Do you ever look at photos of "kid-friendly spaces" in design blogs or magazines and marvel over their cleanliness, lack of clutter, and artful presentation of lovingly hand-crafted wooden toys? Do you ever wonder why your own house, in comparison, is an eternal shitpit filled with broken Happy Meal figurines and unwashed laundry?
I don't need to wonder, actually, because it's clear why my house is a disaster zone: I live with pint-sized human versions of the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes. I'm generally okay with the fact that my home will never be featured in a fancy lifestyle magazine, but there are a few things that consistently drive me up a wall. No matter how much I nag, or how much cleaning I do on my own, these messes are always there. ALWAYS.
Behold, my biggest kid-clutter irritants:
There is always a sock. Wherever you look, a sock is there. WHAT THE EFF IS WITH THE SOCKS.
Oh hey how about a jumble of shoes in front of the door that must be navigated at 3 AM when the cat yowls to be let out? Have a nice trip! See you next fall!
Pretty much what 8,000 images in my photo library look like. Thanks for the (nebulous, space-hogging) memories, crappy kid apps!
"Why is the tape out here? And this pen? Guys? Guys?" *guilty silence*
This is my 6-year-old's nightstand. He's either a magpie or a hoarder, I'm not sure yet.
The toilet. Let us not speak of it.
Apparently the laundry basket has a complicated and powerful force field surrounding it that both repels its contents and turns every single goddamned article of clothing inside out.
Speaking of laundry, every load of clothes comes with a surprise in the bottom of the washer!
The good news is that the couch doesn't always look like that. The bad news is that 99.9% of the time, it looks even worse.
What's that searing pain in the tender instep of your foot? A.F.L.! (Another Fucking LEGO.)
Are any of these scenes familiar to you? What kid clutter drives you crazy?
Images via Linda Sharps
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Comments 75
OMFG the SOCKS! lol Socks are everywhere....but barely a match to be made in the laundry...if it even makes it to the basket instead of being lazily hidden underneath a bed instead of bringing it downstairs as asked.
And...you forgot the little piles of ripped up construction/toilet/printer paper that always seems to find their way to the surface of most ALL tables in the house...
AND instead of Legos....we have Littlest Pet Shop animals methodically breaking down our feet bones O.o
And finally....Yes...the toilet. I should, in no way, be as excited as I get when I realize my kid took a dump and actually FLUSHED!
Instead of legos, we have Thomas trains. Which are slightly bigger and thus should be easier to see, yet hubby and I are constantly breaking our feet on them. I totally here you on the shoes! OMG the shoes. I have one kid and he still manages to have about 8 pairs of shoes out at any given time. One thing you forgot was the damn board puzzles. So much fun for a toddler to take apart, but apparently not much fun to put back together!
OMFG, I nearly spit out my breakfast, laughing at the saved pictues. that is my IPAD, and computer. lolololol
I guess I should be glad my kids flush. The 4 year old even does "courtesey flushes" half way through because he says his poop smells gross, the two and a half year old boy and the one and a 16 month girl are potty training together and take turns flushing, and the 4 year old will dump their little potty (and not spill) if he thinks I'm taking too long. I love how the 15 year old we just took in will wad up a bunch of clothes and throw them in the washer, not caring that hey, somehow there is a diaper in there! (bathroom laundry is next to the trashcan, sometimes my husband misses his toss). Just YUCK!
I guess I should be glad my kids flush. The 4 year old even does "courtesy flushes" half way through because he says his poop smells gross, the two and a half year old boy and the 16 month girl are potty training together and take turns flushing, and the 4 year old will dump their little potty (and not spill) if he thinks I'm taking too long. I love how the 15 year old we just took in will wad up a bunch of clothes and throw them in the washer, not caring that hey, somehow there is a diaper in there! (bathroom laundry is next to the trashcan, sometimes my husband misses his toss). Just YUCK!
I had a really really bad morning with my lovely 2 yo and this article just puts everything into perspective. Thank you so much for making me see Im not the only one. :-)
LMAO! Thanks! I have spent the first five years wishing/wondering why my house NEVER looks like those magazines, and my ex-sister in laws always does, thanks for showing me I'm not the only one!
Oh, and what is with the socks? I mean, I find socks in the couch, the chairs, I even found one in the fridge last week! How the F did a sock get in the FRIDGE???????