My girls go back to school next week, and while I'm not exactly a pro, I have done this before. My youngest will be starting kindergarten, but my oldest is off to second grade.
It's hard leaving your baby at school for the first time. It’s supposed to be. On the bright side: it's preparing us for when they go to college, so we don’t die on the spot from a broken heart. But seriously, don't panic. It's not that bad. Here are a few things I learned along that way that all moms should know before heading back to school.
- Buying all the items on the school supply list is like going on a scavenger hunt for the holy educational grail. It's exhausting, exasperating, and you will most likely never (ever) find the last item on the list. Don’t lose hair or sleep over it. If it's that important, the teacher will send a reminder home to you.
- Trying to wake a kid (who's been sleeping in all summer) at 6 a.m. for school is like trying to lose 10 pounds on the chocolate shake diet. I suggest starting your routine about three weeks before school starts back. I never do -- but I’m sure it would make life easier all around.
- Walking away from your child on the first day of kindergarten is emotionally harder than 13 hours of un-medicated transition labor. I say this from personal experience. It hurts; be prepared. You will cry. Try to wait to collapse in a pool of snot and tears after you round the corner from your child’s classroom. If they see you crying, they may wonder why the hell you are leaving them some place that is so dangerous that you are crying at the thought of leaving them there.
- You will feel overwhelming guilt at leaving your child with strangers. You are not a Bad Mommy. Guilt is the benchmark of a Great Mommy! Remember that the next time you're feeling overwhelmed. You feel that way because you care.
- For the younger sibling of a kindergartner, every morning is like sending the kindergartner off to war and every pick-up is a victory. Be patient with your wee ones who cry for their older siblings. If you think your mommy heart is breaking, the wee one thinks big sis is never coming back.
- Watching your child struggle in social situations is like watching them try to learn how to walk for the first time. You stand back, see what happens, and then you give them gentle nudges in the right direction. If all else fails, you grab them by the hands and show them how it's done. This will be particularly true the first day at a new school. You will want to make friends for them. Don't go all helicopter parent -- practice a little free-range from afar.
- The first week of school will be exhausting, overwhelming, and frustrating. It won't be a picnic for the kids either.
- You will take three trips to seven different stores to find that the only pair of uniform pants that fit perfectly and don't look too "uniformy" are $200 vintage khakis that were worn by Marcia Brady on an episode of the Brady Bunch. True story.
- First day of drop-off, you can be sure that some uber Mommy will walk up to you, call you by your name, and talk to you like she's known you forever while you stand there speechless because your brain is fried from the summer sun. You will have NO idea who the hell she is. It’s okay -- you'll figure it out.
- Seeking absolution from your drop-off faux pas, you will feel the need to step up your Mommying game. This can cause you to do something foolish, like volunteer for several different committees. DO NOT DO THIS. Your guilt will pass but those committees will still expect you to show up.
- Two last words for you: bento boxes. The stuff they let pass for school lunches doesn't pass the mommy test by any means -- breadsticks, cheese, and some fried something or other do not a healthy lunch make.
What is your one piece of back-to-school advice for moms?
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Comments 30
When my kids started school, they had never even been babysat by anyone but me. But they saw the school every day when we took a walk. By the time they got to go, I couldn't barely stop them long enough for a kiss goodbye.
I was relieved to have them at school, so I could clean, talk on the phone, and take a sh*t without someone needing something.
My one piece of advice for the other mammas, ENJOY THE FIRST WEEK WHILE YOU CAN! After that its homework, no more lax teachers understanding you're late because you're new, no more "new" school, because the kids get used to it before you do, and start whining.
Enjoy yourself. Use the time to relax, have a glass of wine, take a sh*t, and maybe even a bath. Or bond with younger siblings.
You'll be grateful if you do.
The first week is stressful for me too but moreso because I'm at work the first half of the week and don't get to do drop off or mornings with them. Daddy does it. They're always so much more calmer and less emotional when Daddy is around. My youngest goes to Kindergarten next year and I know I will blubber like a baby. Great list!
I have a serious problem with #1. The things on the supply lists are what the students need to have so that the teachers can focus on their job, which is to teach. The teacher has enough on her plate without having to send home a "reminder" because you couldn't be bothered to find the items that were on the list the first time. If you're seriously having that much trouble finding something, a politely-worded email or phone call to the teachers will either a) give the teacher a chance to tell you where the item can be purchased or b) if she can't tell you where to get it, give her a chance to replace that item with something else that's easier to find. Simply sending your child to school without the necessary supplies and expecting the teacher to chase you down (and if you looked and couldn't find it the first time, what good is a "reminder" going to do anyway?) is passive-aggressive and counterproductive, not to mention lazy.
@jhslove It was in jest that I said that. I do take all my children's supplies in to school before the first day of school. I also am the room mother. I always contact the teacher if I have trouble finding something on the list , and I do every. year.
My point was that moms have so much to worry about the first week of school, if they can't find the "37" count wipes, it's not a big deal, especially since they make a 40 count. Moms have much more important things to worry about, like comforting their kindergartner and getting all the other necessities like uniforms and gym shoes and lunches made, organizing drop offs. No one is going to die waiting a day for the wipes or glitter glue. That is not being lazy, that is prioritizing.
Why are you so angry?Take a breath. I promise, all the school supplies will make it into class by the first week. If not, we moms will email the teachers and handle it. No one expects the teacher to teack them down.
*track LOL
My oldest had her first day of Kindergarten yesterday. I held it together until I left the classroom but geez. It didn't help that the teacher read The Kissing Hand to them, then the parents stayed to do a Kissing Hand craft. Then all the parents got a goodie bag filled with tissues, candy, and a heart wrenching poem. It's like they were trying to make us cry. :P
I LOL'd so hard at # 5. I have a 2 year old and he just broke down when we got in the car and he realized she wasn't coming with us. He was fine the rest of the day as I'm pretty sure he realized that this means he gets mommy all to himself and that's pretty bad ass. He shouted "woohoo!!!!!!" when I told him we were going to pick her up though and danced all the way to the car. Today was less emotional on all of us. :)
As for # 11: For sure. I've known I would be packing my kid's lunch since she was born.
Deborah, I guess I didn't pick up on your facetiousness. It seemed like you were saying that it wasn't necessary to get the items on the supply list and that it was the teacher's responsibility to make sure that you do. Clearly, buying a 40-pack instead of a 37-pack of wipes is not a big deal. The strong impression that I got from your wording, however, was that it's okay to simply fail to supply an item and expect that if it's that important, the teacher will find the time during the craziness of that first week to remind you. And yes, that attitude does make me angry, because it shows a real lack of respect for the job that teachers do and for their time.
However, if I misinterpreted your piece and jumped to conclusions, then it appears my frustration was misplaced.
Maybe my kids' school is more realistic. They ask that our kids always have a pencil, a backpack, and come fully dressed.
The classrooms above Kinder don't use anything like crayons, wipes, glitter glue, or whatever else you have on this list, except on special occasions.
Makes me glad that around "holiday craft time" the teachers all post a "want" list on their doors, and parents can volunteer to sign for an item to get for the class.
Hooray for nationally accredited city schools! They don't make me buy wipes or glitter glue! LoL