Ah, unwanted parenting advice.
We all get it. It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, someone has something to say about it. Something, I should add, that you don't want to hear.
So I've compiled a handy list of things to retort with when someone at the grocery store decides to tell you why you're a bad parent.
"Oh good! I didn't realize we were in a poly-parenting arrangement. In that case, can you please change this diaper?"
"I'm sorry my baby's crying annoys you. Next time, I'll leave her in the car."
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"I should've stopped to think about autism instead of preventing my kid from contracting dangerous communicable diseases!"
"You used the 'cry it out' method? I use the 'vodka in her bottle' method. Works great!"
"Well, we're hoping that we can get a spot on Jerry Springer."
"But I thought Cheetos were a part of a nutritious diet!"
"I'm so glad your child was potty trained at 9 months. I'm just too lazy to bother teaching my kid. I gotta watch my stories, not train the kid!"
"Well, your kids were clearly a more refined, better breed than my own."
More from The Stir: Thwart the Toddler Tantrum: 12 Tips to Try
"Glaring at me while I shop for my groceries is absolutely the way to make my kid stop wailing. Thanks for that!"
"We're just letting our kids raise themselves. They're 'free-range' kids."
What other gems can you give me?
Image via bbaunach/Flickr
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