Do you ever look at photos of "kid-friendly spaces" in design blogs or magazines and marvel over their cleanliness, lack of clutter, and artful presentation of lovingly hand-crafted wooden toys? Do you ever wonder why your own house, in comparison, is an eternal shitpit filled with broken Happy Meal figurines and unwashed laundry?
I don't need to wonder, actually, because it's clear why my house is a disaster zone: I live with pint-sized human versions of the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes. I'm generally okay with the fact that my home will never be featured in a fancy lifestyle magazine, but there are a few things that consistently drive me up a wall. No matter how much I nag, or how much cleaning I do on my own, these messes are always there. ALWAYS.
Behold, my biggest kid-clutter irritants:
There is always a sock. Wherever you look, a sock is there. WHAT THE EFF IS WITH THE SOCKS.
Oh hey how about a jumble of shoes in front of the door that must be navigated at 3 AM when the cat yowls to be let out? Have a nice trip! See you next fall!
Pretty much what 8,000 images in my photo library look like. Thanks for the (nebulous, space-hogging) memories, crappy kid apps!
"Why is the tape out here? And this pen? Guys? Guys?" *guilty silence*
This is my 6-year-old's nightstand. He's either a magpie or a hoarder, I'm not sure yet.
The toilet. Let us not speak of it.
Apparently the laundry basket has a complicated and powerful force field surrounding it that both repels its contents and turns every single goddamned article of clothing inside out.
Speaking of laundry, every load of clothes comes with a surprise in the bottom of the washer!
The good news is that the couch doesn't always look like that. The bad news is that 99.9% of the time, it looks even worse.
What's that searing pain in the tender instep of your foot? A.F.L.! (Another Fucking LEGO.)
Are any of these scenes familiar to you? What kid clutter drives you crazy?
Images via Linda Sharps