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Recently an old high school friend found me on another social networking site. "Hey, girl. Remember me?" she asked. "I was pregnant when we graduated--my daughter is 21." What?! I turned and looked at my 3 year old. Man, do I have a looong way to go.
But as much as I momentarily envied my lost and found friend, I thought about my high school senior 17-year-old self. My 21-year-old self. Shoot, my 30-year-old self. I quickly came to turns with the fact that if I'd had my children a minute before I was really, truly ready, I wouldn't be the mom I am today.
A wonderful babble.com essay explores exactly this issue exactly. "The Parenting Do-Over," an essay about having children 16 years apart, shares what one mom will do differently now that she's a new mom all over again. It's hilarious to read Katie Allison Granju's take on being in labor and on the phone with a whiny teenager at the same time! "Son, if you call me again to ask me this same question while I am trying to get this baby out, you won't live long enough to see your friends any more for the rest of the summer."
Now that women are having children well into their 30's, 40's and sometimes even 50's (!), more moms will certainly identify with this contemporary mommy reality. (For the other side of this coin, check out Cafe Melisa's Pregnancy Buzz post "Having Babies Close Together in Age". )Tell us, do you or a friend have kids more than, say, 10 years apart? What changes have you made in your mothering technique?
Comments (36)
I have a son, now 20, who came into the house one night, with 10 of his buddies. It was my birthday, and of course son didn't have present. Friend asks son what I want, I say, "We'd love to have a baby, but "J"''s sterile and I've had a hysterectomy, and if you all get out of here, we're liable to try again." Of course it embarrassed the kids, both girls and boys.
3 days later, one of the girls came and knocked on the door. She said if we really wanted a baby, that her mom's best friend was pregnant and couldn't keep it and didn't know what to do.
My birthday is the 2nd week in June, and by the 3rd week in September, I was a mom again, and couldn't be more thrilled.
So, my boys are 18 years, 10 months, 3 weeks apart exactly. I'm 42, and the most thrilled mom on earth. I'd tried half heartedly to adopt for years, with no success, and now, we're trying again. This time to adopt!
I do actually have kids 10 years apart. My older 2 are almost 13, and almost 11. My youngest will be 1 December 11!
This is a WONDERFUL story! Thanks so much for sharing.
I have boys that are 20 years apart. My oldest is 24 and my baby will be 4 next month.
I don't know that I'm doing anything different with this one than I did with my first. The first one turned out to be a pretty good guy so why change???
Because of endometrosis, I have a big age difference between my kids. My oldest will be 18 yrs in April, my baby will be 7 yrs in Jan. If I had my way, they would be closer in age, so they would have someone to play with. In a way, they did(are) growing up like an only child.
Moms with kids many years apart...be sure to read this essay!
My daughters are 15 years apart. I'll be the first to admit that I think I'm a better parent this time around. I'm way more relaxed and I have less going on which means I have more time and attention for the little one. With my first child I was so stressed out about doing everything right, plus I worked full-time, went to school, and still had a social life. Now my whole world (outside of work) revolves around playing with the kids and staying home. I'm not so worried about all the small stuff since I know firsthand that it doesn't matter in the long run if they eat a grape off the floor.
I should add, too, that my teen daughter loves having a little sister, but is thankful she got to be an only child for so long. It's the best of both worlds!
My children are almost exactly 18 years apart from each other. My son turned 18 and 10 days later my daughter was born. I love being a Mom and I often tell people God knew I would never let my son move out of the house if he had not given me a chance to do it all again! Tee hee I agree with dsteiner23 I am way more relaxed about everything. I also find myself not worrying if the dishes get done or the house is clean or if everything is perfect because they grow up in the blink of an eye, they really do! So if I am in the middle of dishes and my little one wants to play, the dishes wait. The water can be empited and the dishes can be washed later. One day she will be grown and gone and she will remember the times I played with her not the times there dishes in the sink.
My sister and I are 13 years apart !!! Same parents no other siblings . She wasn't planned my mom didnt think she could have anymore kids after me. The cool thing about it is that my daughter and my sister are 13 years apart as well !!!