10 Murphy's Laws of Motherhood

Being a Mom 46

Kids are nothing if not predictable. They will find a way to make every single situation more difficult, expensive, and irritating than it would otherwise be. It's a good thing we love them so much. Otherwise? We'd want to kill them ...

1. Children always fall asleep early for the sitter who gets paid by the hour to entertain them.

2. Bed wetting only occurs immediately after the sheets have been washed, and similarly, pooping always occurs in a brand new diaper.

3. Children inevitably rise earlier on the weekends than the weekdays. By hours.

4. The day you specially prepare their most favorite meal, they will suddenly hate that particular food, but whatever YOU are eating, the kids will suddenly find irresistible and you will be forced to share.

5. Only once in their ballet outfit, car-seat, or snowsuit will they suddenly have to pee so bad.

6. Dated hand-me-downs stay clean, but expensive, special occasion outfits get trashed the first time they’re worn. And brand new tights never get more than one wearing.

7. On the night your child throws up, he/she will have consumed something with red or purple dye in it. Always.

8. The moment you grab the video camera to document a milestone or precious moment, they’ve moved on to other things.

9. Only after a bath will they spit up everywhere, finger paint with spaghetti, or tattoo themselves with mud.

10. Your children will say the cutest things, show off their smarts, and be completely charming as long as no one else is around. But as soon as Grandma comes over, there is no way they are doing whatever it was you were dying to show Grandma.


Image via Flickr/left hand



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mom2m... mom2monsterboys

Lol, so true. That's what makes kids super awesome, while predictable, they are never boring!!

chels... chelsieb27

So very true.  :)  Kids are so awesome.  

momofqxb momofqxb

Your child is a Houdini! It doesn't matter how many layers of clothes you put on your child they will figure out how to take them off and play with their poop. They will break free from their car seat and scare the crap out of you!

Holly Ray

It never fails, my daughter will NOT poop in a wet diaper...its got to be a brand new clean one.

nonmember avatar Nancy

This is all so.. Im glad I'm not alone in this wonderful journey of motherhood :)

Cara Leigh

I have a 3 and 5 year old and actually found only numbers 4 and 5 to be true... thankfully!

nonmember avatar Toni Ann Spunar

I have to say this that "I would never say, I would kill my kids" even in jest. That comment turned me off. I was going to send to my daughter.....believe me, I know the frustrations, but would never say that about any child....no matter how tough they are....

bether89 bether89

These are so true!  Especially the rising early on the weekends.

Jessie S. Hegwood

that is very true!!!! All of it! I need to print that list out and hang it up so that I can be reminded that it is just gonna happen.

Another one though that just happened this morning: Your baby will not have a diaper blow out that needs the shower for clean up until your husband JUST gets into the shower to get ready for work.

Magen Kauffman

#4 is sooooo true! And it's probably the EXACT same thing that's on their plate, at least it usually is at my house! LOL!

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