By now you may have heard the big news: Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise. Doesn't it seem like just yesterday that Tom was jumping off a sofa over Katie? Well here's the other shocker of the day: Katie is demanding sole legal custody of their daughter Suri.
Meanwhile Tom's rep released a statement saying, "Kate has filed for divorce and Tom is deeply saddened and is concentrating on his three children. Please allow them their privacy to work this out." Some are saying Tom was blindsided by the filing. I hope Katie's request for sole custody doesn't mean they're in for a nasty custody battle. I think someone should ask: What does Suri want?
Family therapist Ruth Bettleheim says that when it comes to deciding child custody in a divorce, the parenting plan should include input from the kids if they're old enough. What if Suri loves her dad and wants to spend more time with him?
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All joking about Katie's "contract" with Tom expiring aside, this makes me a little sad. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship Tom and Katie had, and it doesn't matter how Suri found her way into that family. Functionally Tom is her father. And IF he's gay* -- I mean, let's just acknowledge that elephant rumor in the room -- that doesn't mean he can't still be a great father for her.
Maybe Katie is angry about something that happened with Tom. Maybe she doesn't want Suri exposed any more to Scientology. Who knows? But I cringe on Suri's behalf for the custody battle that may be coming. I hope, when the dust from today's flurry of announcements settles, Tom and Katie take the time to find out what their daughter wants. And I hope she'll be able to have a solid, healthy relationship with both of them.
*That's a big IF -- I'm just addressing rumors, not speculating or trying to pass that off as a factual statement.
How much say do you think children should have in custody arrangements?
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Comments 22
Ok seriously people. This is none of anyone's business but theirs.
Good god, she's just talking LEGAL custody, not PHYSICAL. Really, do some research. She's not trying to deny visitation, just secure the important decision-making regarding Suri's welfare. Clearly, evidence abounds on his stability, and also his work and travel schedule. Those are legitimate concerns if Suri is to be raised primarily by a more anchored Katie. In CA, you almost have to be in prison to be denied joint PHYSICAL custody, which is how this will end up. And as NM commenter kaerae pointed out, this is an initial bargaining position, ie, If this is about leveraging money to supplement her prenup, etc.
By the way... in CA, a child, esp one this young, has absoLUTEly NO say in all this, unless a 730 psych eval is court ordered with abuse/neglect cited in the initial declaration.
Karma's a bitch, too, Tom is blindsighted by this, much like he did to Nicole, the day before their 10th anniversary to avoid paying alimony, a CA divorce guideline.
Very true. I've been through it and kids want to have a relationship with their Dad even if he is a scoundrel as long as he's good to them. Its probably just a legal ploy.
I can't blame her for wanting sole custody. Who knows what happened behind closed doors. I wish Katie all the luck in the world in that situation.
Katie doesn't want her daughter raised in a religion that many nations have declared a "cult". I don't think her actions are unreasonable. She also has the advantage of seeing the way Tom has nearly completely cut out the mother of his other two children in regards to child rearing decisions. Suri is much too young to have any imput into where she lives or who she lives with. If she stated one parent abused her, that should be looked into. Otherwise, it is for the adults to hash out.
LOL Stacey!!
this is a shame , divorce is not the answer to oh we can't make it work, Tom is a man of his own breed ... but he is Suri's father and needs to be treated as such