Public bathroom signWomen are wired so differently than men. And I'm not just talking about the plumbing here, ladies. When it comes to parenting, it amazes me how far apart in thinking we can be.

Like most dads, I do worry about my kids. Are they safe? Are they happy? Are they too young to see The Avengers? (Thank God, no!) These are fairly standard fears that all parents go through. But on top of those, moms have some of the craziest irrational fears around. Read on... unless you're scared.

Public Bathrooms What is it with women and public toilets? It's like they're petrified an alligator's going to come out and bite them in the ass if they use one. And letting your children actually sit on a toilet seat? Call the police and lock me up! You'd think we just suggested giving our kids an Ebola bath if we even try taking them to the john at McDonald's. Yes, I understand public toilets can be nasty. If the stall's gross, go to a different one. Slap down some toilet paper on the seat and let your kids do their business. Seriously, what's the big deal?

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Lice
My wife tells me she's constantly freaking out that the kids are going to get lice. The second one of my boys scratches his head, she pounces on him scouting for eggs. I can count on zero hands the number of times I've worried about my kids getting lice. And I don't know any other dads who'd disagree with me.

Empty Nest Syndrome Know what I caught my wife telling my kids the other day? She was laying down some life rules for them. You know, important stuff. Like the fact that when they grow up and get married, they have to live nearby. And call their mom every day. And visit all the time. Yeah, that's all great but I'm more concerned with how big a TV they'll have in their house when we come to visit.

Leaving the Kids With Your Husband Yeah, your spouse. The father of your children. It'd be nice for us dads to take our kids out to a movie or a ball game without our phone ringing 20 times to make sure everything's okay. Really. We're fine. We'll let you know if something's terribly wrong. So go enjoy yourself; we've got this one.


Okay, okay, to be fair, we dads are afraid of something too:

Barbies Just about the only irrational fear I can think of that dads have revolves around their boys playing with Barbie dolls. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

 

What irrational fears do you have about your kids?


Image via Mr. T in DC/Flickr