School Horror Stories Bring Out Parental Fears

on February 9, 2012 at 1:32 PM

girl in a bubble The news has been particularly terrifying for parents of school-age kids lately with case after case of sexual abuse being reported. Recently in Los Angeles a teacher was accused of the most unimaginable sex abuse crimes against children in the classroom; and this week a teacher's aide in New York was arrested for making child pornography on school grounds. I could go on and on, but it's too heartbreaking. What I really want to know is how do we protect our children from evil monsters like this out there in the world? Can we?

I've said before that it's stories like these that will prevent me from ever being a free-range parent. Philosophically I want to let go, but emotionally I can't. Of course, we can't wrap our kids up and bubble wrap, and for most of us, we have no choice but to send them into the schools. But do we really have to just wait and take our chances that they may be a victim? Are there ways we can help minimize their odds without smothering them with our efforts?

These are the questions I play in my head repeatedly. The answers aren't as forthcoming. Experts offer some preventative measures that we all should embrace. Stop It Now offers some tips on talking to children and teens about sexual abuse. They suggest things like using concrete examples of abuse, not forcing children to do things that make them uncomfortable physically (like hugging relatives if they don't want to), and explaining about how adults can trick children into thinking things are okay, but they're not. The organization also lists some warning signs to look for in adults who spend time with children that are helpful.

But is any of that enough? I don't know. I wonder if the families of the victims we see in the headlines did these things. My guess is that at least some of them did, and it still didn't save their children.

The truth is that nothing we do is going to guarantee that our children aren't victims. We can only do so much, and hope for the best -- just like with most aspects of life. It's just all the more difficult when it comes to our kids.

What steps do you take to protect your children?

Image via Nebbish1/Flickr

About the author Julie Ryan Evans

can be found writing from coffee houses wherever she may be. The quality of her days is largely influenced by the seat she nabs and whether a protein plate is available.

Filed Under: a mom's life, elementary school, kid health

Comments (4)

PonyChaser

on Feb 9, 2012 at 2:00 PM

I teach him to trust his own instinct. If he ever tells me "I don't want to be by that person," I don't push the issue. I accept that, for whatever reason, he doesn't want to deal with that individual. I will ask for a reason, and as long as it is something logical (including "I feel weird around him/her") I will accept it.

He knows self-defense. He's enrolled in Tae Kwon Do for many reasons, self-defense is one of them. He also understands the "scream and make a complete ass of yourself" if someone tries to grab him.

The Buddy System. He goes NOWHERE without a buddy (he learned this one in Cub Scouts). He walks alone home from the bus stop, but I can see him, and he knows every neighbor between the stop and our house, and has permission to go to any one of those houses if he feels threatened or nervous.

We regularly role-play, with him and other friends/families, demonstrating situations that may arise, and allowing the kids to work out/practice how they would react.

No, you cannot protect your child in every instance. But you CAN give him the tools to help protect himself.

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NatAndCo

on Feb 9, 2012 at 2:18 PM

I don't often agree with your posts, PonyChaser, but I nodded my head along with everything you said.

KenneMaw

on Feb 10, 2012 at 1:23 PM

PonyChaser - GREATt reply!!! We also emphasis the buddy rule and hammer home the idea of trusting your instincts. We live in a small quiet neighborhood and the kids have been taught frm very early on that if a car is coming down the street, to run up to a house. It is alot of common sense stuff. Talk to your kids and more important, listen to your kids. yes we see terrible things amost everyday, or so it seems, but still, abuse and kidnappings are still very rare. if either of these happen, it is usually done by a family member. So, if you want to protect your kids, marry a GOOD man and not some nutjob or bad boy that you hope to change. If the situation is bad at home - LEAVE.

Nonmember comment from anon

on Feb 10, 2012 at 9:09 PM

I have a close friend whose 3 yr old was molested by a trusted neighbor. I grew up with the neighbor, I trusted him too, everyone did. Anyway he had told the girl that it was a "secret" luckily she told the "secret" so with my young kids (2 and 3 now) I try so hard to drive home the fact that nothing is a secret and it enrages me to no end that my in-laws think its funny to give the kids chocolate or other foods and "keep it a secret" they think I over react but for now, at this age, all I can really do is try to teach my young kids that nothing is ever a secret and secrets are not fun and games.