Call me crazy, but I love the new tattooed Barbie that supposedly has good, upstanding moms everywhere freaking out. Just look at her -- she's awesome! First of all, she's a limited edition collaboration from Mattel and the Italian brand Tokidoki (yes, the same company that sells cosmetics in adorable punk/animé packaging at Sephora) targeted at collectors, not 6-year-olds. So all those wholesome parents can stop worrying about having to shield their innocent children's eyes when walking through the doll aisle at the toy store.
Secondly, let's get real for a minute: Barbie has always dressed like a $5 hooker. It's not like this new model represents some drastic departure from her usual style of sweater sets and linen slacks. So now she has tattoos.
I'm sorry, but when did tattoos become a symbol of immorality?
And when did we start taking toys so damn seriously?
Here's the thing: I've never even been a huge Barbie fan. I mean, I liked playing with Barbie when I was a kid, but as a mom, I was thrilled when my daughter's Barbie phase lasted all of six months.
But this wasn't necessarily because I think the doll is an evil influence determined to set feminism back several decades; my main gripe at the time was that Barbie and her ever-expanding collection of accessories were impossible to keep organized and her tiny choking-hazard shoes were always ending up in my son's mouth, who was crawling at the time.
Yes, Barbies are almost always blonde and blue-eyed. Yes, Barbie has enormous boobs and a teeny-weeny waist, proportions no human being could ever pull off.
Barbie is also 11.5 inches tall and made of plastic.
I kind of doubt there are that many parents who truly are "outraged" over Tattooed Barbie -- don't most of us have rather bigger fish to fry when it comes to raising our kids? But I do have a suggestion for any moms who are genuinely offended by the doll:
Don't buy it. There, problem solved!
Would you buy the new tattooed Barbie for your kid?
Image via Tokidoki