If Your Kid Is In My House, I'll Discipline Him My Way

Rant 152

Disciplining your kidsYou've all been there. You've got a playdate over for your kids and they start misbehaving. Or maybe it's just the other kid. Sure, it's easy to snap back at your own flesh and blood, telling him for the umpteenth time not to play dodge ball in the house. But what about the other kid?

Disciplining is just another one of a parent's tough jobs. It's part of the whole teaching process. But if it's another family's child, is it your responsibility to teach them? To scold or punish them for doing something wrong?

Hell yeah, it is!

If a kid's over at my house doing something against our rules, you better believe I'm going to yell at him. To be fair, I'd treat him just like my own kids. If it's something minor, I'd just talk to them and tell them to cut it out. But if it's something dangerous or he's about to break something valuable, the kid gloves are off.

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What I really don't get is when the parents are over too, the kid misbehaves, and nothing happens. Not a peep. I've seen so many kids act like, well, spoiled little brats, trashing a place right under their parent's nose. The parents ignore their kids and just keep talking to the other adult. And I've gotta admit, dads are just as guilty as moms in this one.

When that happens in my own house, my wife's way too nervous to say anything. It could really ruin her friendship with the other mother, she'll say. Personally, I couldn't care less. If a kid's that obnoxious and disrespectful, I don't want him in my house. And if his own parents aren't going to do more than mutter a single, "Now cut that out," I have no problem dropping the hammer. Whether their parent's around or not, if a kid's doing something wrong, they're going to hear it from me.

If we're at your house, though, by all means let your kid walk on furniture, play Frisbee with the fine china, and draw on the walls with permanent markers. Your house, your rules.

So if you're too afraid to discipline your own child, then keep him way clear of my house. Otherwise, if he's not careful, he may actually learn something.

Do you discipline other parents' kids?


Image via Ken Wilcox/Flickr

behavior, discipline, play

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nonmember avatar Leslie

I won't discipline a kid if their parent is there. I'll tell the parent our house rules, and let them get on it. If they choose not to do anything, I'll ask them to please watch their kids in our house. Third time is a red card and the whole family gets ejected. As far as kids without parents, I'll let them know I they are on the verge of breaking a rule. If they continue with their behavior, I'll warn them that one more time and they have to go home. One more time and they go home. Parenting them is not my job, I'll let their own families deal with that business.

nonmember avatar Domenic

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this place at this blog, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.

Joy Gillingham

Before going to someone else’s house, my parents always reminded me that the basic rules in my friends’ houses were the same in mine. Like others on here have said, different houses have different rules, so if I was doing something I wasn’t supposed to according to my friends’ parents, I got a warning and this was all that was needed for me to behave. My parents had no qualms disciplining me if I needed it. As others have also said, different kids need different levels of discipline, which is why my parents explained that all I needed was to be yelled at and I behaved, if I continued to misbehave without my parents there, my friend’s parents would call my parents and then I would be yelled at and grounded once my parents picked me up-this only happened a few times and I quickly got the message. However disciplining others kids has always been a confusing situation to be in for me, so I'm never quite sure how to handle it other than to call the parents and have them take care of the discipline problem.

Joy Gillingham

 


Regarding me misbehaving at my friends' house when my parents were there, you bet they disciplined me-by scolding me, making me help clean up any mess I made, taking me home right away, and not letting me play with my friends for a while until I could show my parents I could behave myself.  I'll do the same for my kids when and if I have any.


 

Joy Gillingham

 


The nonmember who pointed out about spankings, which is very common in the south, is what I mean in my earlier comment by "However disciplining others kids has always been a confusing situation to be in for me, so I'm never quite sure how to handle it other than to call the parents and have them take care of the discipline problem."  Now, if my kid would be in a life


Regarding me misbehaving at my friends' house when my parents were there, you bet they disciplined me-by scolding me, making me help clean up any mess I made, taking me home right away, and not letting me play with my friends for a while until I could show my parents I could behave myself.  I'll do the same for my kids when and if I have any.


 

south... southernwldchld

It depends on the kid.


My sprogs have some friends around the neighborhood that I am not really familiar with their parents. If they misbehave, I send them home. 


Now, I also have a group of kids that come over that I am very close with their parents. Those kids I treat like my own. Time outs, wall sits, chores, pushups, etc. I talk to my kids and their friends like they are people. And we have the house rules posted in the living room, on a large piece of paper. I expect every child who comes in to read and follow them.


If my kid does something wrong, and you see it but I don't, please for the love of god correct them. I never wanted my kids to be those "You're not my mom" kids. They're expected to treat other parents with the same respect they give me.

Tara Pheneger

It's all about relationship. I typically have kids over that i know the parents and we have an understanding. With other Christian parents I feel it is easy to arrange an acceptable discipline before it happens. Then there are no surprises and the kids know from the start what to expect. Most of my friends welcome any discipline given if they know what I will plan to do. Most of the time, it is either going home, time outs or they will not be welcomed back for a while. This usually does the trick. The shear embarrassment of knowing they aren't welcomed back for a bit helps them to remember. But relationships are key and having a plan before the chaos stikes. DisasterMOM.com

nonmember avatar Chrissy

I wouldn't have a problem with someone else disciplining my child on a play date (within reason, of course....no locking them in a closet or anything). In fact, if I'm not there...I would expect it. He needs to learn right from wrong, even when left in someone else's care. However, there is a thin line between discipline and child abuse...don't lay a hand on my child!! Like another poster said, if he is being that bad...call me and I will deal with it as I see fit.

nonmember avatar Juz

Wow I have just been in this situation recently with my neighbour kids ... I don't tolerate back answering from my own kids when I say stop I mean stop ... The neighbours kids kept talking I had out the new rule in place but they keep talking about why they did what they .. I explained it didn't this is the new rule that's it... But still kept going so I told them all to get out and home ... The mother was very angry at me for yelling but I stand by my house my rules and I don't let my kids talk back so I'm sure as hell not going to let others do it to me especially in front of my kids .

nonmember avatar Kendall

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