Ever since we made the firm decision that our daughter would be an only child, I've been hearing the criticisms. She's going to be spoiled! You're screwing up her whole life! Start saving for therapy now!
I could write another post defending my choice to be one and done. But I'm not going to. Folks, I am waving the white flag. You are right! My only child is already showing signs of being all kinds of screwed up. Behold the evidence!
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1. Our family of three cannot play board games that require four or more players. Sorry kid, you're never going to get to play Apples to Apples, so you better get used to Monopoly.
2. She farts, and we know it. You can't blame that kind of smell on a dog.
3. She has her own room, which she has to clean. By herself. After she messes it up.
4. Her teachers do not have a warning of what it is going to be like to teach a kid from our family. They don't realize she's full of piss and vinegar until they actually meet her.
5. There's no one to lord it over when she brings home all As on her report card. Maybe we should send the dog to obedience school?
6. She has never been rescued in the middle of a stern talking to by someone distracting Mom with a dirty diaper, fall down the stairs ...
7. I know who left that bicycle in the middle of the yard, and I do expect her to move it. By herself.
8. It was a total shock on the first day of kindergarten when a little boy threw sand in her face ... none of the adults she'd hung with prior to that ever dared do something so juvenile.
9. No one gets her jokes. The last time the other members of this house thought bathroom humor was hilarious was at least two decades ago.
10. It's bad enough thinking your parents had sex enough times to create each and every one of your siblings. Now imagine the one time they had sex (because you know!), it was to make you ...
OK one and done parents, go ahead, add yours. What have you done to totally screw up your kid?
Image by Jeanne Sager
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Comments 70
I'm just impressed that she's the only one laughing at bathroom humour in your house... your husband must be a lot more mature than mine is!
As an adult only child, I find I missed out on a lot of "childhood". I was the "23 year old midget at 8 years old". I am blessed to have friends and a spouse that have been with me several decades to remind me of how things really were. I was limited in parenting my 4 sons because I don't know how to be a sibling. My closest cousins are my children's age. I am now actively tending to my parents and that can be very emotionally exhausting. Planning my father's funeral all be myself sucked.
My daughter 18 months and is an only child, her favorite toy is our hallway mirror. She just laughs and dances for herself. It's the saddest/cutest/ most pathetic thing and it's why she's starting preschool in the fall. I will say however, that whenever we have a playdate, she's so mystified by another baby that she is very generous with her things and loves to give hugs. We are most likely stopping at one.
I am 40 years old and gave birth 5 months ago to my one and only child. I feel so blessed I have her in my life and her farther and I are very excited to share our lives with her. We are huge outdoor people who love hiking, boating, kayaking, skiing and traveling.....I want to give her the world and even though she will be an only child she will never be an lonely child.....and one more thing....when I do get old I would never expect my daughter to take care of me.....when the time comes and I can no longer care for myself I will give everything I own to her then go live in a retirement home.
I had a brother growing up and all we did was fight. I moved out at 18, and have only seen my brother a handful of times since then (I'm 25 now). I might as well be an only child at this point. My daughter (5) is currently an only child and I'm still undecided on if I want more or not. She gets along very well with her friends at school, has a lot of friends outside of school that she plays very well with, and plays very well by herself, too. I don't think it's a matter of if you're an only child or not; it's a matter of your raising. My parents didn't intervene between my brother and I, so we were our own worst enemies. My daughter has been socialized and TAUGHT proper etiquette for social settings. It's all in the parenting style
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