Big Kid

Can you imagine if being a mom meant we got to sue somebody every time we suffered some childrearing-related injury?! Ka-ching!! Especially in the case of Stacey Wilson Betts, the Oregon mom who's suing Justin Bieber and his people for $9.23 million because she claims her hearing was "permanently damaged" after taking her daughter to a Bieber concert in 2010. Not by the magical voice of the Biebs, himself, mind you -- but by the hordes of howling fans.

Still, this is apparently Bieber's fault, because according to the lawsuit, the young singer "created a wave-like effect of screaming by pointing into various sections of the arena" like a "sound conductor creating a sound blast." Ah yes. The dreaded "sound blast."

Not sure why any of that came as a surprise to Ms. Wilson Betts -- perhaps this was her first teen idol live in concert experience? But that's not really the point: Raising kids is hazardous to our health, plain and simple. That's part of the job description. $9 million bucks over a bunch of screaming kids? What's next? Perhaps ...

$2.5 million for ketchup spilled on shirt while chaperoning school picnic

$600,000 for mental anguish over stress-induced gray hair

$1 million for window broken by foul ball

$5 million for occasional sleep deprivation-induced eye twitch

$250,000 for permanently disfiguring forehead wrinkles

Not a bad little money-making scheme, now that I think about it, but it would never work.

Do you think this mom deserves $9 million dollars for hearing damage from a Justin Bieber concert?