The 6 Moms Who Make Playdates Unbearable (For the Other Mom)

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playground keep outUp until your kids reach a certain age, there's a sort of unspoken rule about playdates. They are all mommy and me. As in at least two moms and two kids hanging out just so your kid can get in their social life. Which is all well and good if you have a bunch of mom friends in your 'hood who you love. But then there are those moms, the ones who make accepting a mommy and me playdate with a new family seem like a bigger risk than letting your 6-year-old pick your outfit for the day.

Yes, it's true. I have turned down playdates because I hate the moms more than the kids. But if you saw the list of ladies I'm talking about, here's betting you'd say no too:

1. The One Who Riles Up the Kids: She walks in, spies the kids, and makes a beeline for them. After first whipping a roll of Smarties out of her pocket and passing them around, she then proceeds to get them all worked into a frenzy before finally coming to settle by you. Yeah, thanks a lot. I really needed my dog to spend the rest of the week peeing behind the couch out of utter fear that those two wild 6-year-olds might still be in the living room.

2. The Kids Should Be Seen And Not Heard Mom: Almost as bad as the "makes 'em nuts" mom is the one who brings her kid over, and then throws a hissy when my kid dares come to check in with me because her time with me is being lost. Sorry lady, but unless you come out of my lady parts, you're never going to rate above my kid.

3. The Bragger: It is perfectly acceptable to mention in passing that your smarty pants was nominated to the gifted and talented program. When kids do great things, no one is going to appreciate it quite like another mom. But there's a difference between sharing and rubbing one's nose in it. Not sure where the line is? If your 5-year-old is whipping up his own Hollandaise sauce and bringing you breakfast in bed on a tray with a flower in a jelly jar, please refrain from sharing or you won't be getting an invite back. If I needed someone to make me feel like my life sucks, I'd open a fashion magazine.

4. The Smoker: Sorry, I don't care if you only do it outside. You're not bringing that stank around me or my kid.

5. The Judgearoo: It starts with a running commentary on the toys my daughter brings out of her playroom for her buds to play with. "We would never buy Precious something pink and plastic, we prefer all, natural, wooden dolls that require imagination," she says. Then we settle the kids around my dining room table for lunch, and she proceeds to critique each item procured from my kitchen for the kids to eat. "Cheddar bunnies, really? You know they're still junk even if they're organic," she says.

And finally, the mom who really kills a playdate plan like no one else:

6. The Weirdo: Pretty broad category, I know, and as someone who wholeheartedly embraces her lack of "normalcy," I almost feel bad saying it. But sometimes there are people you just can't bring yourself to hang out with. They're so unlike you that it's painful. Maybe they're really low class, and you shudder to see them around your kids. Maybe they're racist and mean. Or maybe they are just so different from you that you cannot even hold a conversation for 5 seconds.

Since pushing a person out of me, I've learned the universe loves to throw two women together because they have kids . . . as if that's enough. But having a kid didn't change me that much. There are are still some people who just aren't my cup of tea!

How about you? Are there moms who you have found are just impossible to hang out with, no matter how much your kids get along?

 

Image via JanetR3/Flickr

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Ohmys... Ohmyskittles

Totally agree about the smokers, their kid usually smells like smoke too, it's absolutely disgusting.

Elise48 Elise48

I'm definitely #6. Damn.

Jecky... Jeckyls-mommy

I think it's cruel to punish a child for thief parents habits......

zombi... zombimomma

Agree with those ones, and here's a few more:


The Drinker - the mom who drinks wine out of a coffee mug all day and by 4pm is tipsy and seems to be somewhere else. Nothing wrong with a glass of wine at dinner, or after the kids are in bed, but lady....it's NOON, and the kids are playing in the house.


The Hippie - moms who think it's 'cute' to let their kids run around looking like neglected raggamuffins; never teach personal boundaries and let their kids run wild like feral monkeys. When their kids cross a lilne, they wave it off and call them 'free-spirits".  Really. Can you ask your free-spirit to stop jumping on my furniture and opening my cupboards?


The Food  Nazi - the hardcore vegetarian/vegan who pushes their food choices on Junior, and everyone else in the room.I respect your food choices, please respect mine - don't recoil in horror when my kid asks for a tuna sandwhich.


The Drop and Run - the parent who can't wait to dump their kids off on you for as long as they can and takes off to 'run errands' then waits for YOU to call to come pick them up. I'm not a free childcare service.

douxm... douxmusique

The weirdo .... Hmm low class? You must be the judgearoo type...

medic... medicwife

Lol, douxmusique, I was thinking the same thing :)

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

The mom who is soooooo passinate about something controversial that its all she talks about making u uncomfortable and judged in a passive way.

nonmember avatar blh

My mom never came on playdates with me ha....she knew my friends parents of course but still. And I don't plan on going on playdates with my son either. Once or twice to meet the parents but after that no.

sunmo... sunmoonandstar

I'm the weirdo because I'm so shy and awkward.

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