25 Ways You Know You're Such a Mother

Being a Mom 160

A few months ago, I was in the grocery store roaming the bread isle. Wheat, white, pita, English muffins ... Boring, boring, boring. And, then I spotted it: Goldfish Sandwich Bread. There, right in between the milk and the exotic food aisle, I squealed. Bread, in the shape of a giant Goldfish cracker?! My kids would be psyched!! This was the best trip to Safeway EVER!!! Wooo-hooo!

And, then it hit me: I am such a mother. 

I asked my friends for their "motherhood moments" and the answers made me laugh -- I can relate to every single one ... What about you?

25. Your new accessories consist of boogers, spit up and pieces of food on your outfit.  -- Monica

24. Your kid starts to throw up and you hold out your hands to catch it because you're no where near the toilet. Then you hold the crying child, getting barf in your hair and that's the least of your concerns. -- Amy

23. When going grocery shopping alone is considered "Me time" -- Lizette

22. You quietly wipe a butt (and remember to not flush!) while on a business call. --- Laura

21. Your six year old daughter has more shoes and a cuter wardrobe than you. -- Patti

20. You pick someone else's boogers and it's no big deal. -- Melissa

19. You actually like driving a mini van. -- Jody

18. When you know 1 million things to clean with BABY WIPES! -- Diana

17. When you feel the need to stick a bottle in the mouth of anyone upset. -- Michelle

16. You carry human teeth in your purse.  -- Penny

15. You just forced them into bed and you've had enough then an hour later you're bawling your eyes out at their baby pics. -- Nermeen 

14. You hold your poop till 11 p.m. so that you can go without an audience... -- Evin

13. ‎"What kind of poop was it?" counts as stimulating conversation.  -- JoAnna

12.  When you jam out to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song while driving and realize you just dropped off the little one at daycare. -- LeKisha 

11. When you have extra underwear and leggings and emergency fruit snacks stashed in your purse and glove compartment at all times! --- Kathryn

10. You can do 6 different things at the same time.  -- Donna

9. You hear a kid going bananas in public and as soon as you see it's not yours, you're thrilled.  -- Stacey

8. Walk out of the house, realize there's poop on your shirt, and scrape it off with your nail instead of going back inside to change. -- Erin

7. When you hear someone else's newborn do her little gurgle cry and you think "awww, I wish I could hold her" rather than "OMG make it stop!" -- Brandy

6. You are more likely to find cheese sticks, diapers and yogurt in your purse than a mirror. -- Liana

5. You spent half the day with a "You Went Potty!!!!" sticker in your hair and no one told you. -- Tiffany

4. You have embraced the fact that an uninterrupted nap excites you more than uninterrupted sex. -- Kimberly

3. You clench your nether regions just before a sneeze so you don't pee. -- Kelly

2. You eat a rogue Froot Loop off the floor and never think twice. And you don't even look around to see if someone's watching. -- Susan

1. The last thing you do on a vacation is relax.  -- Kimberly


How did you know you were a mother?


Image via Scary Mommy

behavior, independence


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cklas... cklassen12

My son is only 8 months old and I've done a lot of these...but the best thing is...I read this last night and loved it..then today it being totaly out of the blue and not even about this...I noticed poop on my shirt and I wiped it with a wipe then smelled it and was like "Oh just poop" Then went on with what I was doing...then I went and told my husband that I've been walking around with poop on me for a while, laughed about it and continued to not change yet...then all the sudden it hit me and I remembered this from last night and had a nice Laugh out Loud moment with myself...THEN I changed lol

nonmember avatar Mini's mommy

when i started loving my daughter's poop smell just because she was going potty regularly without any issues hurting her.

Saphi... SaphiraJFire

somone sees a spider and your not the one screaming your the one running to the rescue and killing the evil beast! lol

lifelove lifelove

...when you visit the drive-in at the bank and you're more concerned about getting the right number of courtesy lollipops making an accurate deposit.

nonmember avatar Vivien

Smelling someone's butt is such a gross action but now i do it so often n in full public view without 2nd thoughts.....just to check if my baby farted or pooped!

chely... chelyn.v2009

Now I can also write, type the keyboard and navigate the mouse with only my left hand because being the mother of an infant means you have to do things while carrying your baby.

3Boyz... 3Boyz2Luv

Some of these are so me. I'll find myself on the couch after ds has gone for a nap wanting to take a break and watch tv- then realize ten minutes later I'm watching Nick Jr. Then this weekend I had the option to stay out of town an extra night in a great hotel but ended up driving six hours to come back home because the guilt was eating me alive. Sigh.

lrslieea lrslieea

These are water too funny number 14 is so me!!! It's too cute lol

katie... katie_c25

You know you are a mother when you no longer care about the audience while going to the bathroom.

When your daughter gets in trouble and you are less upset about what she did than the fact that i means you have to turn off iCarly

nonmember avatar Justme

Am I the only who doesn't think this is funny at all? I mean...it just kind of dumbs down mothers and women. As I read each one I kept thinking "nope, nope, nope." When I see newborns I don't want to hold it - I thank God mine is out of that stage. Like just because I am a mother my life is so revolved around my child I don't even have a mirror in my purse and I wear a shirt with poop? Really? Give me a break.

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