Be thankful your husband didn't learn from his father to say, "Why would I get you something, you are not my mother?"

My in laws are the kind of people who take 'vacations' that are actually work, like kayaking and hiking, ect. I want a mother's day vacation. One all about, you know, relaxing. Not work. I've often said I dream of getting some kind of non lethal infection that requires that I stay in the hospital for a few days. In a suite. Cable, pain killers, food service, and unlimited sleepy time...ahhh....sounds like heaven.

this was funny, but i would like breakfast, lunch and dinner all in the bed and not have to clean any of it up!!

I wnat to spend a great day WITH my kids :)

PART I I was Google searching "I hate Mother's Day," hoping to find posts from other bitter infertile women/women who lost their mothers when they were young (I am both of these), but then I found this, and I became ENRAGED. I both cried and yelled. I would ordinarily remain quiet, as most mothers cannot possibly relate with someone who feels so bitter towards pregnant women/women with children (hey, that is what one stillbirth after extreme illness, eight miscarriages, and then complete infertility post-cancer does to you), but this time, I could not keep my mouth shut. Let me take this point by point. 1. Not to be woken up. Chances are, I’ll be up well before 7, but I want to at least try. ^ Most mothers have laughingly told me how lucky I am to not be a mother, and I want to slap their faces every time they do. I would DIE - DIE - to be woken up even just ONE day. You should be thankful that you have children to wake you up, and that your arms are not empty like mine are. EVERY. DAY. OF. MY. LIFE. No, not just one day. Every day.

PART II 2. Not to pick out clothes. I don’t care what the children wear -- they can be mismatched, filthy, and stained, I just don’t want anything to do with it. I wish that I had children to dress. I wish that I knew what that was like, but I never will. 3. Not to think about dinner. It’s one of the first things I think about every day and it’s frequently greeted by yucks and ewwws. I need a day off. All that I can think is "ungrateful." Really? Those "yucks" and "ews" would be welcomed by me. Cherished, even. 4. Not to drive anywhere. Unless it's the spa. That I could deal with. I could certainly deal with it. I would even give up the spa for the rest of my life just to deal with it. 5. Not wipe a single nose or wipe crusty food off of a face. God, I feel repetitive at this point. I would do anything in the world to wipe a nose or wipe crusty food off of a face. I would give anything to know what it feels like to do that for my own child.

PART III 6. Not to bathe the children. It’s my least favorite task, hands down. Least favourite? Really? You should find joy in everything that you do for your children, because YOU HAVE CHILDREN TO DO IT FOR. 7. Not to be in charge of bedtime. Yes, I want to snuggle with the kids. I will sing them my '80s medley of lullabies and maybe even read a book or two, but I don’t want to deal with the million whines and calls long after I have tucked them in. This one pissed me off more than any of your "complaints." Every night, I wish that I could hear the voice of my child calling out to me to come back and tell them more stores or ask for this or that, but instead, all that exists is an empty crib in the next room with no child in it. An empty crib that I have spent unnumbered hours lying on the floor and crying next to. Why don't I just take it down, you ask? I don't know, I guess because that would mean really coming to terms with the fact that I will never hear that voice. But you - YOU - a blessed woman who has EVERYTHING that I ever longed for - dreamed about since I was a child - you actually complain about it? It makes me just as angry and upset as hearing a pregnant woman complaining about how horrible her pregnancy is when I would endure ANYTHING to be pregnant and carry it to term.

PART IIII You probably see where I am going with this, and NO, I do not want to hear ANYTHING about adoption. Google search "what not to say to an infertile woman" before saying what I, and every other woman, have heard a million times before: "Why don't you just adopt a child who needs a home - there are so many of them?" Really, do it. Look it up, and you will see that adoption usually tops the list. It is not the same, and no, it is not that easy to just go adopt a child. It is a long, grueling, painful process, and a lot of good people often get turned down. Also, it is not for everyone. Some people want a child with daddy's eyes and mommy's nose, and that's OKAY. It's OKAY, it DOESN'T make me a horrible person, and I don't want to hear about how if I wanted it bad enough then I would adopt; again, it's a great option for some, but not for all, and you can't possibly understand that until you have been through what I, and other infertile women, have been through. ^ Sorry, just wanted to state this because it never fails that when I talk about my pain, someone always tells me to go adopt, and I don't feel like hearing it for the billionth time.

PART V Anyway, for me, Mother's Day is a big, fat slap in the face. I can't read a magazine, watch television, or listen to the radio for the better part of the month leading up to this dreadful day without having advertisements for it shoved in my face. I already have a hard enough time with going to the store because every time I do, I am surrounded by pregnant women and babies. Yes, this is every day of my life, not just Mother's Day month, or "Hell Month," as I like to call it. I have to have my husband do the shopping now because I break down every time I see one of said mothers and/or babies. I have had to run out of a store, abandoning my cart with everything in it, on more than one occasion when I got stuck behind a mother cooing over her newborn in line. Restaurants? Forget about it. Malls? HA! I cannot enjoy leaving the house no matter what I want to do. I didn't have to read this, but morbid curiosity forced me to continue when I noticed that you were not an infertile woman talking about the pain that this dreadful day brings you. How it's not like Christmas, where if you're Jewish then you don't have to participate; rather, this holiday excludes you and makes you feel insignificant because it intends that mothers are more valuable than those of us without working "parts." You... You talk about how you just want a break from motherhood on Mother's Day? Really?