10 Things I Desperately NEED for Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is just around the corner. Since my day never really goes the way I want it to, I thought I would spell it out for my family this year. What do I want? A day off, thank you very much. This year, I'm taking Mother's Day back. Here's what I will be doing ...

More from The Stir: Get Me an Edible Arrangement for Mother's Day & You'll Be Sorry

1. Not to be woken up. Chances are, I’ll be up well before 7, but I want to at least try.

2. Not to pick out clothes. I don’t care what the children wear -- they can be mismatched, filthy, and stained, I just don’t want anything to do with it. 

3. Not to think about dinner. It’s one of the first things I think about every day and it’s frequently greeted by yucks and ewwws. I need a day off.

4. Not to drive anywhere. Unless it's the spa. That I could deal with.

5. Not wipe a single nose or wipe crusty food off of a face.

6. Not to bathe the children. It’s my least favorite task, hands down. 

7. Not to be in charge of bedtime. Yes, I want to snuggle with the kids. I will sing them my '80s medley of lullabies and maybe even read a book or two, but I don’t want to deal with the million whines and calls long after I have tucked them in.  

8. Not having to load/unload the dishwasher. Let's just use paper for the day, because I'm pretty sure nobody else in the house is capable of this one.

9. Not to play referee. I’ve never much enjoyed sports, anyway. 

10. Not to wipe a single ass.

 

What do YOU want for Mother's Day?


Image via Scary Mommy

behavior, clothes

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Shandi80 Shandi80

Who needs birth control with this article?



Seriously though, hope you get the rest you need. :)

craft... craftycatVT

About #10, does that include your own? Because that might be asking a bit much.

nonmember avatar CrystalMP

Haha I won't be using the real plates and cups until long after the kids have moved out. I sound like a terrible tree hater but dishes along with the fact that I usually don't find my plates until I need a hazmat suit to pick them up and all of my cups have been buried in the dog yard for quite some time now lol

Todd Vrancic

Henry VIII had a "Groom of the Stool" who was a noble whose job it was to wipe him after he went.  So, craftycatVT, it's not exactly unheard of, but you'd have to be an absurdly entitled Tudor Royal to have one.  My source for this bit of obcure information is a series of specials I saw on the History Channel called "The Worst Jobs in History."  You're welcome:).

Iris0409 Iris0409

I hate Mother's Day... lol. I always lead up to it thinking about how nice it'll be to feel appreciated and taken care of all day, but then I remember that Cinderella has to be home from THAT ball at around 9 a.m. My Mother's Day begins and ends with breakfast in bed, which I have to buy for myself and leave strict instructions for :)


After that it's getting everyone ready and off to church, and then scrambling around to get the house clean and dinner ready for my mom while my husband takes off for the rest of the day to take his own mom out. It sucks. It's harder than a normal day. And this year I'm 9 months pregnant and will be due any minute (if I even make it that far lol).

Felip... FelipesMom

This was hilarious, thanks! Peeing in peace is such a luxury, isn't it? :o) But on a serious note, what I want for Mother's Day is just to snuggle my little one...

the4m... the4mutts

I want to not choose what I get for mothers day, and whatever I get to not SUCK. Every year, I ask for something very reasonable, 90% of it is free or cheap, and I've never gotten anything, or had anything done for me.

The first time my now ex-husband got me something, was last year. We've been divorced 3.5 years btw.

MsRkg MsRkg

I'm with Iris0409...I personally hate mother's day.


My husband and son, bless their hearts, treat me absolutely wonderful on Mother's day, but the mess at the end of the day isn't worth it. Without fail , they insist on making me some overly elaborate breakfast in bed and leave the kitchen a wreck. Then they lead me with a rose petal and glitter trail on the floor (another headache to clean, because only a man would think of putting glitter on carpet) to the master bath where I theres a bubble bath waiting with about 40 different scents and more glitter everywhere. Then after that, I can't even attempt to start to organize because its off to do something outside (shopping, museum, etc). At the end of the night its a rush back home to get dressed and then go out for an expensive dinner, where we don't get back until late, where I have to get my son settled in bed (a process in and of itself every night) , and then and only then do I get to clean, if I even have the energy cause hubby is usually passed out in bed and is of no help.Lol.


They have good intentions, but I would personally be much happier with a card and a bouquet of flowers and just going about our day as usual with nothing extra special.

KBW2 KBW2

I would not be able to not pick out my kids clothes. I have a definite control issue w doing that, although I give them choices. But I have to be in charge and I know I bring lots of stress on myself by not letting go-- totally my own fault.

Todd Vrancic

I know that a few guys read this, so I will give them this advice:  Husbands, boyfriends, listen to what your lady says.  If she says she wants a card and a bouquet, get them for her.  If she wants you to make her dinner, clean the kitchen afterwards.  If she asks for something practical, like a new vacuum cleaner, it doesn't hurt to give it to her with chocolates or flowers.  The gift doesn't have to be huge or expensive if you show that you listen to her and think about what comes after the dinner (dishes).  Trust me, part of the gift of making your lady dinner (or breakfast) is making sure your lady doesn't walk into a kitchen that looks like a tornado hit it.

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