Small Boys Make Big Noise: Where's the Volume Control?

on December 20, 2011 at 8:46 AM

Okay. Can we talk about little boys and the horrible relentless brain-bludgeoning noises they make?

I'm glad we can chat about this via the Internet because if we were sitting down in personl my entire side of the conversation would go like this: "Yes, I—DYLAN STOP SCREAMING. Anyway, the thing is that—RILEY GO IN THE OTHER ROOM IF YOU WANT TO MAKE THAT SOUND. Sorry! As I was—GODDAMN IT YOU TWO I SAID KNOCK IT OFF."

I have this ongoing argument with myself regarding my children's rambunctiousness. Here are my opposing viewpoints:

VIEWPOINT A: "Well, they're only 6 and 3, and it's not like they're fighting—they're having fun, it's just the sort of fun that involves a lot of shrieking and crashing around. They love to roughhouse and no one's getting hurt, so shouldn't I just let them be children instead of constantly yelling at them to simmer down?"

VIEWPOINT B: OH MY ACHING GOD THEY ARE LITERALLY DRIVING ME INSANE.

They aren't badly behaved kids, they're just really, really hyper when they're playing together. I should point out that when they're separated, they are completely different creatures altogether—I receive nothing but glowing reports about the 6-year-old's attentive, obedient attitude in school, and the 3-year-old is charming and mellow all day long until the precise moment when we pick up his brother. As soon as they're reunited, that's when they suddenly start acting like their afternoon snack included 12 frosted donuts washed down with a triple espresso and a 5 Hour Energy chaser.

My children are affectionate, loving brothers, but when they play together, they are basically indistinguishable from feral, hooting rhesus monkeys.

It's less of a problem in the summer, because I can just toss them outside when the noise levels start making my eardrums bleed. However, now that it's pitch dark at 4:30 p.m. and our yard is a sea of mud, I'm finding myself more and more frustrated by the chaos of sharing a small house with such loud, WILD, insanely active kids.

Here's my question for you: how do you deal with kids being, you know, KIDS? I often find that I'm not sure where to draw the line with some of their more obnoxious play habits. I mean, as much as I might occasionally wish they were the sort of children who enjoyed quiet, long-lasting pursuits like working through a 50-page coloring book on a nightly basis, I love them for who they are—and like it or not, who they are involves running, shouting, and making a seemingly endless number of pshew pshew pshew sounds.

So, what's the best way to create some noise/chaos boundaries, ideally so I don't find myself barking at them every single freaking night like I have been lately? Do you use the old inside voice/outside voice command? Do you have a designated play area in the house where rambunctiousness can occur with impunity? Do you chase them around with a broom yelling, "CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD"?

All ideas are more than welcome. While I await your input, I'll just be over here locked in my bathroom listening to Enya on my iPod while whispering serenity now over and over and over.

Image via Linda Sharps

About the author Linda Sharps

lives in the Seattle area with her family, where she works from home while wrangling two small children. She always has a caffeinated beverage in hand and a LEGO embedded in her foot.

Filed Under: boys, discipline

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Comments (28)

Nonmember comment from blh

on Dec 20, 2011 at 9:03 AM

Ha I feel ya. My son is only 20 months but he screams like a damn banshee. Sometimes I can deal with it but other time....no.

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Wheepingchree

on Dec 20, 2011 at 9:11 AM

I have no input...I have a 2 year old littl girl. Just wanted to let you know that your writing is hilarious.

Nonmember comment from HS

on Dec 20, 2011 at 9:12 AM

Lol! The only way I can get my son to quiet down is to offer a quiet activity that lasts 15 minutes, tops. I'll have him use his crayons or play with blocks but everything turns into a ruckus eventually lol. So I just let it be :) It's just me and him and I work full time so I don't want to be that nagging mom when we are home. He knows boundaries though, quiet in stores, restaurants, etc, but with 2 boys I'm sure getting the noise under control anywhere is challenging! The time he gets loudest though is when I'm on the phone. I'll always remember one time I was talking to a friend I hadn't spoken to in a while and after hushing him a few times, he went and got his tennis racket and started smacking the couch with it...which makes a loud popping sound. The mischievous look he gave me while doing it was priceless. Knew.exactly.what.he.was.doing! lol.

Justamom283

on Dec 20, 2011 at 9:22 AM

How do I deal with my kids being kids? Mom juice. After 2 glasses of that I usually don't mind the noise that much. To answer you 2nd question- create noise/choas boundaries. Such things don't exist in my house. My son and daughter are loud in EVERY part of the house. The only thing that has worked is 1) playing with them or 2) giving them the iPad and or laptop. I hate that I use the electonics as pacifiers but they work. As a teacher I know they will not get quieier until they get older. And then the noise is all together different; doors slamming and feet stomping up the stairs and a bunch of "MOM! I hate you!" I'm going thru that with my oldest.

Nonmember comment from Lori

on Dec 20, 2011 at 9:27 AM

We have a dreary, unfinished basement, which occassionally leaks a little water. I only venture down into it on laundry day. A couple months ago, my husband rearranged the old furniture and boxes, so our basement appliances are cordoned off. Then he put a big trunk full of balls out. Plus, he brought their big wheels and scooters inside. Now, whenever the noise level gets too high, I send them off to the basement. It's not as good as the backyard, but it's at least something. And the kids love it b/c no one tells them to stop running when they're downstairs.

JCHsquared

on Dec 20, 2011 at 9:29 AM

I was hoping YOU had some advice! Haha. I have 2 boys as well that are 22 months apart. My youngest will be turning 1 next Wednesday and he already loves to wrestle with his older brother. It's maddening to hear them have screaming contest while throwing and ramming toys in the wall. Oh, and the constant pushing down my older one does to the younger is just about to put me over the edge. It's nice to know I'm not the only one going through this insanity; that's the only comforting thing when raising children ;-)

MommaGreenhalge

on Dec 20, 2011 at 9:33 AM

I use the "inside voice" concept. We don't call it that, but they are not allowed to scream and shriek like that indoors. I started that at a very young age, though. I corrected them the first time they tried screaming for the fun of it like that. And before anyone accuses me of not letting my kids be kids and being too hard on them, stop. My kids roughouse with the best of them, and they play with each other brilliantly. They just know they aren't allowed to scream just for the fun of it.

Nonmember comment from Mike M

on Dec 20, 2011 at 9:45 AM

You could buy them a video game system... though at their ages I'd mostly only recommend it as an alternative to forcing them or repeatedly telling them to play more quietly (which, from a child's standpoint, likely tells the child that their parent cares more about themselves than they care about their child) as I do believe that allowing children to play freely is important for the development of their brain (such as their emotional health, creativity, social skills, motor skills/coordination, etc.). You could also just wear earplugs. Do keep reminding yourself of how important it is for your kids to be happy if you don't want to raise your kids in a way that may lead them to becoming depressed, rebellious (especially as teens), drug using, and maybe even suicidal. (So far I feel that you are doing an excellent job at raising your kids.) (And I'm not saying that being an intolerant parent causes such behavior problems in kids/teens as a lot depends on how well an individual can cope with the environment they're in, but it can increase an individual's risk. [And boys likely need to be allowed as much freedom as girls are given even though it can be difficult since boys likely have a stronger desire to be active than girls have. Speaking as a guy who noticed in 3rd grade that girls behave better than boys, and with that thought in mind I found it difficult to conform to the desires of adults [even though I'm quite shy] while it seemed to be an easy thing for girls to do.])

ashja

on Dec 20, 2011 at 10:09 AM

Oh, yeah, but them a video game so they can turn into brain-dead, grunting couch potatoes!

tis.unnatural

on Dec 20, 2011 at 10:50 AM

We have a large, finished basement with soft carpeting. We don't have the money to buy furnuture and make it a nice living space right now, but after watching a bunch of kids happily and safely chase each other around and tackle each other, etc, at my son's first birthday party, I think we'll leave the space as is. I'm pregnant with my second now and the prospect of sending the kids to the basement to play during our long Minnesota winters sounds perfect!