Big Kid

First we drew our claws and took a swipe at the Tiger Mother. Then we met the Dragon Mom. And now it is time to meet The Hunger Games Mother. Come on, you were expecting her, weren't you?

Technically she's not a "she" so much as she is a satirical commentary on the latest trend in American parenting delivered this past weekend by The New York Times. We are desperate to latch on to anything and call it a parenting trend. And yet, Bruce Landy's description of a mother who uses the kids killing kids story of The Hunger Games to perfect a balance of "cruelty and indifference" to raise a child crosses the line from too crazy to be true to so crazy we wish it weren't. Most of us know her as the "raising a sneaky, manipulative little brat who will do anything to beat the other kids" mother. You get where I'm going with this, don't you?

Here's hoping you aren't a Hunger Games mother. But you've probably been thrown under the bus by one. Take a look at some more common-place, real-life examples of Hunger Games Mothers that I (and parents I surveyed) have encountered and see if you recognize one in your neighborhood.

The Hunger Games Mother:

1. Gets a call from the teacher who says her daughter is the class mean girl ... and can't wipe the s&*t-eating grin off her face because she's so proud.

2. Volunteers to take the kindergarten lottery paperwork of several works-outside-the-home moms with her on sign up day, then "accidentally" loses it the day of so their kids miss out on the "good" teacher.

3. Raises holy hell with the school administration when her child's teacher assigns a group project because her child can't be expected to work with other kids.

4. Encourages tattling.

5. Ignores the giant warning asking parents to actually make their children make their own fundraising sales instead of taking the form to work. Her baby is going to get that prize for most donuts sold, goshdarnit.

6. Thinks the bullying epidemic is just a sign that today's kids are a bunch of pansies.

7. Is the most active troll on the local mom messaging board. Naturally she breastfed longer than anyone, and had the baby who slept through the night earliest.

8. Somehow manages to make your kid look bad when it was her kid who sucker-punched yours.

9. Is the reason the local Easter egg hunt had to be cancelled.

10. Has petitioned for either: 1) getting rid of the "participation" trophies in youth soccer or 2) forcing tryouts at the t-ball level.

What shenanigans has the Hunger Games Mother in your 'hood pulled?

Image via TheHungerGamesMovie.com