We've come a long way -- sort of. No matter what a woman accomplishes in life, one self-esteem obliterating thought will always pop into her mind: Am I pretty enough?
And it's a question we start asking ourselves way too early. Research says our body image is in the gutter a decade before we are even worried about who will ask us to the senior prom.
Miss Representation, along with SPARK, LoveSocial.org and I Am That Girl compiled a bunch of sad, if not exactly shocking facts about how young girls see themselves. Among them:
80% of 10-year-old American girls say they have been on a diet. They number one magic wish for your girls age 11-17 is to be thinner.
53% of 13-year-old girls are unhappy with their bodies. That number increases to 78% by age 17.
32% of teenage girls admit to starving themselves to lose weight.
Tragic but nothing new. These problems go back centuries, not decades. Every girl has felt fat one time in her life whether she was or not.
Of course the blame is always placed on the media. Airbrushed photos in fashion magazines and stick thin stars present an image most of us will never, ever get close to even though we desperately try. But I say parents are part of the problem too.
We need to be more upfront with our daughter. When they are little, we try to shield them, saying "It's what's inside that matters most." Yea, when you are five. But what about when they hit junior high? For most of their lives, our girls will be judged by what they look like. Yes, pretty, thin women have always had an advantage. They have always gotten perks dowdy girls don't.
Of course we should tell them it's wrong, but it's reality. At the same time, I say let's point out all the plastic surgery these stars have had. Tell our girls no one who eats a normal, healthy diet could ever look that way. But also reinforce that all that beauty means nothing without brains -- and a good heart too. This won't necessarily change the fact that girls will envy those A-list beauties, but at least early on they will know that the whole culture of beauty is unrealistic and unfair.
Do you think parents should talk to their young girls about body image?
Image via BarbieFantasies/Flickr
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Comments 22
Ali is exactly right. Yes, the media plays a part - a HUGE part - but it starts with parents. Moms, when you go to buy a new swimsuit, and your little girl (or boy) is with you, are you looking in the mirror saying, "God! My hips suck! I am SOO FAT!! I'm going on a diet this minute!!" or do you say things like, "Hmm, this suit doesn't look right. Maybe a different color or a different style would suit my body better"? I'm willing to bed a lot of money that it's the first, because we NEVER blame the clothes for being ill-fitting. It's always our imperfect bodies that are the problem. Interesting.
When we're at home, are you eating a salad for lunch because the veggies taste good or because it's low-cal? And what are you saying in front of your children? Dads, are you telling your wife that she's funny, smart, capable? Or are you constantly celebrating only her beauty? Not that you shouldn't tell her she's beautiful, but if that's *all* your children see/hear from you, what message does that send?
Continued...
My story: When I was SIX, I was told by a male member of my family that I needed to "start running" b/c I was "getting fat". My mother monitored my food intake, fussing at me every single time I asked for seconds, but also requiring me to finish every morsel on my plate, even if it was food I hated. I was regularly judged for my weight by family members and friends. That judgment has continued throughout my entire life, and I have plenty of issues because of it.
On top of it, my mother was constantly talking about how she was too fat and needed to diet. My dad was a fitness fanatic who had the entire family on a very strict exercise regimen.
So be aware of your own actions and verbage. How do YOU perceive YOURSELF? Are you constantly comparing yourself to magazine models and media stars? Do you trash yourself in front of your kids? Do you eat salads and run because it's good for you, or because you're "too fat"? It makes a HUGE difference!
You are your kids' first example of body image. YOU set them up - and continue to influence them - far sooner than the media ever could. Don't set them up for failure.
Yes, and no. I agree that in some ways society favors the beautiful...but, in other ways...not so much.
When I was 15, and looked like I was 18...I was so innocent, and sheltered. I didn't even know that I was being sexually harrassed until I was older. Now I look back at things that teachers, and parents of friends said to me (that I didn't understand at the time) and I am HORRIFIED.
My daughter...she's gorgeous...at 6 yrs old. I'm terrified for her. Thankfully...she has three brothers who will have my express permission to punch anyone who says something offensive to her. If they get suspended...I'll take 'em to Disneyland.
What's to talk about, just teach them to love themselves.
"Every girl has felt fat one time in her life whether she was or not." That's simply not true. I know there aren't many of us, but some girls feel they are too thin and can't for the life of them gain weight. That would be me.
I agree with zombiemommy916. When someone says a woman is pretty, I automatically think about the face. I've met a couple overweight women who have the most gorgeous faces. Also, not every woman that is deemed beautiful or pretty has high self esteem. I've met some rather unattractive females who had insanely high self esteem and then I have a friend who is stunningly beautiful and doesn't see it at all. I think that no woman is truly happy with her body or her looks all the time.
And yes, I think it is very important for parents to talk to their children about their body image.