My Son Does Gross Things at School & I Couldn't Be Prouder

on January 19, 2012 at 6:35 PM

julian sticking tongue out
Yuck, barf!Yesterday, on the way home from school, I had a rather disturbing conversation with my 6-year-old son, Julian. This is how it went.

Julian: Today, in my class, this kid barfed like five times.

Me: Oh. Oh ... boy. Well, that's too bad. So, um, you wash your hands before you eat at school, right?

Julian: Yeah, the nurse always tells me to wash my hands.

Me: That's good. Wait, the nurse? Why did you see the nurse? Did you feel sick too?

Julian: No, it's because I'm the person in my class who walks somebody to the nurse when they barf or have a headache and we're supposed to hold hands, so then after we get there, the nurse says to me, "I think you better wash your hands now!"

Me: Oh. Oh ... boy.

That's what I said out loud, anyway. In my head I was screaming, "Hey! How come my kid got stuck with this gig? Why does my son have to be the Official First Grade Barfing-Kid Escort?!"

Here's the thing: I hate barf. Most people do, I suppose. But when everybody in the house gets hit with the same stomach bug? To me, that experience is the definition of misery. The lowest depth of suffering. Oh, the humanity!

So I was less than thrilled to learn about Julian's esteemed position. But of course I couldn't let him see my true reaction. He didn't seem the least bit bothered by his job. What kind of parent would I be to let my own germophobia stand in the way of my son's natural instinct to help the sick? What if someday he wanted to join Doctors Without Borders or something, would I stand in his way then? (YES!! I mean no.)

Plus, I could tell Julian was proud of being the one chosen to shoulder such a responsibility. (Awwww. I'm verklempt!) And then it occurred to me: My kid got stuck with the Official First Grade Barfing-Kid Escort gig because his teacher trusts him. She's taken me aside to praise his listening skills and willingness to cooperate in class several times this year ... I guess if I needed to pick a kid I thought would actually transport his ailing classmate to the nurse without making a detour to the playground, I'd choose my son too.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk Julian into wearing scrubs and a surgeon's mask to school tomorrow.

How would you feel if your kid had this classroom job?

About the author Jacqueline Burt

has written for numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites. She is easily bored and often tired, so she requires constant entertainment to keep her awake. Dance, Monkey! Dance!

Filed Under: elementary school, kid health

Comments (10)

Stacey.

on Jan 19, 2012 at 6:52 PM

I can understand the escort part but holding hands seems unnecessary.

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RhondaVeggie

on Jan 19, 2012 at 7:12 PM

It wouldn't be allowed at our school, kids must be escorted by a faculty member or CORI checked volunteer if they need to go to the nurses office. Your kid might be good company but would he know what to do if the sick child fainted or had a seizure or something? What if they fainted on the stairs? If my kid needs to be taken to the nurses office I'd rather he be accompanied by someone who could catch him or carry him in case of emergency.

acrogodess

Pre-K, kindergarten and 1st grade usually double up and hold hands with a buddy. That includes Mr. Sniffles, Miss Runny Nose, and Mr. Hacking-Cough. Glad your son's teacher trusts him and superrrr glad the nurse makes him wash hands lol

Melissa042807

on Jan 19, 2012 at 7:27 PM

It is slightly disturbing-sounding at first, but you're right, the teacher chose him because he's a trustworthy kid. Which must mean you're doing something right as a mom. :-)

Nonmember comment from Nan

on Jan 19, 2012 at 7:36 PM

Not all schools can afford to have teacher's aids in their classes. A teacher walking a student down to the nurse would mean leaving an entire class of students (sometimes 30+ students) alone for an extended period of time.

amysangelsfcc

on Jan 19, 2012 at 7:53 PM

I think it's great on one hand... such a responsible young man... awww!! However, if my child were to get sick frequently because of his "special job", I think I'd have to ask the teacher to go ahead and let another child have a turn. lol

on Jan 19, 2012 at 7:54 PM

And I agree with Stacey... escort - fine, holding hands - not really needed.

billsfan1104

on Jan 19, 2012 at 8:17 PM

Hahhahhhahhhahha I hate barf too. I make my kids run to the bathroom, because I can't stand it so much.

Kiwismommy19

on Jan 19, 2012 at 10:40 PM

I remember thinking along the same lines when my kid became the buddy of the running away girl. There was a girl who had to wear bells on her shoes and constantly have a buddy (she was still watched by faculty of course, but they have the buddies as an extra precaution and to not have her singled out as the kid needing to hold hands with a teacher all day). Her buddy got changed out on a weekly basis, but when it was Ky's turn, the teacher asked if she could be the constant buddy since they got along so well and she never tried to leave the building. On the one hand, I was a bit iffy about her holding the girl's hand all the time and being responsible for being the one to tell the teacher if she tried leaving. On the other, so proud that they could trust my girl with this other girl, and so proud that she was so proud of having that as her classroom job.

Jerichos_Mommy

on Jan 23, 2012 at 12:12 AM

I am with you on the b word just reading that word makes me want to - you know. That said it is great your son is seen as being that responsibleand that the nurse makessure he washes his hands.