Ever since we made the firm decision that our daughter would be an only child, I've been hearing the criticisms. She's going to be spoiled! You're screwing up her whole life! Start saving for therapy now!
I could write another post defending my choice to be one and done. But I'm not going to. Folks, I am waving the white flag. You are right! My only child is already showing signs of being all kinds of screwed up. Behold the evidence!
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1. Our family of three cannot play board games that require four or more players. Sorry kid, you're never going to get to play Apples to Apples, so you better get used to Monopoly.
2. She farts, and we know it. You can't blame that kind of smell on a dog.
3. She has her own room, which she has to clean. By herself. After she messes it up.
4. Her teachers do not have a warning of what it is going to be like to teach a kid from our family. They don't realize she's full of piss and vinegar until they actually meet her.
5. There's no one to lord it over when she brings home all As on her report card. Maybe we should send the dog to obedience school?
6. She has never been rescued in the middle of a stern talking to by someone distracting Mom with a dirty diaper, fall down the stairs ...
7. I know who left that bicycle in the middle of the yard, and I do expect her to move it. By herself.
8. It was a total shock on the first day of kindergarten when a little boy threw sand in her face ... none of the adults she'd hung with prior to that ever dared do something so juvenile.
9. No one gets her jokes. The last time the other members of this house thought bathroom humor was hilarious was at least two decades ago.
10. It's bad enough thinking your parents had sex enough times to create each and every one of your siblings. Now imagine the one time they had sex (because you know!), it was to make you ...
OK one and done parents, go ahead, add yours. What have you done to totally screw up your kid?
Image by Jeanne Sager


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Comments 70
I belive it's all in how you were raised. I grew up with parents never together and learned how to be independent really fast. I had/have a very active imagination and had no problems playing on my own *gasp*. I do have cousins, and I had many friends my age when i was growing up, so I did have other interactions beyond my stuffed animals playing Alice in Wonderland. One of the best things then, now, and in the future, is that I learned how to share when I was with others, but I knew when I got home my stuff was my stuff and I could do with it what I wanted. My parents fought enough as it was, I didn't need a sibling to have rivalries with.
I was an only child....and now (even at 25) I am socialy awkward. I can admit it. My advice to one-and-done parents: Have a LOT of playdates with other children that are the same age (or around the same age) as your child. Also, try to get your child "involved" in alot of activities. See what he/she likes, and try to work with that.
I loved this article! To add to the list, I'm screwing up my only child by giving her all of the love I have to give. She doesn't have any siblings to compete with for Mommy's attention...poor child!
My initial reaction was to blast a PP'er for her implication that all OC's are "complete bullies and little monsters," which is crap, but instead I'm going to agree with peanutsmommy1 and the OPs that said it is in the parenting. My ONLY child is in a daycare where most of the kids have siblings, and yet my DCP is constantly telling me that she wishes all of the kids were like mine because she is "so sweet and so well behaved." I witness other kids at the DC throw tantrums when they don't get their way and their parents subsequently give in to their "demands." My child is held accountable for her actions, and understands there are consequences if she misbehaves; the lack of this in parenting is what creates behavioral issues, not the # of children in a family.
Being an OC definitely has its advantages. My BFF's (grown) OC feels bad for some of her friends who grew up w/siblings as she sees how they have no idea how to be alone without being lonely. She loves having some time to herself, and doesn't need distractions or someone to keep her entertained at all times. I grew up with two older brothers whose primary goal seemed to be to make me miserable and always wished I was an only child...growing up would have been much happier.
I am an only child, and I'm one of the few who is not complaining at all. And I'm almost positive my daughter will be an only child also. Even now in my 30s I still like the attention and the help I get from my parents (I'm pretty sure with siblings it would have been totally different) Do I sound selfish, yeah and I'm ok with it.
I had a friend who was an only child, she was very sick and any good friend she had became immediately family (myself included) she passed away at the age of 19 in april due to her illness (which is genetic) but if she had a sibling growing up she wouldn't have been so lonely. She admitted that to me. I loved her like a sister though, RIP Haley
My beautiful girl is the center of my universe, guiding her in hers, but my true regret is that I did not have another.
Nature — and consumerism — are biased to pairs.