Moms Need to STOP Calling Each Other These 9 Dirty Names

Rant 148

mom and babyI adore being a Mommy, on most days, but the terms that some people use to refer to us can be pretty condescending. But maybe they just don't realize how insulting they're being.

Allow me to clear it up a bit.

Let’s start with the word that I hate the most, and I do not use it ever. This is my instantaneous, see red, fighting word. There is only one that's worse, but I can't use it in the presence of you ladies.

Sanctimommy: Holy shit! This word is dripping with angst. It supposedly is in reference to a sanctimonious mom, a holier than thou mom, if you will. Translation: Her shit doesn’t stink. Bree Van de Kamp, is that you? A mom calling another mom by this dreadful name is as horrific as a man calling a woman a bitch. Either way, do not EVER call a mom by this term. If she’s raising and loving kids, she deserves way more respect than to be called by such a despicable term.

Soccer Mom: Seems innocent enough, a mom of a lovely child who plays soccer. However, it infers a crazy, sideline screaming, overbearing monster who is obsessed with her child. Not nice.

M.I.L.F.: Really? How disrespectful is it to call the females who perpetuate the species by a name that infers nothing more than a sperm receptacle. Worse still, they’ve sold us this B.S. and we actually feel flattered to be called M.I.L.F. I’ve got a word for people who use this word: Disrespectful! Would you want someone thinking of your mama as a M.I.L.F.? A saint maybe but not a piece of a*@.

Dance Mom/Cheer Mom: My girls dance. I am supportive of all their dreams. This is what moms do. I don’t scream at their inabilities. I don’t ask for special treatment for my girls. We go to class. We audition. We show up and we work hard. I support. If boundaries are ever crossed and my daughters are ever put in a compromising position, we quit. Mom should not be used as a dirty word.

Stage Mom: Stage mom infers a crazy lady on the side of the stage, behind the scenes making everybody’s life hell because she thinks her baby is a star. Sing out Louise!

Breeder: This term makes me want to punch somebody in the mouth. I have become pregnant twice and delivered two beautiful, healthy children. I am blessed. I am not a breeder. We are not dogs, used solely for cranking out offspring. It is rude, disrespectful, and reduces women to being vessels of birth and nothing more.

Stay-at-Home Mom: Why do we need to designate where we are when we work or don’t work? Because you stay at home doesn’t make you a better mother than if you work outside of the home. Some women are not afforded the luxury of staying home with their kids all day. It’s not whether you work and where you do it from that makes you a great mom; it’s how much you love your children and the quality of your time together. P.S. SAHMs work; don't let the name confuse you.

Helicopter Mom: Inciting images of hovering, buzzing, and never taking lift-off. Mommies who chew their kid’s food up and spit it in their kid’s mouths so they don’t choke. Mommies who leash their kids. Mommies who never let their babies take a risk. I know it’s supposed to be a negative term, but I embrace it.

Crunchy Mom: I, personally, thought this was a compliment because when I think of “crunchy,” I think of all natural. I think organic foods, homemade baby food, breastfeeding, placenta eating, cloth diaper, co-sleeping, and sling wearing awesomeness. Hell, this is who I want to be.

Bottom line: live and let live. It’s hard enough being a mom. Do we really need to turn on one another and be reduced to calling one another names to make ourselves feel better? We need sisterhood through motherhood. Stop being a judgy mom and stop with the name-calling.

What's the mommy term that you dislike the most?

Image via Genealogy/Flickr

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nonmember avatar hart6

BREATHE, Deborah, before you become Xanax Mommy...

Fallaya Fallaya

AP mom...why do you need a special title?  We are all attachment parenting moms in various degrees.  I practiced babywearing, I held my daughter 24/7 as a baby, I co-slept, etc.  But I didn't need to be referred to as an "AP mom".  In fact, I didn't want to be associated with the title at all...there are some things that the theory advocates that I definitely do not agree with.

Fondue Fondue

I agree with hart6's comment.  Calm down.  Aren't there more important things to worry about/get worked up over?

sammy... sammyk1976

I'm with hart6 on this one... good lord really? You're going to take offense to being called a "soccer mom"? Jeez... sensitive much?

Katie Thomas

I've never minded being referred to as both a Dance Mom & Cheer Mom, but now that I think about it, I've always had to justify it with "BUT, not one of those CRAZY ones." I've referred to myself as both a MILF & a GILF, but I do see your point. However, I'm sexy & I know it. (Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Yeah)

I admit to being guilty of using "Sancti-Mommy" towards others that were judging my parenting choices, especially those who have young children, & I'm now a grandmother. I feel badly about that. I do try not to judge others, so I think I'll make more of an effort to reply more kindly.

Kim Kiefl-Wiedrich

I never thought of Soccer Mom as some crazy lady on the sidelines, I always thought of it as any mom with kids in sports running all day and evening to games and practices.  A little bit tired mom but not a crazy, sideline screaming, overbearing monster who is obsessed with her child, fanatic that would be the neighbor kids mom. sidesplittinglaughter 

Miyu Shira

I never really thought of being labeled as a mother... I'm just a mom, and maybe a little bit of each of those stereotypes wrapped into one... guess that makes me human.  Seriously, there are way more important things to worry about than what others choose to call me behind my back.


listening to tunes

Rae.302 Rae.302

Hypocrital of you to say women shouldnt call each other "sanctimommies" ...and then you indirectly imply that bree van de kamp is one?

So its okay to call each other sanctimommies just so long as youre passive agressive about it?

"soccer mom" to me always brought to mind an all-american mommy. 2.5 kids, pizza for dinner on fridays...

Rhonda Fomby

Crunchy mom?!  LMBO  How hysterical!  Get over yourself girl!  Most of these names are just to reference the type of mother you might be...I was a working mother and didn't mind being called that.  The only name that should be considered an insult is the MILF.  Soccer Mom could be construed as an insult since Palin (Probably your hero) made reference to it in the 2008 election process.  I would never consider a mother a pitbull...a mama bear protecting her cubs maybe but a pitbull, NEVER.

Rebecca Weerasinghe

I too agree with heart 6... I was actually laughing while reading this. I thought it was half a joke article... While I may agree with some as derogatory most people don't mean it nastily.

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