Hugh Jackman is an amazing actor, he is gorgeous, talented, funny, and he is also a dad. For him, the priority, no matter how much work he has, will always be his daughter. And the tabloids have been very clear on that, extolling his fatherly virtues on a daily basis when he picks up his little 6-year-old from school.
It's awe-inspiring and exciting to see dads actively participate, but it isn't so unusual. Besides, who has been picking the kids up all along? Can't moms get some love, too?
It has been the double standard my husband and I have seen since we first got pregnant almost six years ago. When he goes out with the kids alone, people praise him. When I do? Nada. Zilch. Nothing.
A few Saturdays ago, I had to work, so my husband took the kids to the Science Museum. He said no less than four people smiled and told him what a great dad he was. And when he takes them to the grocery store, it's even crazier.
"Your wife is so lucky to have you," one grandmother told him.
On the same trip, another woman said: "You give all dads a good name."
Well, I am and he does, but let's get real. I take my kids to the grocery store alone all the time and no one even gives me a second glance unless it's to be critical. After all, I am just doing what all moms do, right? Moms do it all and no one says they are awesome.
Hugh Jackman's wife Deborra-Lee Furness might pick the kids up every day, but it isn't until DADDY does it that anyone gets any praise.
Look, good dads are great. But so are good moms. Anyone who takes two toddlers to the store is doing a great job as a parent. The next time I see a mom struggling to be patient while her kids scream and ask endless questions and wake her up in the middle of the night and fight her on wearing boots and jackets, I am going to go right up to her and tell her, "The world needs more women like you." Because it does.
We need good dads and good moms and both need a little recognition for their efforts.
Do you resent the double standard?
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Comments 19
Yes. When I take my son to my college with me,no one says anything. But if my so has him while I'm in class people open doors for him and say nice things to him about being a dad. It's ridiculous.
Interesting. I do think that men just need more praise than women, but that isn't a good enough excuse no to praise moms. Do you think some of it is jealousy amongst mothers - we all know how catty gals can be? I have 2 friends and the 3 of us always try to compliment each other as great moms, but otherwise, I would never hear a "you go girl!" for being a good mother.
In regards to Hugh Jackman, the media just focuses on him because he is so freaky hot. As a note, he has a son too and he is often photographed with him. His wife just isn't as famous. Also, since they live in NYC, they are out and about alot, which is good. Maybe their kids will be normal. I notice alot of pics of Liev Schrieber too with his boys and Matthew Broderick, but again, these are all NY'ers.
I don't resent it at all. Statistically, there are more "deadbeat dads" than there are "unfit mothers". I have known more people in my life that were raised by single mothers than fathers. I know there are spectacular moms out there. While I don't always tell these women to their face, I do tell my husband how well I think this or that mom is doing in the grocery store.
However. It is LESS often that I see fathers with their children. I most often see mothers because, IN GENERAL, that is what happens. With unplanned pregnancy out of wedlock, the GENERAL pattern is that the man takes off. So when I see a daddy with his little one, my heart melts and I want to squeal and get excited that this man is being a dad. My husband grew up without a father, so I make it a point to tell fathers, who are also often LESS confident in their parenting skills (in general), how wonderful they are doing if they appear receptive. Most often, in my own experience, the fathers are more receptive to you telling them something about their parenting, even if it's good. The few times I've tried to tell women, they get pissed off even if I say, "You're doing a great job with your baby. Her face is so cute when she's crying, too!" There have been a few (very few) times where the mother looked so relieved. But I don't often tell women because they just get MAD.
Warning, sexist comment ahead: It's because of the way our society is structured. In general, men go to work and women are the homemakers.
how often, on this site and others, and amongst people you talk to, do you hear people talking about what a great mom Jane is because she works full time and still manages to have great kids? She gets compliments all the time. But the Sally, who volunteers probably the same amount of time that Jane works for pay, doesn't get a peep, because Sally is expected to volunteer. She's a SAHM, and that's what they do (because they have all that time, dontcha know).
Men traditionally DON'T hold the nurturer role, just like women traditionall don't hold the breadwinner role. Yeah, they're perfectly capable of it, and they should be, more often. But they're not. So when you see the ones who are... they get the compliments.
Doesn't make it right - EVERYONE deserves to be complimented for doing a good job (not held up as a hero... that's a peeve and a rant for another day).
Why is that so amazing?!? I know, it is great that he is willing to help, but mommy or daddy, a parents job is to take care of their kids. I just don't see why its applause-worthy for him to wash his own children, lol.
There are too many single moms, and people are just surprised to see dads taking responsibility for their kids sometimes.
On the other hand, Hugh Jackman in particular probably gets "praise" when with his daughter because, well, he's Hugh Jackman!
My baby got a Wolverine band-aid today at the doctor today. The man is famous! He's Wolverine!
Most women think it's hot to see a man with his kids. Haven't you ever heard of a guy asking to hold his friend's baby to pick up chicks?
And while you're on the topic of nit-picking strangers, I'm going to point something out.
It irks me when women say, "when WE got pregnant". It's not "WE", it's "I". You are pregnant, not your husband. "WE are expecting a baby" sounds less creepy.
I hate it!!!!!!!!!! I never get praised :/ not even the slightest. It seems like since it is expected to be a good mom they should never compliment that I am doing a wonderful job. Whenever my SO even picks up our son because he is crying people will tell him how amazing of a father he is. It really sucks.