I always thought Jimmy Kimmel was a pretty cool guy. Funny. Talented. And such a nice guy he actually had a nice-off with fellow talk show host Ellen DeGeneres. But America, I was wrong. Jimmy Kimmel is one bad dude.
I daresay his latest prank on the children of America makes him even worse than the terrifying child catcher with the pointy nose that made Chitty Chitty Bang Bang nearly unwatchable well into my teens (OK, my 20s). He stole all of their Halloween candy! And while I'm laughing (hysterically) on the outside, you better believe I'm crying on the inside!
Technically he made parents of America hide their kids' holiday sugar stash so he didn't get his hands dirty. The parents were instructed to then hit record on the videocamera when the little squirts came asking where it had gone. Kimmel's barbarous plan required Moms and Dads to then tell their precious darlings that they, themselves, had EATEN every last bite! And he rolled video of the reactions live on national television last night.
Watch for yourself, proof that Jimmy Kimmel is evil incarnate:
Awww! Those poor kids! Just imagine: you get up at the crack of dawn to go to school. You eat a measly bowl of organic oatmeal with fresh squeezed juice (not even the crappy orange product your best friend gets). You ride that bumpy bus ride to school and sit quietly through math, science, and English language arts. You stomach that lean turkey on whole wheat at lunch with a side of 1 percent milk (alas, no chocolate). You watch the clock with nary a pencil tap.
You do all of this with a smile on your face because you know that true glory awaits you at home in the form of a plastic pumpkin filled to the brim with glorious decadence.
And then it's gone.
I would have melted down too, especially if anyone touched my fudge (yes, I'm an adult, and I still get my own packet of fudge from the same house I trick-or-treated all through my childhood -- what's it to you?). Doesn't Kimmel remember when his kids were little? Heck, doesn't he remember when HE was a kid?
What do you think? Is Jimmy Kimmel just too mean for words?
Image via YouTube