By now you may have heard the big news: Katie Holmes has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise. Doesn't it seem like just yesterday that Tom was jumping off a sofa over Katie? Well here's the other shocker of the day: Katie is demanding sole legal custody of their daughter Suri.
Meanwhile Tom's rep released a statement saying, "Kate has filed for divorce and Tom is deeply saddened and is concentrating on his three children. Please allow them their privacy to work this out." Some are saying Tom was blindsided by the filing. I hope Katie's request for sole custody doesn't mean they're in for a nasty custody battle. I think someone should ask: What does Suri want?
Family therapist Ruth Bettleheim says that when it comes to deciding child custody in a divorce, the parenting plan should include input from the kids if they're old enough. What if Suri loves her dad and wants to spend more time with him?
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All joking about Katie's "contract" with Tom expiring aside, this makes me a little sad. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship Tom and Katie had, and it doesn't matter how Suri found her way into that family. Functionally Tom is her father. And IF he's gay* -- I mean, let's just acknowledge that elephant rumor in the room -- that doesn't mean he can't still be a great father for her.
Maybe Katie is angry about something that happened with Tom. Maybe she doesn't want Suri exposed any more to Scientology. Who knows? But I cringe on Suri's behalf for the custody battle that may be coming. I hope, when the dust from today's flurry of announcements settles, Tom and Katie take the time to find out what their daughter wants. And I hope she'll be able to have a solid, healthy relationship with both of them.
*That's a big IF -- I'm just addressing rumors, not speculating or trying to pass that off as a factual statement.
How much say do you think children should have in custody arrangements?
Image via AOL.com
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Comments 22
Some kids don't know what is really best for them... if there is a legitimate reason for her to be requesting sole custody, then it might be for the best. We love our parents, more often than not, no matter what kind of people they are. Sometimes, however, parents do not do what is best for the child and thus can do more harm than good.
Not that any of us know what is going on here- so much speculation. But asking for sole custody is quite a big deal... and one that should not be taken lightly. If there is a real concern for Suri's well-being- it is for the courts/advocates to decide, not little Suri.
If my husband belonged to a cult I would want sole custody too. OK, she married him knowing what she was getting into you may say. Or... did she? I'm thinking she was semi in denial and also uninformed, then started learning what this Scientology stuff was all about and then had a child. She saw how the cult would basically take over Suri's life and so she wants OUT.
Good thing Tom doesnt believe in depression.
Just because she has sole custody doesn't mean Suri wouldn't spend any time with her father. And at 6, I don't think she's old enough nor mature enough to be making life decisions like that. She might decide one day she wants to live with Daddy because Mommy was "being mean." There is a reason why courts don't let little kids make custody decisions. If she were 16, this would be a different story.