Wise Tot Explains Why Spanking Doesn't Work (VIDEO)

on January 30, 2012 at 2:09 PM

Hugh Most parents dread their kid going through a hitting phase. It has the potential to make them persona non grata in the playgroup and push their number to the top of the teacher's speed dial. That day came in our house, and I realized I had at least something to be thankful for. We had never used spanking as a form of discipline in our house.

Oh, I've heard my counterparts who practice corporal punishment tell me it doesn't matter. You're the parent, you are therefore allowed to tell your kids to do as I say, not as I do. So far they haven't believed me, the adult, that it makes absolutely no sense to tell a kid not to hit when you hit them.

But have I got an answer for them! His name is Hugh, and he's just a little boy. A little boy who happens to have spilled some truths about disciplining children from the eyes of a child ... right on YouTube. Take a look:

Did you hear that? "If you spank others, the person that you spank can spank you back." How ... logical! And coming from a kid who is supposedly at the age when you don't think these things through, you just listen to your parents!

I've heard plenty of arguments from pro-spanking parents over the years, from the old standard "do as I say but not as I do" to the parents who tell me that this just goes up there on the list of things that are "OK for adults, but not kids" (because somehow hitting someone is now equitable with drinking a beer yourself?). But little Hugh jams up their arguments quite successfully, doesn't he? Because he presents an answer so simple it's hard to argue with his thinking.

That's the rub, isn't it? We want our kids to think about THEIR actions so that we don't have to discipline them. But when we actually discipline them, we tell them to do the opposite: don't think, just accept! And then comes the day when your kid becomes the hitter.

Having been there, done that, and survived the egg-shaped lump on the forehead to prove it, take it from me: when your kid hits you, it's a heckuva lot easier to tell her it's not appropriate when you haven't hit her.

How do you explain hitting to your kids?

Image via Rainbird Video/YouTube

About the author Jeanne Sager

writes articles for The Stir by day, slays closet monsters and bounds through bedtime stories with her elementary schooler by night. Diet Pepsi courses through her veins. The Phineas and Ferb soundtrack reverberates through her brain.

Filed Under: discipline

Comments (19)

RhondaVeggie

on Jan 30, 2012 at 2:16 PM

I really have no idea how people who hit their kids justify it. I honestly don't spend all that much time trying to think like an abusive scum bag, tends to make me queasy. My favorite excuse is "my parents spanked me and I just turned out fine." No, no you didn't. You turned in to someone who thinks it's OK to hit little kids. I'm sure there are plenty of people raised by neonazis and westboro baptist nut jobs and sexual predators who also emulate their parents behaviors and think they're doing just fine.

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parentalrights1

on Jan 30, 2012 at 2:24 PM

Lol you act like every kid who gets spanked turns into a hitter.

Nonmember comment from zizzler

on Jan 30, 2012 at 2:58 PM

my parents spanked all 4 of us kids, but none of us spank our ow kids. My sister in law was never spanked but she spanks her kids daily. This is just my own anecdotal experience, but spanking does not beget spanking. It's also not absurd abuse. Hang out with some foster kids, then you'll know what -abused- kids look like.

Nonmember comment from Ashley

on Jan 30, 2012 at 3:01 PM

This is a tough issue because I can see both sides. I don't think it's reasonable to think that spanking (TRUE spanking, a light slap on the butt) is "child abuse" because that, to me, lessens the seriousness of true child abuse. But I don't think it should be the go-to punishment either because of exactly what this video points out- that it can make a kid think that it's okay to hit if they view someone as being "bad". To me, spanking should be an absolute last resort. Some kids in some situations simply don't respond to time-outs, verbal scolding or being grounded. Spanking, especially if it's not done very often, can make a child understand the seriousness of the situation. I think my parents spanked me all of 3 times growing up, and looking back, I don't blame them. But again, it was because it wasn't something they did very often so it was the only way I knew how serious they were. I never turned into a "hitter" and I certainly am not damaged from the experience. But I did stop being a little sh!t.

Mama2MonkeyBoys

on Jan 30, 2012 at 3:22 PM

Oh for the love of God. A swat on the butt is not "HITTING" your kids. It's called discipline. Some children do not respond to time-outs or taking toys away.
My children understand the difference between "hitting" each other and being spanked because they misbehaved. And they're only 4 and 2. For one thing, when kids "hit" they don't swat each other on the butt, and when we spank we only swat them on the butt.
If you cannot make the distinction, then it's probably for the best that you don't utilize spanking as part of your disciplinary arsenal.
Giving your kid a swat on the butt is a hell of a lot more effective than telling them "No, precious snowflake, please don't knock all the things off the shelves in the grocery store" 67 times.

And for the record, I don't spend my time trying to think like an abusive scumbag either. And comparing spanking parents to neonazis, Westboro church members, or sexual predators is just idiotic.

PS: My parents spanked me, and I did turn out just fine. I grew into a respectful, obedient human being, and my kids will do the same. And if they spank their kids, because that's what works for them, then that's ok with me.

Nonmember comment from shishi

on Jan 30, 2012 at 3:36 PM

If you're not even smart enough to out-fox a toddler to get the behavior you want using your brain instead of your hands, you're just too dumb to even have kids. Please, hitters, stop reproducing.

Iris0409

on Jan 30, 2012 at 3:55 PM

My parents didn't spank me, and I don't spank my kids. It just makes no logical sense to me. I had a very similar issue, though, with my mom and my son - she got really pissed when he pointed his finger at her and made a "mean face" (he's 2 and that's his go-to response when someone makes him mad) and so she pointed her finger in his face and made a mean face and told him not to point his finger at her and make a mean face. You can literally see the wheels turning in his little mind, like a two-year-old version of "wtf?" lol. For the record, he 100% learned it from her in the first place. It was the most absurd thing to watch this unfold.

I equate the spanking thing to be pretty much the same logic, or non-logic, as this. It baffles me to think that hitting my very small child, who has ZERO need for any discipline other than firm guidance to help him make good choices and behave appropriately, would somehow not result in him thinking that hitting people or hurting people is something that you do. It's not.

happynugget6

on Jan 30, 2012 at 4:04 PM

I love the non spankers! We get great entertainment watching their children act like monkeys in a zoo

BriLee

on Jan 30, 2012 at 4:10 PM

I don't spank because I was. First off, I remember being spanked. I remember feeling hurt and scared but I don't remember what I did. Second, what it taught me was to be sneaky and lie if I got caught. So we use other forms of disapline.

But I also wanted to point out this video wasn't very good. It wasn't a little boy explaining it from a kid's perspective but was prompted by his parents with an agenda. It also kept cutting out so who knows what was edited out. Even times when he didn't know what to say they would redirect the question to get their answer. Sorry, I was hoping for some profound insight from a little kid that was amazing. Instead we got what the parents wanted him to say.