10 Snarky Responses to Unwanted Parenting Advice

Ah, unwanted parenting advice.

We all get it. It doesn't matter where you are or what you're doing, someone has something to say about it. Something, I should add, that you don't want to hear.


So I've compiled a handy list of things to retort with when someone at the grocery store decides to tell you why you're a bad parent.


"Oh good! I didn't realize we were in a poly-parenting arrangement. In that case, can you please change this diaper?"

"I'm sorry my baby's crying annoys you. Next time, I'll leave her in the car."

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"I should've stopped to think about autism instead of preventing my kid from contracting dangerous communicable diseases!"

"You used the 'cry it out' method? I use the 'vodka in her bottle' method. Works great!"

"Well, we're hoping that we can get a spot on Jerry Springer."

"But I thought Cheetos were a part of a nutritious diet!"

"I'm so glad your child was potty trained at 9 months. I'm just too lazy to bother teaching my kid. I gotta watch my stories, not train the kid!"

"Well, your kids were clearly a more refined, better breed than my own."

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"Glaring at me while I shop for my groceries is absolutely the way to make my kid stop wailing. Thanks for that!"

"We're just letting our kids raise themselves. They're 'free-range' kids."

What other gems can you give me?


Image via bbaunach/Flickr

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