When you become a mother, you have to come up with all kinds of strategies to learn how to deal with your kids. They’re small, but those bad boys have strong personalities and the nerve to be stubborn. The greatest challenge for some moms, though, seems to be taking their little ones shopping. I was in Target last week when a little boy went off because his mama took a bag of candy out of his hands and put it back on the shelf.
Good for her, but her smart health move came with consequences: his lip trembled, his face broke up, and — you know what’s next — his head flew back like it was on hinges as he opened his mouth in a gigantic wail. He cried. And cried. And cried. There was no section of the store where you could escape the sound of his bellowing. But his mother’s tactic was to ignore him. She was steady pushing the cart along, pretending that her child wasn’t screaming like an air raid siren.
That might be the way to do it at home. I applaud the woman who can really show her children who’s boss and not bow and scrape to their every little sniffle. It’s hard to do for a couple of different reasons: they tend to be loud, for one, and for two, you hate to see your babies upset, even when those babies are all big and towering over you. That’s part of the big kid get-what-I-want technique. Be as ear-grating as possible so mom and dad will hurry to quiet me with whatever it is I’m asking for. So kudos to the mothers who don’t fall for it. Grandmothers? Not so much.
But for crying out loud — literally — when you’re in a public place packed with people like me, just trying to pick up my Dove body wash and knee high socks for The Girl, that’s not the time to put that strategy into play. When your child is raising the roof off the sucka with his 5,000-decibel cries, you can’t ignore that it’s happening because it’s inconsiderate to the other shoppers around you. I served my time in toddler land, ma’am. So why am I being victimized by the bouts and battles you’re having with yours?
I only had a problem with Miss Skylar one time in the store. Once. We were in a Wal-mart (I guess I should say that these are like my major hangouts, Wal-mart and Target), and she, like this little dude hollering his head off, wanted something or another that she’d been denied from getting. She started crying at the register, and after I finished paying, I took her hand to walk out and she pulled the ol’ fall-out-like-her-knees-turned-to-Jell-O trick. I dragged her along for about five steps before I let go of her hand, thinking that that would make her pull herself together and try to catch up with me. Instead she fell out on the filthy, disgusting floor.
I swatted her butt two times and ain’t had a problem out of her since.
I’m not saying the little alarm in the front of the cart needed a spanking. If that’s not his mother’s parenting flavor, that’s cool. I just needed her not to subject the rest of us to his temper tantrum. If that’s how it’s going to be, I’ll kindly ask her and other mothers who use the same modus operandi to do their shopping at www.target.com, thank you very much. There’s a link in case you need it.
As another alternative, she could’ve taken her child to the car, waited for him to get his behavior back into civilized order, then went on back in to finish doing what she had to do.
You get off a hard day at work — or in my case, a bunch of back-to-back deadlines — and you’re tired, hungry, maybe even PMS-ing. Maybe you missed the bus that evening. Maybe your car is acting up. Maybe you just dropped your cellphone in the toilet when you were in the ladies’ room. Whatever. We’ve all got stressors in our lives and you know what we don’t need? Mothers teaching their children a lesson when it involves nerve-wracking screeches and screams from a Mariah Carey-note hitting toddler to aggravate the situation.
This has been a public service announcement from a disgruntled shopper.
What annoys you about other parents when you’re shopping or eating out?
Image via USACE Europe District/Flickr


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Comments 369
ok- here's my take. As parents we especially have the responsibility to suck it up and trust that the kids' parents are dealing the best they can. You know that whole saying- "it takes a village to raise a child'? I think that waaaay too many people get so caught up in their own personal lives they forget that they too are a part of the village responsible for rearing that child. JMHO
ok there is a difference in just being an annoyance and standing there thinking if this was my kid i would bust their ass! like others have said have some sympathy for other moms you dont know what they are going through that day or week...all the same though, you know what your kids will do and how far they will push while in public so use some disgression and pull a time out or simply take them to the bathroom and calm them down in a little more privacy
I agree completely with her! I HATE trying to shop and having to listen to kids screaming like banshees while the parents ignore them or just try the "Stop that Timmy" and then allow them to continue screaming and/or hitting them. I understand parents are stressed and I also know that all children will have tantrums and meltdowns. But if you aren't willing to discipline your child, don't bring them out in public. If I acted up as a child my parents had no problem spanking me, and guess what? I didn't act out again!
I don't usually take the time to comment on the articles that I read however, the arrogance that this article exudes is rude and thoughtless. As if the rest of the world should be in tune with your day and your feelings and make adjustments to both accordingly. As my parents used to say "The world doesn't revolve around you". Perhaps if you afforded that mother the same consideration that you seem to feel is owed to you, you might learn not to be so concerned with other mothers and children and not let it bother you so much in the future. Kids cry, kids yell, kids scream, get over it. Focus all that aggrivation and concern on something that might make a difference for someone.
A smile and an "I've been there too" look might have made this mom feel just a little better. Must be nice to have an angel-child who spent her toddler years polishing her halo after 2 swats. You may have the parenting thing down, but the empathy thing you need to work on.
I use to feel this way a long time ago. However, our sons therapist told us to do what was described above. Ignore it. The only time to remove him from the store is when he starts destroying things. Such as tearing things off of shelves. That ignoring it and not showing him that he can control where we go with his tantrums will make them stop. Our son has had major regressions in his behavior. I use to have the child who never threw a tantrum in the store. Now anytime we go I can almost count on one.
Most of these comments are disgustingly self-righteous. Abusive? Are you people freaking serious?! It's not abuse, it's called discipline. I had ONE meltdown in a store as a child and you know what my mother did? Took me to the parking lot and spanked me. Did I ever do it again? Hell no, I didn't. Not because I was "fearful" of my mother, but because after all was said and done my mother got down to my level and explained to me WHY she spanked me. I learned that bad behavior wasn't just bad- I learned WHY it was bad. Do I fear, resent, or hate my parents now? Hell no. I love them and appreciate the values they instilled in me at such a young age. It's sickening to watch parents nowadays cater to their child's every whim because they (and I'm going to assume most of the parents that have commented here thus far) have bred brats. Yes, sanctimommies on The Stir, your children are BRATS and it's YOUR fault, not their's. Way to make excuses for terrible behavior ("Wah wah, they are children, that's what children do! Blah blah blah"). Congratulations on raising the next generation of self-centered, spoiled, entitled kids.
I have to agree. I have two kids and would never allow them to scream uncontrollably at home much less a public place. After all, if your child is screaming and crying so that everyone is having to endure it, that child is having a defiant tantrum and should be dealt with immediately! It's ridiculous to ignore this behavior and downright inconsiderate of the parent to allow it to continue. These parents give good parents a bad name. Also, the car comment was just a suggestion. If you don't have a car, you can go outside, to a restroom, etc. to get control of your child.