Crazy Fears Moms Have (And Dads Don't Care About)

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Public bathroom signWomen are wired so differently than men. And I'm not just talking about the plumbing here, ladies. When it comes to parenting, it amazes me how far apart in thinking we can be.

Like most dads, I do worry about my kids. Are they safe? Are they happy? Are they too young to see The Avengers? (Thank God, no!) These are fairly standard fears that all parents go through. But on top of those, moms have some of the craziest irrational fears around. Read on... unless you're scared.

Public Bathrooms What is it with women and public toilets? It's like they're petrified an alligator's going to come out and bite them in the ass if they use one. And letting your children actually sit on a toilet seat? Call the police and lock me up! You'd think we just suggested giving our kids an Ebola bath if we even try taking them to the john at McDonald's. Yes, I understand public toilets can be nasty. If the stall's gross, go to a different one. Slap down some toilet paper on the seat and let your kids do their business. Seriously, what's the big deal?

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My wife tells me she's constantly freaking out that the kids are going to get lice. The second one of my boys scratches his head, she pounces on him scouting for eggs. I can count on zero hands the number of times I've worried about my kids getting lice. And I don't know any other dads who'd disagree with me.

Empty Nest Syndrome Know what I caught my wife telling my kids the other day? She was laying down some life rules for them. You know, important stuff. Like the fact that when they grow up and get married, they have to live nearby. And call their mom every day. And visit all the time. Yeah, that's all great but I'm more concerned with how big a TV they'll have in their house when we come to visit.

Leaving the Kids With Your Husband Yeah, your spouse. The father of your children. It'd be nice for us dads to take our kids out to a movie or a ball game without our phone ringing 20 times to make sure everything's okay. Really. We're fine. We'll let you know if something's terribly wrong. So go enjoy yourself; we've got this one.

Okay, okay, to be fair, we dads are afraid of something too:

Barbies Just about the only irrational fear I can think of that dads have revolves around their boys playing with Barbie dolls. Not that there's anything wrong with that.


What irrational fears do you have about your kids?

Image via Mr. T in DC/Flickr



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Stacey. Stacey.

This was a funny article, and I agree with all your wife's fears.

I have a fear of letting my daughter touch anything in public, even things like my keys and cell phone. I know kids need to be exposed to germs, but the thought of my daughter touching a public park bench then putting her fingers in her mouth disgusts me. Her dad on the other hand couldnt care less, and always says she needs to eat some dirt (wisdom from his great aunt).

nonmember avatar Zoogie2

Men aren't worried about Lice because the majority of the time, women end up having to deal with the shampoos, lice combs and bagging/washing everything. Growing up, I watched my mom deal with four kids with lice, two of which were her boyfriend's kids. Her boyfriend just ignored his kid's lice, leaving his ex-wife and girlfriend to handle it. This from the man that scoffed and complained when we asked him to kill spiders, avoided lice like the plague.

Maybe if you told your wife that you would handle all parasites, vermin and pests that your kids pick up - scabies, lice, ringworm, etc. she wouldn't worry as much. Unfortunately, she already knows that she'll be the one in charge of de-lousing your little ones.

linzemae linzemae

The empty nest syndrome... You Will Most likely push your kids further away!

LizB86 LizB86

Ha ha, we are the opposite, my husband is the one with the unreasonable fear of public restrooms! And he's already preparing his shotgun for when our daughter wants to date, no matter how old she is. All I can say is, good luck with that one!

PonyC... PonyChaser

I must secretly be a dad, because I'm as perplexed by these fears as you are!!

And Stacey... we have a saying in our family, too: "God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt."

We grew up, as kids, outside and dirty. Breathing fresh air, eating dandelion blooms and leaves, diggin up worms and putting them on hooks, then cleaning and eating the fish we ate. None of my brothers nor I have allergies. My husband was raised by a germ-o-phobe who followed him everywhere with bleach. She's still OCD about cleaning, and tsks every time she walks into my dust-filled house (we live on a dirt road in the country). HE is the one riddled with environmental allergies, and spends every year, from about March through October shot up with one drug after another to relieve the symptoms.

I know it's circumstantial, but I'll take it. My son gets dirty every chance he gets, and regularly eats peanut butter and Honey sandwiches, made with local honey. That boosts the immune system, too.

Let your kids get DIRTY!!!

Torra... TorranceMom

Uh oh Andrew! Dads don't want their sons playing with Barbies?!? *Gasp* Cue the "bigotry/intolerance" police in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

cassi... cassie_kellison

I'm not scared of the germs in the bathroom, I'm scared of the potential perv in the bathroom. If my son goes to the boys bathroom alone, I am right at the door to make sure he comes out in a timely manner, and alone! If I have to go to the bathroom also, he has to go in the girls bathroom with me, even though he's 5. And I do have irrational fears about my son going places with my husband without me. I have been with this man for 11 years, so I don't know why I should be so scared. I trust him with my life, but apparently not our sons?? I wanted to get them fishing poles for fathers day so they can have fun at the lake, just the boys. But I'm too scared to let them go alone!!

MomoJL MomoJL

My husbands favortie saying to our kids - "Rub some dirt on it.  You're fine".  :)  We're from the country and we like it that way! 

And I agree with him, no fears here, although some moms will make me feel terrible that I don't chase my kids around with sanitizer. 

crabbyD crabbyD

This was HILARIOUS!!!! Thanks for my midday laugh ;)

the4m... the4mutts

I have only 1 irrational fear- kids at the beach being swept away if I let the within 20 ft of the wet sand near the water.

I do it anyway, but at the beach, I am like, worlds worst helicopter mom.

I'm not scared of water, or sharks. Just for my kids at the beach.

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