I've always looked at children's birthday parties with one thought in mind: let's get this thing over with. That's meant "the more, the merrier" type affairs, when the number of small children running underfoot is almost topped by the number of adult friends and family gabbing away in lawn chairs. It's insanity.
But I think I have finally found an out. I've spent all these years afraid that if I leave anyone out of the kid's birthday party, I'll be mopping up tears and tamping down hurt feelings down the line. But the latest episode of Mya and Her Moms makes the case for kicking the grandparents out of the kid's birthday party.
Hear that? Buh bye grandparents!
In the episode, Mya, the 8-year-old who lives with (you guessed it) her two moms, Lisa and Laura, gets a visit from her grandmother and great-grandmother to celebrate her birthday. Only the actual birthday has passed, and the grannies weren't on the guest list.
And the way Laura's mom sees it, that's perfect. The women used to show up to visit with their adorable granddaughter on the big day, but they ended up getting lost in the hubbub. The little girl wanted to go play with her friends at her party, and all the quality grandmother/granddaughter bonding had to be shoved into a scant bit of time before the grannies went back home to Tampa.
Now they come after the fact, and they get in all the hugging, spoiling, and Bingo-playing they want. They're happy. The kid is happy. The mothers don't have to entertain two older women plus try to keep a swarm of screaming 8-year-olds from destroying their home. And Mya doesn't have to feel like she's split: wanting to play with friends like a normal kid but guilted into being with family.
I think I'm seeing the light at the end of my birthday insanity tunnel, how about you?
We make such a big deal out of kids' birthdays, but think about it: take your average kid, give them a day with presents and sweets, and they don't really care what the calendar says.
Check out how the birthday goes down for Mya and her moms (plus her grandmas!).
Would you tell the grandparents they couldn't come to their grandchild's party?
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Image via CafeMomStudios/YouTube
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Comments 12
I'm sorry, but it took seeing it on a TV show to figure this out??? Growing up, my parents and my friend's parents did this, and now all of my friends who are parents do this all the time!! It's called the "Family Birthday Party" and the "Friends Party". I thought everyone did it this way - you have family/adults over on a different day than the little kids' 8-year-old sugar-coated, noise-infested blowout.
I still sometimes have other adults over as reinforcement/shepherds for the "kid party" but my son isn't expected to interact with them, other than to be polite as he would to any other adult in our house.
So 16 guests, no more.
If great gma can't come because there is someone else we don't get to see as often that wants to come, so be it.
We verbally invite people to an upcoming event, and make it clear that they cannot invite anyone else.
I'm sorry, but I have 4 kids to tend to, a birthday to keep under control, and I'm not going to be worrying about if there's enough food for extra people, who the random kid is, & if they have allergies, etc.
It may be my kids' special day, but its also MY day as their mother, and I will do whatever I have to so that I can enjoy seeing my child happy, while we celebrate the day I gave birth to them.
I'm with Pony Chaser. My family did it the same way--two celebrations. On the actual birthday, it was family time. The next weekend or whatever date was chosen, there was a party with friends. It worked out great. Family didn't get lost in the shuffle and the family that came to see us individual kids (and not 5 or 6 of our sugar-high friends) got to spend time with us. And we didn't feel guilty for spending time with our friends rather than not-oft-seen family during the party, since they were separate.
I guess because my family all live so close together that this has never been an issue. We all see each other so much anyway that the older people not getting all the child's attention is not a big deal. When I was little my sister and I spent almost every other weekend at our grandparents houses, everyones birthdays were celbrated as a family whether it was the actual day or at the party, and it's still that way now that my sister and I have kids.
I can understand this suggestion though.
As a relatively new Grandparent, I think it depends on the grandparent. My grandkids live out of state, so I'd love to spend any time with them in any way. If I were at their party with all the kids, I would understand that they would want to be with their friends. That's OK, 'cause I'll still get time with them on other days. But then I'm not sure I'd really want to be around all those screaming kids anyway. I could help mom/dad handle the food & beverages, set up & clean up, but I would mind sitting around gabbing with any other adults who were there either.
For some families it works out great to be at the party because the adults actually help with all the activities rathr than being tended to. I've always said, Kid parties are for kids, so if parents come over they should not expect to be waited on hand and foot.
I like the idea of a Kids party and a family party, hey get 2 celebrations with all the people they love. And neither have to be gigantic. I'd make the family party more like a barbecue and have cake for dessert.