Think about all the photos you've taken of your kid since they were born. There are gobs of them, aren't there? And I'm going to bet there are at least a few in there that are a little on the embarrassing side ... or will be once they start to bring friends home who are old enough to examine what's on your walls instead of having to be watched like a hawk lest they use a crayon on one of them.
We are there my friends. Kiddo is 6, and on a recent play date, she came running to me, wailing, "McKayla is looking at my butt!"
I was confused. She was wearing a pair of jeans, and there wasn't a speck of dirt on them (amazing considering the crafty feats these two had been up to). What the heck was this kid looking at? And then I peeked in the living room. Where the aforementioned McKayla was giggling at a photo I shot years ago when kiddo was a teeny thing who had stripped down on a hot summer day to help Daddy wash the car.
It's actually one of two "butt shots" if you will on the walls of my house (I'm a photographer on the side). The photos are innocent and sweet -- think the Coppertone baby or something from Anne Geddes. They're hung with pride.
Until that play date, my daughter never made mention of them. She wasn't embarrassed or proud. She was more or less oblivious. Now, suddenly, she's uncomfortable.
And as her mom, I'm uncomfortable with her discomfort. I'm aware that embarrassing the kids is a parent's prerogative. My parents did it. I survived. I've even laughed along with friends when they've talked about some photo they just know they'll have to pull out when their kid brings home the first serious girlfriend or boyfriend (usually a tub is involved, and a buddy from babyhood -- someone is always naked). But there's embarrassing your kids and then there's torturing your kids.
I vaguely remember a photo from my particularly awkward teenage years that I asked my mother to destroy, only to discover she'd passed it on to her own mother. As a teen girl who would later turn to bulimia to counter my discomfort with my body, to use the word "mortified" is putting it lightly. I remember hot tears streaming down my face out of sheer helplessness. It's a feeling I wouldn't wish on anyone, and certainly not my little girl.
I should note that my daughter isn't at that point. She's a 6-year-old girl who was mildly annoyed with her friend giggling. And while I looked like a buffoon in that teenage photo, the arty shots on my walls are more of the "aww, how sweet" variety. But she deserves to feel as safe and secure in her own home as possible, and if a photo of her baby self makes her uncomfortable, that's not really fair, is it? Just so I can get some laughs in?
At the very least, the gorgeous print I had blown up and stretched on canvas at significant expense could be pulled down every time we have visitors ... at least until she's old enough to bring home friends who don't think a baby hiney is hilarious. Hopefully by then she'll be able to see the pictures for the sign of pride they are. Hopefully.
What's the right age for this kind of thing? Will you hide your kids' embarrassing photos at some stage?
Image via Beret Nearing
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Comments 20
MOve them to your bedroom or other space where a child guest won't be welcome.
She isn't embarased by the picture so much as her friend's reaction.
Wow, Little Frogs... we found common ground! I thought the very same thing - place them in your bedroom or your office (if you have one). Or simply take it down for a couple of years, until the embarrassment phase ends. I'm sure you have some equally adorable pics of her that can replace that photo, and isn't it good for our creativity to change our surroundings once in a while?
But, of course, you are well within your rights to whip out the 'naked baby' pics when she brings home her "intended". Mom's perogative trumps, there!!
I agree with above two commenter's. This stage only lasts a short time and it won't hurt to put them away or move them to a more private spot for now. Those photo's over time become very endearing to us.
They are, so far, proud of their "embarassing" pictures, even to friends that see them. Including BF and bootie pitures. They say, so? I was a cute baby. Then they walk off.
Maybe this little girl needs to be taught to have more pride in herself and her family, and not be a follower that cares what other people think.
Or, she could just have a different sense of modesty than your children do. Not all children are comfortable with others seeing them naked; it has nothing to do with pride, and everything to do with modesty.
And obviously if the kid was naked in the front yard, she isn't all that modest. Sounds like she was just upset that her little friend found it giggle worthy.
I think her mother needs to explain to her how to better handle peer pressure of all kinds, and to explain WHY it was a cute picture. Then she might not be so ashamed of it.
I had that picture, me standing naked looking at myself in the mirror. My friends would giggle and my mom would bring it out to embarrass me when I was in high school. I was probably about the same age as my daughter is now, around 9 mo. Now I think the picture is amazing that my mom caught that intimate shot of me when being naked wasn't a big deal and I look damn cute. I did try to recreate the picture with my daughter but she has pjs on. I will not have any naked pictures of my daughter because it scares me what others might think but it's pretty sad that the innocence of naked babies is no longer just that...innocence.
quit tellilng what to do, your not the boss of me.