The other day I was with one of my son's second grade friends. I told him his shoe was untied, and bent down to tie it for him. He looked up at me strangely, said, "I can tie my own shoe," and bent down and did so.
I was impressed, though I know an 8-year-old doing so should probably be a given. So I vowed once again that I'd finally get around to teaching my 8-year-old how to tie his own shoe. Only I still haven't, and apparently I'm not the only slacker parent when it comes to shoelaces.
Among other skills our kids are lacking today, a survey from a British energy company recently found that 45 percent of kids ages 5-13 can't tie their shoes. While that might be alarming to some -- and certainly was to the survey authors who used this and other findings to bemoan that "youths have lost their sense of adventure and lack skills, which older generations take for granted" -- I found it reassuring.
Lisa Belkin at The New York Times does a nice job of rebutting these accusations against our kids and their lack of skills with the host and new impressive things they CAN do these days, calling it "Darwinism at work. The march of time." I couldn't agree more.
Between Uggs, Keens, and Velcro shoes, the only real shoes with laces my son has ever owned have been cleats for sports. His daily routine is the rip and zip and ease of Velcro. Even when it comes to his cleats, there are ways to cheat and avoid that whole dreaded bunny ear business with things like lace locks.
While I suppose he needs to know how to tie shoe laces eventually, it just hasn't been a priority. I'd rather lace him up with double knots myself then send him out to work on his skills at shortstop than sit on the sidelines trying to get him to perfect the perfect knot. Both would be ideal, of course, but sometimes something just has to give. In kindergarten when they worked on it, his little fingers weren't quite dexterous enough, and he quickly grew frustrated. Then they moved on and so did we ... with our life. Call me lazy, but shoe laces have never tied us up, so to speak.
Do I want him to go to college and have to ask someone to tie his shoe? No, but I know one of these days he'll get sick of letting me tie his shoes, and he'll conquer it. I don't think his life will be of any lesser quality in the meantime, and he has plenty of other more impressive skills anyway, like some killer moves he's learned in Brazilian Jujitsu ... where they don't wear shoes at all.
At what age did your child learn to tie his or her shoes? Does this study surprise you?
Image via Jeanne Sager


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Comments 110
Im not surprised at all that kids cant tie their shoes. Most parents work at least 10 hours a day kids spend their time in after school programs or with some alternitve care option...they are learning lots of things but basic skills generally isnt one of them and when parents do get time with their kids they just want to enjoy them and or have to work on undoing some new piss poor habit they have picked up from these programs that you pay ludacrisly for that is suppose to be so great fo them. Allot is expected of children these days at earlier and earlier ages skills like tying shoes are def overlooked in such a busy life style. Also some kids just dont have the attention span or motivation to learn a skill they see no use for....or they are just have other skills and this is a weakness im sure those of you with early shoe tying kids realize they lack in some department....being negative never helped anyone though. I have a newly turned 6 yr old who can tye a knot but still cant tie her shoes, it's not because we havent taught her and gone over it repeatedly it because its hard for her and shed rather put on her flip flops and spend her free time exploring nature. She will learn when its important for her just like everyone elses
I love this post, Julie! And totally agree. Who cares!
my 1st learned to tie her shoes at 3 because she wanted velcro sneakers and I figured she would never learn to tie them if I got velcro shoes. I told her I would buy velcro sneakers once she learned to tie her shoes, so she did. My son is lefthanded so I had his preschool teacher (also a lefty) show him and he learned before he was 4. My baby had to do everything her older sibs did so she learned also at 3. It wasn't difficult to teach them.
It's not that hard to learn to tie shoes. If your kid gets to a certain age and cannot, you can make sure to have them fall in love with a pair of tie shoes. Suddenly, there is motivation, and soon the kids will be tying shoes. I don't think they all have to be pushed at 4 to learn this, we do have velcro and I love it (six kids leaving the house makes me a big fan), but at some point, this is a useful skill. Other things besides shoes require knots and bows. Just saying.
Good luck, and don't let other parents discourage you or tell you that you're wrong!