You Should Be Glad You're Raising the Smelly Kid

stinkyIt's one of the hardest questions a parent could have to answer: would you rather your kid be bullied or be the bully? Ultimately, I'd say neither, wouldn't you? No one wants their kid to be the jerk on the playground. But then again, we're trying to raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids here -- if they're getting picked on, our whole mama bear instinct kicks right into gear.

But a bunch of moms who were surveyed by Ivory Soap for their new mom initiative with my celeb mom crush Melissa McCarthy totally floored me. Fact is, they have an answer!

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About 43 percent of moms would be horrified to be parenting the smelly kid, while just 20 percent would have a problem with raising a potty mouth, 17 percent the whiner, and 13 percent would hate to raise the snob. Soooo. . . you'd rather be raising a twerp than the kind of kid who always got picked on on the playground?

Let me be clear: if my kid stinks, it means I'm doing something wrong. Teaching hygiene is a major component in raising a healthy kid. But I think every kid goes through one of those stinky phases. Peanuts' creator Charles Schulz based a whole character on that phase: Pigpen.

Some kids just like dirt. And grime. And they go through an "I hate baths" period. And you can work with them on reining it in. Find a new shampoo, convince them that bubblegum toothpaste is really the bees knees! More than likely, they will reach the day when they tire of the other kids holding their nose when they walk by, and they will start spending so much time in the shower you might as well buy stock in the water company. It's one of the few times I can honestly say a little peer pressure can be a parent's best friend.

And besides, get 'em clean, and underneath you have a pretty great kid. No whining. No snobbishness. Just a pure heart.

If you're raising the jerk, on the other hand, you're not so lucky. There's no toothbrush on the planet that's going to take away a bad personality.

Usually the kid who tortured you in kindergarten is the same one who makes high school a living hell. And let me tell you, as an adult who moved back to her hometown to raise her kid, I've found that the kid you avoided like the plague on the playground is the one you give only a curt hello in the post office as an adult. Once a jerk, always a jerk.

Kind of makes raising the smelly kid sound good, doesn't it?

 

Image via mattwi1s0n/Flickr

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