Your Kid Doesn't Want to Know the Truth About Santa

on December 5, 2011 at 2:08 PM

santa Think your savvy, jaded kid is ready to learn the truth about Santa Claus? Guess again. You may want to delay pulling back the curtain on the Jolly One -- at least for another year. I wish I had, anyway.

Last year, when my son was almost 7 (you know, the "age of reason"), he started pestering us about Santa, wanting to know if he was a real person. We could have kept the legend going. It wouldn't have been that hard. But instead I followed some parenting advice I'd heard and it TOTALLY BACKFIRED.

Our son had noticed all the different Santas everywhere, but that's easy to explain away: Santa needs extra helpers to visit all the kids around the world while he's busy in his workshop. But he was also starting to pick apart the logic. "How does Santa visit everyone in one night? We don't have a chimney, so does he have a key to our apartment? How come we never see reindeer tracks on our roof?" And so finally, I used a line I'd heard from another parent. I turned the question back on him. "Well, what do you think?"

He called my bluff and said, "I don't think Santa exists." Too soon I said, "Yup, you're right. There is no Santa Claus." Whenever I think back on this scene, I want to time-travel back to last-year-me and yell, "NOOOOOO! DON'T TELL HIM THE TRUTH! SHUT UP, SPOILER MOM!" Because when I confirmed his suspicion, he looked disappointed. "Did you want to keep believing in Santa?" I asked. "Yeah, I kind of did."

I didn't have to jump in so quickly to agree that there is no Santa. Of course there's a Santa -- me, his dad, his grandparents, everyone who loves him. We don't wear head-to-toe red and (most of us) don't have jiggly bellies, but for as long as he's a child, we'll be his Santa. My son is okay -- it wasn't that devastating. But I'm sorry I took away a little bit of Christmas magic from our home. And in case you're wondering, no, I'm not answering any questions about the Tooth Fairy until he's at least 12.

Have you told any of your kids about Santa yet? How do you know when they're ready?

Image via Tumbleweed:-)/Flickr

About the author Adriana Velez

is a staff writer who dabbles in food, parenting, news, entertainment, molecular biology, and anything else that that pops into her head. She lives with her husband and elementary school-aged son in Brooklyn, land of urban farms and artisan everything.

Filed Under: independence

Comments (32)

TC00

on Dec 5, 2011 at 2:19 PM

I say let them believe as long as possible, kids grow up so fast so let them have that little bit of magic for as long as you can

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Facebook comment from Jennifer Wagner Clark

on Dec 5, 2011 at 2:27 PM

I am 40 and I still believe in Santa Claus. I can feel his spirit enter me during the holiday season, and I know he works through others as well. Santa is magic like that! He can look like Santa, or like any one of us. Just like Agent Smith in the Matrix.

phoenixmom2011

on Dec 5, 2011 at 2:28 PM

So when I was about six, My sister who is ten years older than me, got angry at me and told me santa wasn't real so later that night my parents asked me why I was not upset so I told them because I believe in you. I am twenty nine living in my ownhome with my husband and now my son and I can gaurentee there will be a present under my moms tree from santa for me.

Mama2MonkeyBoys

on Dec 5, 2011 at 2:51 PM

It does take the magic away when you find out for certain. I'm going to let my kids believe as long as they want to. There's so much ugliness in the world, it does no harm to let them believe in something wonderful.

Nonmember comment from Tonya

on Dec 5, 2011 at 3:03 PM

My mom didn't go to any trouble to try to keep the Santa magic alive. Very early on I realized that Santa's writing was the same as my Mom's, as was the paper, tags, etc. I was so disappointed when I realized there couldn't be a Santa. As a mom, I go to GREAT lengths to keep Santa real. And apparently I'm doing a great (maybe too good) job because both my girls believe at the ages of 7 and 11. And before anyone raises an eyebrow over the oldest, let me add that she is very mature in all other ways, and she's a straight A student. I hope they believe forever. I'm going to be like phoenixmom's mom!

Emberbaby

on Dec 5, 2011 at 3:12 PM

They have a lifetime to see the ugly things in the world. Let them live in a magical place for as longas possible. I was TEN years old when my parents finally fessed up. I consider myself lucky :)

PonyChaser

on Dec 5, 2011 at 3:48 PM

To all of you. Thank you. In a world - on a day - when second-grade teachers, newscasters, and plenty of nasty commenters are screaming, "Santa is a lie!!".... thank you. Thank you for believing in magic, and thank you for passing it on to your children. And helping me pass it on to mine.

We are Santa Claus. And may we live forever.

Facebook comment from Marcella Shambles

I'm with Jennifer - Santa isn't a "he" - Santa is the spirit of giving and loving. My daughter is 8 and asked me flat out if Santa is real - I told her as long as you believe in the spirit of giving in loving, you'll get a present from Santa every Christmas. I know she doesn't believe in him now, she knows I know, but we'll keep it going for the love of it.

RhondaVeggie

on Dec 5, 2011 at 4:05 PM

Santa isn't magic, he's a children's story. There is so much real magic in the world. When you make up fake magic then kids stop believing in the real stuff too as they grow up. They grow in to jaded adults who are so blind to the real magic in the world that they go to great lengths to make up magic to replace what they have lost. That is sad.

My son knows that Santa is pretend and that some families like to pretend that their presents come from him. I've never told him that some kids really believe that Santa is real because then he'd be tempted to set them straight (he has a scientific mind and hates misconceptions) and as previously established, some parents are crazy about maintaining the lie. I know he will find out some day that some kids believe he's real. Chances are there will some kids crying when that day comes, I remember several kids sobbing when a boy in my class shattered the illusion for them, and then he will understand why I haven't lied to him.

EquestrianMom

on Dec 5, 2011 at 4:10 PM

We never tell the truth about Santa in our family (well, honestly, who knows? He was real once!) and we all grow into the realization at some point that regardless of if he is real, it isn't about that. It's about how hard mommy and daddy worked to sneak in those santa presents. How your cousin made such a creative theory on how Santa goes to so many houses in one night. How mommy explained why reindeer really could fly. How for a little while, the whole family, extended family, everyone, participated in the same, age old, amazing story of good will and sharing. And if he's real, Great! If he's not, well, we all enjoyed our Christmas anyways.