playgroundIt's the call no parent wants to get. The principal is on the phone to tell you that your little darling has just been a victim of "bad touch" on the playground. You gasp. You shudder. And then you get a hold of yourself. They're 6, just how bad could it be?

About as bad as over-cautious school administrators can make it, it seems. The growing trend of casting innocent kids as sexual deviants officially reached fever pitch for a 6-year-old California boy who accidentally brushed his buddy in the privates during a game of tag. The boy's school decided to suspend the child from school and add a "sexual battery" charge on his permanent school record.

Did I mention it was an accident?

If you're feeling outraged for that little boy today, join the club. What he went through -- including an alleged two-hour grilling in the principal's office -- sounds horrendous.

But let's save some sympathy for the other kid, shall we? I can't help but wonder, was this accident brought to Lupine Hills Elementary School officials' attention by a kid whose parents had done everything right: they sat their kid down for a long talk on good touch and bad touch?

I know I've done it more than once with my own 6-year-old. Ever since she was out of diapers and old enough to understand the concept of keeping her underwear on, we've talked about the right to our own bodies ... and the need to tell a responsible adult if someone touches you in the wrong spot. I want her to know that she can speak up, that she has to speak up for herself because I can't be there to protect her at every moment.

Reading between the lines, it sounds an awful lot like what must have happened in California. A little boy, so well-schooled by his parents in "tell an adult," spoke up. Bravo to him. It's what kids should do: even if it's an accident and they're a little unsure, they reach out to an adult for guidance.

But in this day and age, we've got a lot of school officials who seem unwilling to guide kids. They prefer to go off half-cocked in the name of "protecting children." Instead they victimize innocent kids like the 6-year-old tagger. And just as importantly, they make kids afraid to report a problem the next time!

They're teaching kids they can't trust them to react rationally. That makes me fear for my kid. She has to know she can trust an educator to guide her, not use her question about an incident on the playground to go on a witch hunt.

There are cries today for schools to go back to letting "kids be kids" and stop sexualizing everything. Sadly, there can be kids who hurt other kids, and we parents depend on schools stepping up to the plate when we can't. But there has to be a happy medium here! I think we can make do by talking to the kids involved about good touch/bad touch, maybe calling their parents to let them know they should repeat the talk, and then letting them move on.

What do you think is the best way for schools to approach these cases?

 

Image via Eamonn/Flickr