One of the things no one ever tells you about becoming a parent is just how hard the transitions will be. The first time I dropped my 2-year-old at her half day of daycare (one day a week!), I sat in the car sobbing. But it isn't just the first time, either.
I cry when my kids go back to school after spring and summer break. I cry when they sleep in big boy/girl beds and learn to hold their spoons. This stuff is hard for moms (and dads) no matter what. But kindergarten? Whoa Nellie! No one ever tells you how hard that will be.
Articles like this one about the new pressure in kindergarten suggesting that childhood is becoming truncated and kindergarten is no longer fun don't really help either. I want my baby to stay a baby! And I am not alone.
There is not a mom I know who isn't freaking out over kindergarten in one way or another. I swore I would never be that mom, but here I am, totally freaking out.
It started last November when I became convinced that we should shell out $24,000 a year on our daughter's tuition to a private school. With one right behind her, it would be $48,000 soon enough. But no matter! My daughter must go there!
Once some good friends who are educators talked me down (not before I shelled out $500 in application fees and countless hours on school tours), it became clear: my problem wasn't public school. It was me. I didn't want to let go of my baby.
Sure, articles saying that kindergarten is a pressure cooker and creative kids with lots of energy don't fare well scare me. But that is their intention. They want to scare parents. But they don't need to. We are already scared and the fear is real. It's there behind every tense smile when someone asks me: "What are you doing about kindergarten?"
The other parents and stand around on playgrounds, discussing our school choice (our city has a "choice" program), and every time a parent says they made a different choice, I question my own. Meanwhile, I know they are all doing the same.
The problem isn't the school or the many scary articles or even public versus private. The problem is scores of moms and dads who aren't quite ready to let go of their babies.
And who can blame them? It seems like just yesterday we were changing their diapers and nursing them and rocking them to sleep. Now we are about to send them out in the big, bad world. How will they fare? Will they be happy? Feel loved? Learn to love education? Get enough time to play and still be kids?
And now I am crying all over again. Of all the transitions I have been through with my 5-year-old, this one is the hardest and I know I am not alone. It's the dirty little secret of kindergarten (and the months before it). Beware mamas (and daddies), it's coming for you, too.
Did you freak over kindergarten?
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Comments 22
I totally get it. I have an 18 month old, and I'm already worried about the pressures (and homework! GAH!) of Kindergarten. To the point that I have already decided that if a teacher is too mean and strict with my 5 year old, I'll totally homeschool. That being said, I don't know if I"ll ever be willing the shell out $24k for a kindergarten education (espeically since the public schools near us are excellent). And I like to think that the difficulties of kindergarten are greatly exaggerated. Ultimately, I think my daughter will do great when the time comes, and while it'll be sad to send her to school, I think she'll have so much fun, that it'l make us all happy.
But I also am not a worry wart about change.
I get happy, I get overwhelmed, but I don't sit an do the "what ifs" when it comes to milestones like new schoold
Sorry, the problem is not JUST moms and dads. Kindergarten these days really is too much. And the private schools often aren't much better.
There are kids in that class that are 6, and still don't know their ABCs, and piss their pants. How is kindergarten too hard?
No I didn't freak out over Kindergarten. My son was estatic to go and there was no big set of tears, from him or I, as I watched him walk into the classroom. Kindergarten is also NOT too much. My son goes to an excellent private school in NYC and is way beyond his academic levels. I'm glad that there are teachers and schools that push and thrive for excellence. His kindergarten class is not a glorified play center, like so many of the public school classes are, not to hate on all public schools because some are better than others. However at his school he actually learns concepts about reading , math, and introductory sciene, in addition to having some fun recess time.
When I was in K I never went pre K all we had to do is ABCs and 123s and socialize with other kids and color in the lines. Now they want them to learn math and start reading and other things. I'm honestly comtemplateing putting my two year old in pre K just so he is up to speed with the other kids.