25 Ways You Know You're Such a Mother

Being a Mom 160

A few months ago, I was in the grocery store roaming the bread isle. Wheat, white, pita, English muffins ... Boring, boring, boring. And, then I spotted it: Goldfish Sandwich Bread. There, right in between the milk and the exotic food aisle, I squealed. Bread, in the shape of a giant Goldfish cracker?! My kids would be psyched!! This was the best trip to Safeway EVER!!! Wooo-hooo!

And, then it hit me: I am such a mother. 

I asked my friends for their "motherhood moments" and the answers made me laugh -- I can relate to every single one ... What about you?

25. Your new accessories consist of boogers, spit up and pieces of food on your outfit.  -- Monica

24. Your kid starts to throw up and you hold out your hands to catch it because you're no where near the toilet. Then you hold the crying child, getting barf in your hair and that's the least of your concerns. -- Amy

23. When going grocery shopping alone is considered "Me time" -- Lizette

22. You quietly wipe a butt (and remember to not flush!) while on a business call. --- Laura

21. Your six year old daughter has more shoes and a cuter wardrobe than you. -- Patti

20. You pick someone else's boogers and it's no big deal. -- Melissa

19. You actually like driving a mini van. -- Jody

18. When you know 1 million things to clean with BABY WIPES! -- Diana

17. When you feel the need to stick a bottle in the mouth of anyone upset. -- Michelle

16. You carry human teeth in your purse.  -- Penny

15. You just forced them into bed and you've had enough then an hour later you're bawling your eyes out at their baby pics. -- Nermeen 

14. You hold your poop till 11 p.m. so that you can go without an audience... -- Evin

13. ‎"What kind of poop was it?" counts as stimulating conversation.  -- JoAnna

12.  When you jam out to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song while driving and realize you just dropped off the little one at daycare. -- LeKisha 

11. When you have extra underwear and leggings and emergency fruit snacks stashed in your purse and glove compartment at all times! --- Kathryn

10. You can do 6 different things at the same time.  -- Donna

9. You hear a kid going bananas in public and as soon as you see it's not yours, you're thrilled.  -- Stacey

8. Walk out of the house, realize there's poop on your shirt, and scrape it off with your nail instead of going back inside to change. -- Erin

7. When you hear someone else's newborn do her little gurgle cry and you think "awww, I wish I could hold her" rather than "OMG make it stop!" -- Brandy

6. You are more likely to find cheese sticks, diapers and yogurt in your purse than a mirror. -- Liana

5. You spent half the day with a "You Went Potty!!!!" sticker in your hair and no one told you. -- Tiffany

4. You have embraced the fact that an uninterrupted nap excites you more than uninterrupted sex. -- Kimberly

3. You clench your nether regions just before a sneeze so you don't pee. -- Kelly

2. You eat a rogue Froot Loop off the floor and never think twice. And you don't even look around to see if someone's watching. -- Susan

1. The last thing you do on a vacation is relax.  -- Kimberly


How did you know you were a mother?


Image via Scary Mommy

behavior, independence


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toria... toriandgrace

I cannot possibly be the only one who refuses to walk around with poop or puke on me. The rest are pretty funny.

bandg... bandgeek521

Haha, number 15 is me, completely :)

Leiam... LeiamsMommy

I relate to most of these lol..

when I have me time with my friends all I want to talk about are my kids. I have to catch myself and just hang out sometimes

issia... issianemmi

When you go out on a family outing, you know where every bathroom is just in case

L1558 L1558

Funny, but NONE of them are me.


You might also want to call this "25 Ways You Know You're A Mom ...of Little Kids".

After your kid is preschool / school age, most of these don't apply. ;o)

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

Oh my goodness I've soooo done the catching puke with my hands. Super gross.... motherhood is super gross lol

nonmember avatar 0caramel0

When your out in public and can uncode other kids cries!! Like "uh oh.. Sounds like someone needs a nap" "someone sounds hungry" " someone didn't get the toy they wanted!" Lol

Also I've started fight with dh for just suggesting I bring a baby with me grocery shopping.. That sometimes feels like the only shopping me time I get!! Lol

tinyp... tinypossum

I can relate to ALL of them, except #6. I'm not wearing a poopy shirt anywhere. 

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

When you stand in an airport bathroom making faces at a toddler having a diaper change after a blowout because the mom looks like she's about to have a nervous breakdown while the non-mothers walk by gagging.

When you can giggle at the toddler in the next stall announcing that you just farted because you know the mom is completely mortified having been in her situation more times than you are to think about.

When you hear a baby cry in a store and you start doing the bop and sway to calm them even though they're three aisles away from your arms.

When you can be placed at any point in your local mall and instantly locate the closest comfy nursing spot.

MrsSi... MrsSimonsen

You know you're a mom when you're telling kids to pull up their pants and you're excited about buying yourself a swiffer mop

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