Kids are so adorably, impulsively, inconsiderately cute. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to pick Girl Child up from school or dance practice or church school or summer camp and watched her come barreling from afar with another little girl in tow, grinning and bustling along with that urgency that quickens the step of someone who’s about to put her mother in an awkward situation. And then, the inevitable question: “Mommy, can this-child-who’s-standing-right-here spend the night? Pleeeeease?” Punctuated with big, doey eyes and electrifying smiles.
I love having all of the girls over (and my godson, Arian, who also comes to DC from Philly to hang out with us throughout the year). But I’ve had to let parents know that once their kids are in my care, I’m going to treat them just like they’re mine. That includes a set of ground rules that apply to everyone, visitors and regulars alike:
Don’t take more than you’re going to finish. I hate, hate, hate when children waste food. Let it be known if you come to my house, Miss/Auntie/Mean Ol' Lady Janelle is going to make you eat whatever you take. I remember being on the other side of that—when I was a kid, I thought Cocoa Puffs looked like they were so good, so I begged for them. But alas, when I got home, I discovered they sucked. Too bad for me, because I was at that table sobbing into my cereal bowl every. darn. day. until those bad boys were gone. I thought my mom was the pits for enforcing that rule, but now I see why. She wasn’t working her rump off every day to watch the fruits of her labor be scraped off a plate into the garbage, and neither am I.
Mind your manners. I’m a stickler for politeness, so I expect everyone to act like they have home training. If they don’t, I bet they will by the time they leave. Our old neighbor downstairs had a daughter a few years younger than Girl Child who used to come up and play and hang out when she was there visiting with her dad. And as soon as that man closed the door to ease on back to his bachelor’s paradise, girlfriend would cut up like she’d never been taught right from wrong. She was a bit of wild child. As a result, she got parked on the sofa and put on time out just like she was another Harris kid. She must not have hated it that much because she kept coming back like clockwork and eventually, got the hang of having good manners, no prodding needed.
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Comments 21
I liked the majority of these rules but my mother forced me to eat food that I would not have chosen to put on my plate and when I got sick she would then punish me for that. I don't force my children to eat anything but i do ask them to be mindful of what is on thier plates.
I agree with the other things that you say here.
I understand what you mean about wasting food. If they wish to try something at our house that they have never had before, I first make sure that they have no allergies to the ingredients, then let them take a small portion to see if they like it. If they don't, they don't have to finish that. If they take a whole lot, they have to at least attempt to finish it, if not they can put it in the fridge for later. To insist that children make a good faith effort to finish what they have served themselves is not unreasonable.
I think the point of the eat what you take rule is they learn not to take too much. You can ask for seconds, if you are still hungry, but don't waste. I doubt she is force feeding these kids. I agree totally with the manners/following the house rules. I bet it can be hard with the parents sometimes though, when you tell them their kid had time outs or whatever. Some parents dont like when others discipline their kids.
There are 2 options for dinner in our house: Take it or Leave it.
As far as the rules, I do the same 2rules as I see here.
If you ask for it, I let you try it. If you still want it, you have to make an effort to eat. I won't let them take 2 bites, see something they'd rather be doing, and dump their food in the trash.
I also dicipline other peoples kids, with time outs/loss of toys/ whatever.
Another rule I have in my house for all kids, is bedtime means GO THE HELL TO SLEEP. If they are not asleep at a reasonable time, I am not adverse to calling their parents to come get them.