My kids came home from camp last week with Ziploc bags full of "Goo." That's right, the very camp that I have given up all summer luxuries in order to be able to send my kids to sent them home with a mysterious substance promising nothing but mess and headaches.
I mean, seriously, couldn't they keep that shit at camp where it belongs? It's the equivalent of giving a preschooler a drum-set as a birthday present. You just don't do it. Period. What else don't I want other people giving my children? Read on.
1. Play Doh. My kids love making spaghetti and snowmen and ice cream out of it. I don't so much share their enthusiasm as I scrub it out of carpets and seat cushions for weeks after.
2. Musical instruments. Unless it's a silent instrument, keep it at your own house, please.
3. Slime. A relative of goo, but even more messy. If that's possible.
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4. Legos. There is no pain like that of stepping down, full weight, on a Lego at 4 o'clock in the morning. It's enough for me to outlaw them entirely from the house.
5. Microphones. As if my kids aren't loud enough, without the aid of an instrument.
6. Anything that requires assembly. Unless, of course, you plan on doing the assembly.
7. Toy guns. I tried really hard for years to keep guns away from my boys until I caved with a water gun. Shortly after, a neighbor gave my son a gigantic Nerf gun and life was never the same. Do what you want in your own house, but keep guns away from my kids, thank you very much.
8. Anything involving food. Easy-Bake Ovens aren't that easy and always result in me having to make a real batch of brownies (that aren't baked by light bulb).
9. Puzzles with a million pieces. Because little puzzle pieces seem to mate with socks and disappear in record speed.
10. Anything you wouldn't want your own kid playing with. Of course.
Did I miss anything?
Image via Scary Mommy


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Comments 94
So kids are supposed to just sit there and be quiet then? That's kind of what I'm getting from this list. As long as it's child friendly and my daughter likes it, she can have it. Lighten up.
I can see the slime or goo being an issue but the rest is not only good for their development but you can also teach them things like cleaning up and picking up after themselves. If you step on lego or any other toy for that matter it is because you aren't teaching them to pick up their toys. As for the noisy toys, if you really wanted silent then you shouldn't have had kids. It seems a lot like laziness if you don't want to assemble your kids toys either. Assembly of kids toys usually arent that difficult or time consuming unless you are assembling an outdoor unit.
hahaha!! my sisters and I would give each others kids toys that were noisy, had millions of pieces, required assembly AND batteries, not expensive ones, we mostly did it for laughs. I think I won whenI gave her 2 and 3 year old girls dual tea sets with about 40 pcs each, could have gotten one fro both, but what would the other feel? hehehe
I've given my OWN kids all these toys. I guess sanity has left my house long ago. LOL
Geez people lighten up... it was a funny post that I'm sure we can all agree with at times. I laughed my ass off because I keep getting reminded of that picture that says "Bitch, I hope you step on a lego!"
you forgot those darn magnetic ball sets
Just re gift them to the same person who gave them to you. If asked say "Oh little Johnny/Jane loooved it so much I thought your kids would enjoy it too *evil smirk*"