My kids came home from camp last week with Ziploc bags full of "Goo." That's right, the very camp that I have given up all summer luxuries in order to be able to send my kids to sent them home with a mysterious substance promising nothing but mess and headaches.
I mean, seriously, couldn't they keep that shit at camp where it belongs? It's the equivalent of giving a preschooler a drum-set as a birthday present. You just don't do it. Period. What else don't I want other people giving my children? Read on.
1. Play Doh. My kids love making spaghetti and snowmen and ice cream out of it. I don't so much share their enthusiasm as I scrub it out of carpets and seat cushions for weeks after.
2. Musical instruments. Unless it's a silent instrument, keep it at your own house, please.
3. Slime. A relative of goo, but even more messy. If that's possible.
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4. Legos. There is no pain like that of stepping down, full weight, on a Lego at 4 o'clock in the morning. It's enough for me to outlaw them entirely from the house.
5. Microphones. As if my kids aren't loud enough, without the aid of an instrument.
6. Anything that requires assembly. Unless, of course, you plan on doing the assembly.
7. Toy guns. I tried really hard for years to keep guns away from my boys until I caved with a water gun. Shortly after, a neighbor gave my son a gigantic Nerf gun and life was never the same. Do what you want in your own house, but keep guns away from my kids, thank you very much.
8. Anything involving food. Easy-Bake Ovens aren't that easy and always result in me having to make a real batch of brownies (that aren't baked by light bulb).
9. Puzzles with a million pieces. Because little puzzle pieces seem to mate with socks and disappear in record speed.
10. Anything you wouldn't want your own kid playing with. Of course.
Did I miss anything?
Image via Scary Mommy


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Comments 94
I laughed SO HARD when I read this. Really? What a wuss, don't you restrict your kids to a table when they play with slime and Play Doh? I do! I sit them down at a table for it, I bring my laundry basket over, or pull the wee table into the kitchen and fold/wash away. And I have to put it away right after, or they get it all over. My Mom did the same thing with me.
Try being a wee more responsible hmm? It might work out better. Your kids will learn they can do things they like and understand your limits too.
Moon. Dough.
I dont mind playdough so much really, because (in my house at least..Whew!) we havent had too many tragic events with it, other than my daughter lumping it all together to look like my dog ate a box of crayons and pooped it out...But the moon dough....Dear GOD the moon dough. Sand. Everywhere. Forever. And ever. >.<
Wow you must be the most fun mom ever!!! (sarcasm) I love playing with slime, legos, musical instruments and puzzles with my son. The only thing I have to be careful with is crayons and markers because he will use the walls as a canvas but still, magic erasers are magically awesome for that. Just chill out, your kids wont be kids forever and one day you will regret being so uptight.
So from reading your list, we should basically give our children corn cob dolls and only jaxs when they are well behaved. Jesus christ that list is aweful! Children need many of these items to help with development. The only one I agree with are toy guns.