5 Reasons Lesbians Make the Best Parents


lesbian momsLast spring, while I was watching my son play baseball from the sidelines, one of the other mothers I was sitting with admitted she sometimes felt jealous of the many lesbian parents raising children in our neighborhood. "Imagine raising your children with another mom," she said, eyes wide with wonder and envy. "How great would that be?" We all knew what she meant. Most of us thought our husbands were great dads, but the idea of sharing parenting duties 50-50 with another mom? That sounded like parenting nirvana.

A new study proves my baseball-mom pal may have been onto something: Kids raised by lesbian parents are not only as happy and well adjusted as those raised by heterosexual parents of opposite genders, they also fare better in certain situations, such as in the case of the parents' separation or divorce.

So do lesbians make the best parents? I think you could make a pretty compelling case for it. Here are five reasons that may well be true:

1. Their children are wanted: It's not like lesbians generally get pregnant accidentally -- or even without a great deal of forethought. The children of lesbians are wanted and prepared for. That counts for a lot, in terms of parenting commitment.

2. Their children learn tolerance, open-mindedness, and gender-parity early: Kids who are raised in lesbian households are exposed right away to the idea that all families don't look the same, that people sometimes make judgments that are not right and not fair, and that tasks and behaviors sometimes thought to be gender-specific or gender-determined often are not.

3. Their children may learn early to stand up for what is right: Although it may be hard to see a bright side of children being teased for having families that are "different," it may help them learn to take a stand for what they believe in and what they know to be true and just. 

4. Their marriages were hard-won: Let's face it, many of us straight parents take marriage -- and the benefits that it can provide -- for granted. Gay couples have worked hard for the right to marry in some states. Though the research shows that heterosexual and same-sex marriages don't fundamentally differ in terms of commitment and satisfaction, I would contend that having two parents who are keenly aware of the benefits of marriage and commitment can only work to a family's benefit.

5. They can share the worry and mom-guilt equally: I can't speak for you, but in my household, although my husband and I share parenting duties pretty equally, I carry darn near 100 percent of the worry and guilt load. It is me -- the mother -- who wakes bolt upright in the middle of the night in a fit of panic for forgetting the school field trip or afterschool registration or birthday-party RSVP, while my husband blissfully sleeps through the night. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night and finding your fellow mom also awake and concerned -- and taking action. Yeah, see what my baseball-mom friend meant?

Do you think lesbians may well make the best parents?


Image via xtopher1974/Flickr



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i.hea... i.heart.nerds

I think it's bull. That's like saying all short woman make the best mothers.

And FYI, there are many heterosexual families who work hard and suffer to have children, it doesn't make them better parents.

Antiq... Antiquehorses

This is just stirring the pot. You know who make the best parents? Happy parents. Parents who know how to show and receive love. Parents who do the best they can and are secure with themselves. Be they gay,straight,asexual, whatever.

nonmember avatar Liz

Geesh. She's not trying to take away from heterosexual parents, she's just pointing out the benefits of lesbian mothers, because SO many people try to suggest lesbian and gay parents are not good parents, strictly based on their sexual orientation.

Mrs.C... Mrs.Crain

AMEN Antiquehorses!!!!

Stacey. Stacey.

I think parents who love and relish their roles as parents make the best parents.

Also the whole "mom-guilt" thing.....uh ya....dads get that too. Maybe your hubby doesnt get it, but fortunately your hubby does not represent all dads, and isnt that the point you were making when you said "and that tasks and behaviors sometimes thought to be gender-specific or gender-determined often are not."?

starr... starrsitter

I don't really know why it's so surprising that people who have children on purpose (regardless of their sexual orientation...although there is a fairly low rate of unintended pregnancy in homosexual couples, I imagine) treat them well and make effective parents.

nonmember avatar Eleven

I'm so glad that I was raised by normal people.

AyaTa... AyaTachihara

Why can't anyone just listen to an argument FOR same sex parents without taking offense to it? No one said that hetero parents aren't great parents, just that there are alot of good things about having two moms. It's just more proof that these idiots screaming that same sex couples hurt family dynamics are morons. It's a new era, people. Families come in all shapes and sizes. I'm glad that the effort of same sex parents is being lauded. I am a member of a "conventional" family but I applaud the people who see beyond the norm.

nonmember avatar Cee

Just because I'm a lesbian wont mean that I would make the best parent. I will be the best parent because I am financially stable, I want my child, I plan to feed, cloth, bathe, educate, love and care for it...like ALL parents, gay or straight should.

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