Nothing in this mouth but toothpasteThe spanking vs. time-out debate is such a hot button topic, we tend to forget there's another discipline technique out there worth debating. Nasty tastes. Would you believe there are parents out there who won't spank their kids but think it's perfectly OK to dab some Tabasco on kiddo's tongue?
Heck, an article over at Nanny Net takes it even further than OK. The way they see it, dosing kids with something that tastes foul is a "better tactic than hitting your child."
Sorry folks, different body parts don't make this different, at all. You can hurt the tongue or hurt the tush, it's still all one big pile of hurt.
I'd say I hate to break it to you, but I really don't. I just hate that people are still fighting for the right to hurt their kids.
Let's get this straight: whether you're using lemon juice, femite, soap, or cider vinegar, you're still causing a child to feel discomfort. Sometimes it's significant, sometimes it's long lasting, but it's always uncomfortable, or you wouldn't be using it as a potential deterrent to begin with. Now what would you do if someone dosed your food with any of those tastes? Would you get angry? Would you feel hurt? Would you be upset?
So why would you want to do this to your child? I don't spank, frankly. And I don't discipline in order to make my daughter feel hurt or angry with me. I discipline because I know she needs to change a certain behavior.
I think the problem is nasty tastes don't leave the same physical scars on a child, and they're easier for a parent to do than spanking. That sounds better, right? No bruise means you "can't be hurting them" ... not really.
Scary to think this, but that may make this an even trickier road! The mom who can feel the sting of smacking her kid on the bottom gets a warning sign to stop! The dad who fears the mark on the butt will be construed as child abuse will back off. But a form of physical violence with no consequences for the adult? Now you're really asking for trouble with boundaries!
How about we just rule getting physical off limits and take it from there? Who's with me?
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Comments 64
@Rhonda - So you're saying my parents abused me by washing my mouth out with soap when I used bad words? Riiiiiiiiiight....*eyeroll* The very loving relationship I have with my parents says otherwise. They spanked me, too, and I never, ever considered the manner in which they delivered spankings to be abusive. I still don't.
I don't understand all the comments about spanking *instead of* teaching. The way I parent I use spanking sparingly AS PART OF TEACHING. They are not mutually exclusive and I am not an abusive parent. Spanking is used as a last resort for a behavior that does not stop with other forms of consequences. First I do a time out and a talk afterwards. Before she apologizes for he behavior I always ask her why she got a consequence and she does always know what got her in the trouble. Then after she tells me what, then ask her to apologize to me. Usually this takes care of the problem. But not always.
The next time the behavior occurs (say biting or hitting) I will spank her, especially if it is done the same day as she already got a consequence. After the spanking I tell her I love her and that she'll have a time out again. Then we repeat the above process. She is aware of her choices at 4 years old and I am teaching her to stop and think before she acts. This is not abuse, this is how you grow your children up to understand their choices have consequences -- both good and bad.
Sorry. Not with you. I was spanked (rarely) and if I said something naughty or disrespectful I got my mouth washed out with soap. I can definitely tell you I only needed these things to happen just a few times before I learned that the consequences were definitely not worth it. I use the same tactics with my boyos and you can bet they've learned the same thing. Causing discomfort is NOT abusive. Letting my children run rampant without a thought to consequences or to the people around them. That is abusive.
I was spanked and I had my mouth washed out with soap growing up. I don't really see the big deal with either. I made the choice to only spank my daughter when she did something super dangerous and I needed to shock her. So far (she's six) it has happened three times. All three times she ran in dangerous places (street, busy parking lot). I haven't had to use soap in the mouth yet, but I have no problem with it.
Also, I don't know if this just makes me evil, but when she was a baby I gave her a lemon wedge in a restaurant to entertain us during a long wait for food. It worked. She kept sticking it back in there, and making faces, so it must not have been too bad...
I'm definitely with you!!
@floridamom- I don't really see where this is a liberal/conservative situation. I agree with you *gasp* but don't really think that this subject has anything to do with her being a liberal or whatever.
Any punishment, not abuse, if applied correctly and in a timely manner, will be effective. Sometimes a little taste of vinegar, or a spanking (not torture!!) can prevent a lifetime of bad behavior and all that it leads to.
Not everyone one is capable of adequately applying physicak punishment, that is when kids get abused. All the posters that say they were spanked or got their mouth washed out with soap, and are not scarred, and love their parents, proves that those parents knew how to apply it to nip bad behavior in the butt. And it does not mean those parents were not educating their children. The problem beggins when it is used in lieu of educating.
Any form of physical punishment will always be controversial.
Some people even put bad tasting things on their breast to get their child weaned. Different strokes I guess.