Since so many of the men and womenfolk who read The Stir are vehemently opposed to spanking, unlike me, I’m interested to see what the verdict is on public punishment.
Case in point: a picture recently posted on bestselling Christian chick lit author ReShonda Tate Billingsley’s Facebook page is going viral, showing her D.I.D. (that would be daughter in distress) clearly upset after what can only be described as yet another instance of bad decision-making on—what else?—social media. I swear these kids can’t get their Facebooking, Twittering, and Tumbling acts together, so I’m all for her creative form of discipline.
Girlfriend doesn’t look very happy, does she? Good. She’s not supposed to. It’s obvious from her grimace that she’s not enjoying it, which will hopefully make her think twice before being grown and taking pictures with liquor again. And, even at that, being goofy enough to post them on Facebook (though it’s a good thing she did, otherwise her mama may not have found out, at least as quickly as she did. Sometimes kids’ lack of decorum on social media is a parent’s best friend). The note says it all.
Public punishment is certainly nothing new, but maybe it’s a renewing trend in the land of parenting because just last week, before this young lady found herself in hot water, another teen girl in North Carolina met a similar fate. Her father, Donell Bryant, made his daughter, Quandria, stand on the shoulder of a highway and hold a sign that said, "I have a bad attitude. I disrespect people who try to help me," on one side and, "I do what I want, when I want, how I want," on the other. Oh, one other thing: dad timed it so she’d be pacing with her sign just as her fellow students were getting out of school. She had been suspended but Mr. Bryant didn’t think the punishment was severe enough and voila! He let a piece of poster board, a Sharpie, and a message take it from there.
Apparently it was effective. Local news got wind of the story and Quandria admitted she needed to change and planned to do better.
I have done something very similar with Girl Child. When she was in the heat of her tween angst last year, giving me problems at every turn and a stank attitude to boot, I went to AC Moore, bought a pin—the kind politicians wear when they’re campaigning—and wrote inside, “Ask me about my grades!” She wore it to church one Sunday and instead of being able to brag about her report card, like the folks asking her were expecting her to, she had to admit she was goofing off in class, not doing her homework, and wasting her mama’s money on Catholic school tuition.
We hung out at church a little longer that day. Coincidentally, of course. But by the time we loaded into the car, she had had more than enough of an earful about the mistake she was making doing crappy work in school.
Here are a few more kiddies who’ve been on the wrong end of their parents’ creativity and (hopefully) learned their lessons as a result. Do you think public punishments are effective?
Image via Facebook

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Comments 32
I'm all for it!! I have done something similar. We got bright orange plastic vest that people use to go hunting in and in Black marker wrote on the back " I made bad choices but hopefully This will help"... Then had my son pick up trash around the neighborhood. he had gloves on and had to fill a HUGE trash bag before he was done...and we never had that issue again.He learned everything he does has a consequence. rather it be a good one or a bad one. he had let me and the commuinty down.. their for he needed to do something to make it right (by cleaning the neighborhood up) Now don't get me wrong I understand that kids/teens/tweens make mistakes and I'm ok with that. I have talked to them about the different issues til I was blue in the face.. However i have a son who keeps making the same mistakes over and over again and the talking did NOT work. and that's when you go to extreme measures as a parent before it becomes a problem for society in the future.
I lied to my mother one night and told her I was at church with my youth leader when I really was out joy riding with friends and older boys. Thank goodness nothing happened to me but when my mother found out, she made me stand up in front of church and explain what I did and apologize. I still remember the humility I had and it worked!!!! I am 26 and that was the worst punishment I ever faced.
Coming from someone who was verbally abused(same as emotional), this is NOT that at all. And its kind of demeaning actual abuse by saying that. This is parents showing their children enough is enough and we aren't going to take your crap anymore. Sometimes, being grounded or taking something away is just not enough. As a teen, I knew how to work my mom(who would always have the last say on anything having to do with me with my step dad). If she had ever made me do something like this, I probably would've straightened up a lot quicker but she's a softy. Might I add I was so crafty, my mothers response would probably be something like B or Ali's because she still doesn't even know half the things I did.
cont. Let me tell you, my parents had MANY heart to hearts with me. Yes, they helped me to make smarter decisions(like not having sex) but I am pretty damn lucky I didn't get into any really bad trouble(legally or otherwise) in high school. And thats all it was, luck. Most teens(if they have friends) are bad and they just get lucky and don't get caught. Unfortunately, a lot of the time, just communication is not enough. Thats all my parents ever did with me(besides 2 pretty harsh punishments) and it took me till the age of 23 when they cut me off to really grasp that my actions can have major consequences. My mother and I are very close, but she definantely wasn't as hard on me growing up as she shouldve been. DONT CODDLE YOUR CHILDREN PEOPLE!!!! There is absolutely nothing abusive about this so long as you already have a good relationship with your child and you have done your job in building up their self esteem through the years. If you do have a good relationship, this kind of punishment wouldn't harm that.
@CPN322...I just have to agree with you. My mom was another one of those "lets talk it out" types and due to a severely abusive past and involvment of CPS in my early childhood (not her fault, my father's fault and he was kicked out as soon as she knew what happened) She was VERY reluctant to do anything that came close to "punishment" since my younger sister learned really quick that the threat of "I'll report you" got a reaction out of our mom. I learned to play her so very easily and she never did figure out half the crap I did since she was so consumed with trying to stay ahead of my younger sister's out of control behavior with no real way of controlling her. I truly think this kind of thing would have helped!
A lot of the trouble teenagers get into are usually things they don't expect to get caught doing (even though they sometimes forget Moms and Dads have FB and twitter now too). When you expose their bad behavior and call it what it is, they have to face what they did and the consequences in the cold light of day. It's extremely effective.
If ALL criminals were publically humiliated along with their sentences, I bet there would be a lot less crime. Especially among the celebrities and wealthy members of society. Who'd want to be embarrassed on national TV and the internet? Certainly not the business mogul who embezzled money. He'd never work again in his chosen field. If corporal punishment was also included, crime rates would plummet. Your 16 jack a car? Beat his/her bare butt on live TV. Not only will a temporary physical reminder remain, but when he/she gets back to school, all the kids would be like, "dude, you're a moron!" It may not work in all cases, but corporal punishment and public humiliation can work wonders on bad behavior for most people. Shame about oneself and one's own actions are some of the deepest, most negative feelings a person can have, Most people would do anything to avoid feeling shame and losing dignity.
I agree with Nonmember ali; it's a low and immature thing for parents to do. It only teaches them that they can't trust you and to hide their mistakes instead of learning from them. And what are you teaching them about how to treat friends, significant others, or their own children? That publicly humiliating them when they've upset you is a legitimate way of dealing with your problems? No, thank you.