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Spanking Your Kids Out of Love Is Not Abuse

by Janelle Harris on July 4, 2012 at 10:05 PM

corporal punishmentThe hot button debate about whether or not spanking is a viable, productive way to discipline children has gotten more fuel for its ongoing fire because, you know, proponents for each side just didn’t have quite enough material to quibble over up until now. The latest in the long lineup of postulations is new research from the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg, Canada, which claims disciplining kids with physical punishment such as spanking—and, of course, its handmaidens, shoving and slapping—may raise their risk for developing mental health problems when they get older.

From the gate, there’s a problem with the assertion. The research is clearly skewed as a bully pulpit against corporal punishment because shoving and slapping are so not in the same category of discipline as a swat across a kid’s behind in a moment of correction or a spanking out of love as part of a parent’s plan to set an unruly child straight. 

As a matter of fact, the study’s author, Dr. Tracie O. Afifi, lumps spanking in with not only shoving and slapping, but hitting, grabbing, and pushing, in essence making those actions out to be one in the same. WebMD takes it one step further by adding in denying bathroom privileges, forcing a child to eat disgusting substances, or withholding water and food.

More from The Stir: My Parents Spanked Me & It Still Hurts Me Now

Seriously? I know opponents are eager to prove their point that all physical discipline is the handiwork of a less loving parent, but there is a line between punishment and just flat out abuse. Let’s review: if you wail on your kid without any kind of emotional or psychological bolstering, if you pull out the belt or snap off a switch at the least little misstep, if your kneejerk reaction is to raise a hand or foot to mollywhop a child into better behavior, then you might just be an abuser. But that’s not the case for moms and dads who correct with an occasional spanking and follow that up with loving conversation that reinforces the values and expectations behind the punishment in the first place.

American parents are pretty much split down the middle between the spankers and the non-spankers. Forty-eight percent of U.S. moms and dads use corporal strategy when time-outs and talking-tos just won’t get the point across. But according to Afifi’s research, physical punishment increases a person's odds for having a mood or anxiety issues, alcohol or drug abuse, and personality disorders. According to the study, between 2 and 7 percent of mental health problems among the 35,000 subjects involved can be attributed to physical punishment.

At the end of the day, you can find research to support just about any theory, thought, idea, or belief if you dig long and hard enough. I think this is just another attempt to pare parenting down to one blanketed method instead of letting folks find out what works for their families with free conscience. And since kids don’t come with an instruction manual, I think our time would be better served stepping out of the gray area of corporal punishment and trying to figure out how to help in some of the 1,001 other areas that are less objective, more cut and dry, and much more in-our-faces.

So, do you think kids who get spanked are more susceptible to having mental issues as adults?


Image via goodnight_photography/Flickr

Filed Under: behavior, discipline, family, in the news, kid health, safety

Comments

121
  • Naomi...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Naomi Guiney

    July 5, 2012 at 8:27 AM

    I dont care what that study says. I believe in spanking my child and since my local social services has told me to my face it is ok im gonna do it. I have the right to punish my child


  • work4...
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    work4mickey

    July 5, 2012 at 8:30 AM
    You are absolutely right in that this study is flawed in that it includes punishments that ARE NOT spanking. Clearly, including them was the only way to get the results the researchers wanted.
  • Seren...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Serena Shirley

    July 5, 2012 at 8:35 AM

    If 48% of parents CURRENTLy spank, I am fairly certain that percentage was even higher when the people in this study were children. Even if it were exactly the same, for only 2%-7% of a group of people who all have mental health issues to have issues linked to spanking seems way too small to say it it linked. Furthermore, I think a better study would be instead to take a sample of people who were spanked as children (and differentiate spanked from abused) and look at what percentage suffer from mental health issues, and THEN of those who do have issues, which percentage can truly say their issues are a result of spanking.

    I don't like spanking, because my experience with spanking was bad (you should never leave bruises on your child) but there have been a hand full of times I have had to give my "angel" a swift swat on the behind. Most of the time, the threat alone is enough to keep her in line, but sometimes, time-out and threats of spanking aren't enough, and I have to follow through, or I risk inconsistency, which to me is worse than any punishment.


  • Zynthia
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Zynthia

    July 5, 2012 at 8:37 AM
    I think that an occasional swat on the but when done from a parent with a clear mind frame is not going to destroy the child. I do think that not every parent who claims to spank their child is in that mind frame. If you have an ounce of anger in you when delivering this punishment you are not doing it "out of love".
  • Gonne...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Gonneke Van Veldhuizen-Staas

    July 5, 2012 at 8:37 AM

    Inflicting pain can never turn out right. You simply can't slap anything good into an child (or an adult or an animal for that matter). Inflicting pain is a power-contest and the strongest always seems to win. But in the end everyone looses.


  • emily
    -- Nonmember comment from

    emily

    July 5, 2012 at 8:39 AM
    I believe in spanking but on occasion my lil man is almost two and if k spank him he just gets mad and starts hitting back. I've found with him putting him in tome out and not letting him move is more effective at times then spanking.
  • Vicki
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Vicki

    July 5, 2012 at 8:42 AM
    "Raping your wife out of love is not abuse." Doesn't sounds quite right does it?
  • Maran...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Maranda Swafford Everson

    July 5, 2012 at 8:46 AM

    I believe that spanking is only a last resort or to be used when something is clearly dangerous and some thing that you do not want to happen again i.e. running out into the street or parking lot, you dont want that to happen more than once. It does not lead to children thinking that is the only way to get their point across if explained and love is given afterward. Children are not anmials they can be reasoned with after a certian age.  Then spaking should stop.  


  • work4...
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    work4mickey

    July 5, 2012 at 8:46 AM
    Also, there is a right, and wrong way to spank.
    Don't spank for accidents or because your kid won't shut up, is hyper and is getting on your nerves.
    Do spank for willful disobedience or if your child does something dangerous, paticularly if it's been discussed before.
    It's also a good idea to have rules for yourself, such as only with your palm (no belts, spoons, ect.), only on the butt, never more than 3 swats, and if it doesn't imediately halt the behavior (for now) don't just keep doing it, it isn't working.
    My son knows these rules, and will call me on it if I break them (I'm not perfect), after which I will apologize.
    Also, once you spank your kid in public, you'll never have to do it again. Just warn them that you will when they start to misbehave. They know you'll do it.
  • bobek
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    bobek

    July 5, 2012 at 8:48 AM

    I agree with the post, there is a difference between occasional spanking that is followed with loving reassurance and abusive behavior. Physical abuse goes hand in hand with psychological abuse which is in my opinion far more damaging in terms of mental illness.


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