10 Insulting Things Kids Innocently Say

Yesterday, my four year old kindly asked my why my belly was still so big if I didn't have a baby in there. So, of course, I asked him why he was such an asshole. (Just kidding, I didn't. But I wanted to.)

Thankfully I'm not the only one with a less than complimentary child. I asked my friends for the most innocently offensive thing their child has ever say to them and the answers were quite ... insulting. It's a good thing we love the little assholes.

1. "They don't even have to say a thing ... They burst into laughter when they see me naked. That's enough!"

2. "My three year old told me that my singing gave him nightmares and kindly asked that I just leave his room instead."

3. "My son asked if he could ride his cars across my belly because it looked like it had tracks. Nice!"

4. "How come your boobs are so low when you wear your nightgown, mommy? They're in the normal place when you wear clothes. ..?"

5. "My kids do not believe that I am the person in my wedding album. They simply refuse to grasp it."

More from The Stir: 15 Cringeworthy Things Little Kids Say in Public

6. "I took my daughter to the OB with me. When it was time to get on the scale, she guessed that I weighed a billion pounds. Sadly, she wasn't so far off."

7. "Last week she took my hand before crossing the street, "I'm practicing being a girl scout and helping the elderly across the street"

8. "Mine asks me to show them how my arms flap in the wind. They think it's hilarious."

9. "My favorite: 'Mommy, you look just like Grammy now!'"

10. "I was about eight months pregnant, watching Little Mermaid with my then 2 year old and Ursula came on the screen. My sweet little angel clapped her hands excitedly and sqealed, 'It's mommy!!'"

What's the most insulting thing YOUR child has said to you?

Image via Scary Mommy



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jalaz77 jalaz77

When my daughter was 3 we were showering together and she said, "Mommy you have big boobs, I have little boobs, You have a big butt, I have a little butt". Haha, I laughed cause yes, that is true. There would be something very wrong if we were equally sized. She is now 6 and just the other day she wanted me in a dress to be beautiful instead of my skirt. Trying to figure out if that skirt is ugly or not. When I used to sing, my 2nd child (boy) would conver my mouth. So far the 3rd has been insult free! They are too funny anyways!

teddy... teddysmama09

Too funny!!!! There's an old saying that the only people who tell the ruth are drunks and kids and it's so true. So far my son hasn't come out with anything too offensive, but I know ts coming.

Shandi80 Shandi80

Hahaha! These are hilarious.

prplecat prplecat

My then-3-yo son saw a picture of the singer Meatloaf and wanted to know why my picture was on the inside of that CD.  :/

Amanda Krampota

My 3 year old daughter saw me changing clothes and said  Wow you're a big mommy.  I told her she was big also(she's not. She is tiny.) And she said nope i'm small, you the big one and walked away.

Bonnie Bruns Williams

This was actually one of my friends kids that said this to his mother, (while I was 8 months pregnant), "Miss Bonnie is pregnant??!!" She said, "Yeah, Josh, what -- did you think she was just fat?!" And he just shook his head yes and blushed.  Lol, and he was 8 years old!

MomLi... MomLily67

My daughter said:  "You are jus t bit skinny",  as in opposite of saying "You are fat", hahaha!!!

pupuk... pupukeawahine

I was getting ready to die my hair, and my then six year old told me he did't want me to--he liked his old looking grey-haired mommy!  Sort of back-handed compliment, I guess!

dreamsky dreamsky

When I was 25 (29) now, my then six year old said mom you look 35 and grandma looks 20! Ay ay ay!!

navyw... navywife0204

My daughter has said to me, "mommy, you have a fat belly!"  Yes, i'm aware of that sweetie! 

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