Oh yes, there are clicks, I find the older moms need a group. The ones 40 and above who are standing with me in line and I am 26 and we both have 5 year olds.. I think they always seem mad.

PonyC... PonyChaser

I don't think the "Loner Moms" title is accurate, being one myself. Or maybe I need my own group. I can, and do, socialize with most of those groups. I have friends from the "cool" group, the "sports" group, and can even work with the "bully" of our PTO.

The fact that I'm a "loner" mom is not because I'm antisocial, crazy, mean, have only online friends, or that I don't care about people, it's because I don't care to be categorized. I am my own person, and don't feel the need to suck up to anyone to be accepted into their group.

tinyp... tinypossum

Yeah, there are definitely cliques. You forgot the SAHM's who have time to volunteer all day and hangout in the classroom, organize all the PTO fundraisers (do they do anything else other than fundraise?) and look down on the moms who have jobs. 

tinyp... tinypossum

Angie Hayes, what makes you think the 40+ moms are mad? What would they have to be mad about? I'm one of those moms and I'm definitely not mad about it. In fact, I'm pretty darn happy. Maybe this is your own baggage talking. 

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

Wow.... just wow..... im a sahm but dont have the time to volunteer constantly and i feel my kids should be independent. This will be the first year ill have time but i have no intentions of following my kids. As for the cliques. Im the loner BUT i want to get to know my kids friends parents and we never cross paths. I do talk to some people but nothing to personal. Mostly just small talk. Its hard bein a parent in a kids school lol...

nonmember avatar Bee

Wow, this would just be stupid and rude if it was written by a woman. But it's written by a man, so it's also sexist! Dude, until you're a mom, I don't think you should be judging moms.

Betwe... BetweenCourses

I think we all see these cliques but assume that our own self is a loner. I mean, would ypu recognize in yourself that you are a bully mom? A cool mom or wanna be cool? We all think others are in groups that we aren't part of, making each of us think" oh I must be a loner mom"

Marcella Shambles

@tinypossum - I'm a work at home Mom and do all the volunteering work I can.  I don't look down my nose at the working parents - I get irratated at ALL the parents who can't spend 4-5 hours a school year doing some the crap that fundraising involves.  If we could get more then 3-4 adults on the PTO, it would be a breeze for everyone.  And another group you forgot was the "Good Old Girls" group.  The parents who have been with school for so long they have formed their own clique.

nonmember avatar Liz

Ladies I know it's early and most of us haven't had enough coffee yet, but this isn't sexist, or rude or degrading. It's true and it's pretty damn funny. High school is nothing compared to treading the social waters of your kiddos school lol.

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