It's funny how different my social circle is now that my kid is in first grade. Once peopled with friends from all walks of life, there's one word that could sum up about 80 percent of my best girls these days: mom. It seems the fertility gods were kind to me. But sometimes it feels like motherhood homogenizes your whole life.
You've heard of the mom mafia? The stroller squad? What makes those names hurt isn't that we're being made fun of for procreating, but the reason so many moms have so few friends in the child-free camp. We've all been dumped by at least one or two along the way.
I used to think it was just my (unlucky) lot in life, but the more moms I ask, the more I've found that just about every one has the story of being unceremoniously dropped by a non-parent friend. No wonder we feel so alone! But some of the these "friends" really top the stupid scales. As they say on every Law & Order rerun, here are there stories:
1. My friends couldn't understand why I was exhausted at 10 p.m. . . just when they were ready to go out! So they said if I couldn't "make time for them," I wasn't a good enough friend. What happened to making time for me?
2. I was invited to my friend's destination wedding, and I really wanted to go. But when she told me it was child-free, I felt really uncomfortable having to find a babysitter in a strange place far away from home. When I told her that, she didn't offer to help. She just stopped talking to me!
3. My friend wanted to go out, and my husband was happy to stay home with the baby. Score! Trouble is, she didn't warn me she expected it to be like old times complete with a boatload of drinks. I was still breastfeeding, so I offered to be the designated driver, but she wasn't happy with that. She told me to just take her home then, and she hasn't really returned my call since. I guess I'm not "fun" anymore.
4. So my best girlfriend ever is not a "baby" person. And I told her that was no problem. I wouldn't expect her to change diapers or anything; I'd be happy to have an occasional girls night out with my best friend after my son was born. Fast forward to 6 weeks after delivery, and I called her up to invite her to his christening. She coolly informed me that a "real best" friend would have asked her to be the godmother, and no, she would not be coming. What?
It's stories like these that make me appreciate my daughter's (child-free) godmother when she shows up at my house for dinner, and spends an hour watching my kid do silly dance moves in the living room!
How about you? Do you have an "I got dumped" story?
Image via JD Hancock/Flickr