Making fun of children isn't nice, but teaching them to be able to laugh at themselves is an important skill that too often gets pushed aside as many parents today overreact to every little thing that may hurt their precious little one's feelings. Case in point: Arizona mom Christina Valdez who's outraged over a recent award her daughter was given at school.
Valdez's 8-year-old daughter, Cassandra Garcia, came home from her school recently with the offending award. Instead of it being a source of pride like most awards would be, it was a "Catastrophe Award" given for the "Most Excuses for Not Having Homework." It was signed by her third grade teacher with a smiley face, but it left Valdez feeling anything but smiley.
In fact, she was outraged that it was given to her daughter in front of classmates who laughed, and she went to the school to complain. She says the principal blew her off and told her it was a joke. She told KGUN9-TV:
I think it's cruel and no child should be given an award like this. It's disturbing.
Whether Cassandra actually had a problem making up excuses like the dog ate her homework, I don't know, but I don't think it's nearly as big of a deal as this mother is making out to be. She told the station she's so upset that she won't be sending her daughter back to that school next year. The station got input from all sorts of specialists who chimed in with how awful the award was too. "They feel less than, they feel fearful of authority of what might happen if they make a mistake," said psychologist Sheri Bauman.
Or maybe next year they'll stop making excuses and actually do their homework? Look, while I don't think the award was the best move on the teacher's part, I think the mom's reaction will do a lot more damage to the girl in the long run. Instead of just telling her to brush it off as a bad joke, she's teaching the girl to take herself way too seriously.
Learning to laugh at ourselves and being able to take a joke are vital skills in life. I'm working on it big time with my 8-year-old son who gets irate anytime anyone dares laugh at him or ribs him even a little. In a perfect world, no one would ever laugh at our kids, but it's not perfect, so we may as well give them skills to deal with it rather than freak out over every little joke.
Do you think it was wrong for the teacher to give out this award? Do you think the mother is overreacting?
Image via smbuckley23/Flickr
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Comments 62
I was made fun of and teased constantly in school, especially in 7th grade. If a teacher had embarrassed me like this in front of the kids who did the teasing, this would have been crushing. I had so much anxiety in 7th grade about going to school that I had stomach issues to the point that my mom thought I had a medical problem. So, I don't think we can say whether or not this child was hurt. There is no reason to humiliate another person. People keep talking about growing a thick skin, but all of this stuff does not guarantee that a kid is going to become stronger and handle this stuff any better. In some people it causes the opposite and the constant public humiliation can cause life long self esteem issues. Again, I'm not saying that kids shouldn't learn discipline and have consequences, but there are better ways to do it.
Well, if she had made sure he was doing his homework in the first place, he wouldn't have gotten this award and she wouldn't be so upset by it. Most 3rd grade boys I know would find this hilarious and even be proud of it. If my kid came home with something like that, I'd save it to be pulled out and shown to his future wife at a later date. ;)
Where the hell you ever got the idea that shaming is anti-intellectual, but I suppose you're only a product feel-good self esteem upbringing. If you could only stop watching reality TV long enough, you would learn quickly that the shaming in academic and scientific community is a potent weapon. But, the fact you find shaming bad explains why children now are increasingly committing crimes; there's no shame in it anymore.
Better my outlook than the disgusting emotional wussies we're becoming. Read up on life in America in the 1900s; they used shaming and corporal punishment on kids at school. What happened to these kids? They turned America into the greatest country the world has ever known. And men like you are destroying America better than Al Qaeda could ever hope to do.
My brother got "The biggest clutz" award in his 1st grade class. He constantly tripped over his own feet in class, during recess he walked stright into poles (like the swingset structure), fell off of the slide, and (drum roll please) he tripped on his shoelace and fell into an opening door and BROKE HIS NOSE!
My mom had told the school after the first week that unless there was blood or something broken to just send a note home, no need to call her at least once a day to inform her that he had gotten hurt. The day he broke his nose, his teacher hugged him while waiting for my mom to get there to take him to the ER and told him "One day, you're going to laugh at this, I promise".
He is 18 now and that award is STILL hanging up on his wall, and he tells the story of WHY he got it all the time..... By the end of the school year when he had recieved his award, he DID laugh at all the stuff he had done. It's good for kids to learn to laugh at themselves.
This award was given to him in front of the entire elementry school. Grades K-5. You know what he said? "I'd like to say this: Always TIE YOUR SHOES!" and had the whole gym roaring with laughter. He got the reward because he could take it in stride. If the teacher thought the little girl could take HER award in stride, then so be it. Mom was probably the only one who couldn't take the joke in this case.
Bullying is far different. I had a teacher bully me in 7th grade to the point where I had to be transferred out of his class. He was a misogynist who took pleasure in humiliating girls in his math class. Trust me, THIS is not bullying.
Absolutely it was wrong for this teacher to act in such an immature way. The adult like thing to do would have been to contact the parent early on about the homework situation. She should have tried to identify the problem not embarrass the child which does nothing but make matters even worse. If a child can't trust a teacher to help them rather than condemn them then they have no chance of getting a real education. She taught this child that being a bully is appropriate behavior and that is clearly not acceptable.
We don't know the many situations around why a child may not be doing their homework. Parents that fail to help or enforce it. Parents that work and are not able. Parents that are uneducated themselves. Abusive and or neglectful homes, etc... The teacher overstepped their boundaries by becoming a students bully.
This mom = fake outrage. Why do I get the feeling she is more outraged about this somewhat inconsequential catastrophe award, than the very important fact that homework was not turned in? Why does mom pretend to be so concerned about her daughter's "humiliation" at receiving this award in front of the class and then run to the media and turn her daughter's relatively private humiliation into a very public one? I feel bad for this kid: her mother's a flake.
That teacher would NOT have a job teaching when I was done with her if that had been my child. Instgead of huminilating a child, the teacher should have been in constant communication with the parent. There is something positive in every child and a person who can't see that has no business being an educator. I will not send my child to school to be tormented by anyone, teachers included. What she did amounts to nothing better than Bullying. I think that this parent is simply teaching her child to demand respect for herself; teasing is going to happen, that doesn't mean you shouldn't stand up for yourself.